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My friend is newly into a long distance relationship, what would you advice? email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 94/100. drsparkle314 (169)   ranked 695 out of 17,461 in relationships2 months ago

My friend and her bf had been in a relationship for more than two years already but just recently her bf left to go to the States and work there... they didn't break up but she fears the uncertainty of the future... when her bf left he told her that is was for his family and for their future... she believes and trusts him but she's afraid that her bf might eventually apply for citizenship there which would cause them to separate permanently... she couldn't even bare imagining that they would be away from each other for three years...

I've advised her to take it slowly... step by step... day by day... and think positively... I mean it it's meant then it will happen...

How about you guys what would you advice her?

 
 
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tags:  long distance relationship, love, long distance relationships, relation, long distance
 
1. myLot reputation of 74/100. sirfsuraz (306)   ranked 5,911 out of 17,461 in relationships   2 months ago

yeah, it is hard to face such condition. I'll also face the same problem if it happens to me even i am a boy. You will be aware about it, isn't it? But all we can do is keep in touch my the means of communication. She can call him after certain days of gap or even may be daily. But daily calling him may disturb his work. But still you can stay in touch with each other by telephone instead of mail.Well this is all that i can suggest. Be brave at your heart. You trust him and he too trusts you. Best of luck for your friend.


myLot reputation of 94/100. drsparkle314 (169)   ranked 695 out of 17,461 in relationships  2 months ago

thanks.. I'll pass her your advice and message...

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2. myLot reputation of 98/100. blackmantra_x (1925)   ranked 718 out of 17,461 in relationships   2 months ago

good day..In reality long distance relationship don't last. I don't want to say it but its true. What to do? simple. Either she goes there or he comes back. Long distance relationship at my own statistics can last up to 2 years max. Imagine your talk time is even limited specially when you're in a different time zone. When you need physical connection then what? Voice and videos can ease the absence for only as much but then touch, eye contact, moments and family gatherings are lacking and these would be a major factor, not to mention other people. This is sad but this is true as well if they really love each other then I suggest they marry before parting. my 1 cent.


myLot reputation of 94/100. drsparkle314 (169)   ranked 695 out of 17,461 in relationships  2 months ago

hmm... good point...

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3. myLot reputation of 99/100. SomeCowgirl (2039)   ranked 45 out of 17,461 in relationships   2 months ago

A lot of people like to assume that long distance relationships won't last. They are wrong. They can last but, yes they are very unheard of. The key is to remain faithful and keep in contact with your gf/bf - husband/wife or fiance and remind them of how much you love them. The best advice I can give her is to stay positive, remember how much you love him and he loves you and try to stay in contact with him as much as possible. Have a Great day.


myLot reputation of 94/100. drsparkle314 (169)   ranked 695 out of 17,461 in relationships  2 months ago

that's one thing I told her... to stay positive... because if she keeps thinking about negative things she'll just end up having suspicions which may eventually result in an argument... thanks I'll pass her your advice...

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4. myLot reputation of 90/100. Linda4ualways (926)   ranked 287 out of 17,461 in relationships   2 months ago

So what your saying is that he will be here in the states for the next 3 years and after that he might apply for citizenship? That would be a hard pill to swallow but what can she do? There isn't any use in her stressing over it because as you said drsparkle, if something is meant to be then it will happen. Personally, I do not like long distance relationships because you never know if your man/woman will be faithful to you, although they can be in the same town and still cheat.

Tell your friend not to stress or at least try not to. Go on with her life and do what she has to do and yes, think positive! Take care.


myLot reputation of 94/100. drsparkle314 (169)   ranked 695 out of 17,461 in relationships  2 months ago

yeah I'll tell her that... thanks...

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5. myLot reputation of 99/100. angelwhispers30 (1630)   ranked 90 out of 17,461 in relationships   2 months ago

She's thinking way too far ahead right now with this situation. She needs to take it one day at a time, and try to get into a routine where they can talk to each other, and get used to being away from each other.

I have done the long distance thing, and though it is hard, if they're true to themselves and each other, it will work itself out. Why is she worried that he might eventually apply for citizenship? And even if he does, what is preventing her from joining him in the States?

I agree with the advice you gave her already. Take it day by day, and think positively. He hasn't been gone very long with the sound of things, and he might be back sooner than she thought.


myLot reputation of 77/100. muxicka (151)   ranked 3,094 out of 17,461 in relationships  2 months ago

I think what you said was right.
"She's thinking way too far ahead right now with this situation."
Often the guy endures much more rather than the girl (i think so).
Because "often" girls do make irrational decisions just based on the way they feel.
And that leaves the guy, disturbed.


myLot reputation of 94/100. drsparkle314 (169)   ranked 695 out of 17,461 in relationships  2 months ago

that's right angelwhispers30... he's just left about three days ago and she's already thinking too much... I advised her to just believe in him and be patient... thanks for the advice I'll tell that to her...=)


myLot reputation of 94/100. drsparkle314 (169)   ranked 695 out of 17,461 in relationships  2 months ago

you've got a good point there muxicka...

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6. myLot reputation of 77/100. muxicka (151)   ranked 3,094 out of 17,461 in relationships   2 months ago

I've been around with my girlfriend for more than 2 yrs by now.
Before, we share the same situation, I had to leave the country because I got employed working in abroad.
And me and my gf was just new back then.
It's quite very hard to endure, since I didn't know my gf that much and she has some personality problems, she has a lot of flaws.
Often we fight about her getting involved in another guys and things like that.
But in the end she learned and see things as I view it.
I think you're friend could endure more than this since they have already known each other much longer than I have knew my gf back then.
Also if they really trust each other, things would work out.


myLot reputation of 94/100. drsparkle314 (169)   ranked 695 out of 17,461 in relationships  2 months ago

I agree... I think I need to make my friend really calm so that she could understand the things in a different way...

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7. myLot reputation of 83/100. maple_kisses (501)   ranked 521 out of 17,461 in relationships   2 months ago

Hi drsparkle314...:)

I've seen two relationships gone in two different directions with that set-up. Mine and my friend's. I guess you can say that between us, she's the lucky one. We both entered a long distance relationship and she succeeded on it while I failed, HARD.

The reasons for failure was mostly TRUST, the lack of it. Oh, there are so many problems because of the distance but it all boils down to that one word, trust. I can truly say I've known my ex and trusted him that much that I was assured he won't betray me, but the feeling wasn't mutual. Though my ex loved me just as much, he never went out to trust me wholeheartedly. He was always jealous, always doubting, always picking a fight that I sometimes think if he's doing it because he's found someone else. I had to let him go at last, I know a happy person when I see one. I don't wanna build my happiness on another person's miseries, especially if that person is so dear to me. THE POINT HERE is that, TRUST is of paramount importance especially in long distance relationships. My friend's boyfriend, trusted her so much even if my friend was so naughty and was never really serious until they got married. I mean, the guy was miles away, but he held on to my friend's promise that she belongs to him no matter what he hears or sees. Talk about TRUST.

So, I suggest your friend make it a point to build on each other's TRUST. It's just a word, easy to promise, but is she willing to accept the consequences of trusting her man? Is she willing to compromise? Will she squash away all doubts whenever she detected something amiss? Will she be able to talk openly about her fears and doubts to her boyfriend? Well... It's trust.


myLot reputation of 94/100. drsparkle314 (169)   ranked 695 out of 17,461 in relationships  2 months ago

you're right that's what I've been reminding her from the start... well she keeps saying she do trust him but the way I see it... she does but not so much... thanks for the advice...

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8. myLot reputation of 95/100. raclie (776)   ranked 1,522 out of 17,461 in relationships   2 months ago

i think i will just tell her to talk to him, but i will be prepared to get ready for a breakup..


myLot reputation of 94/100. drsparkle314 (169)   ranked 695 out of 17,461 in relationships  2 months ago

well that's one thing as of the moment I believe she can't do...

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9. myLot reputation of 92/100. aj2006 (975)   ranked 2,202 out of 17,461 in relationships   2 months ago

Trust,patience,endless love... that's the thing that crossed my mind while reading your post. it entails a lot of sacrifices,and constant communication is a must. We are fortunate because we have high edge communication tools now..so communication is just a text,email away.


myLot reputation of 94/100. drsparkle314 (169)   ranked 695 out of 17,461 in relationships  2 months ago

I agree... I think my friend needs to be really patient...

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10. myLot reputation of 21/100. janardhan04 (105)   ranked 12,942 out of 17,461 in relationships   2 months ago

if she belives in him then no need to worry


myLot reputation of 94/100. drsparkle314 (169)   ranked 695 out of 17,461 in relationships  2 months ago

hmm... you're right...

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