HOw to break free from parents
By amandar658
@amandar658 (547)
July 4, 2008 8:45pm CST
I am having a really hard time with my parents and getting them off my back. I am 22 years old and they still feel that they are in control and that tehy are the ones who should be making all my decisions for me. And they have a cerfew for me, as well as Ihave to ask if I can go somewhere, and if they say no its a no. I am getting upset because I no longer have a solution for any of this.
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4 responses
@stagewhisper (901)
• United States
5 Jul 08
I take it you're living at home at the moment, right? Are you doing anything to help around the house at all? Are you paying rent for your room? Do you have a job so you can pay for your own things?
They may be treating you like a child because, for whatever reason, they are still perceiving you as one. The best way to get past this is not only to find a serious career-based job, but also to move out (if you DO live at home) and a good distance away from the household. A preferable distance would be at least an hour or two away, so that they couldn't just pop up without notice every single day to drive you crazy.
Whatever the case, I wish you the best of luck.
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@amandar658 (547)
•
5 Jul 08
Yes I am still living at home. Although I am only there basically 3 nights a week becuase I have to go to school the other few nights. I try to do things around the house but my mom doesnt like anyone doing anything but her. I think the problem is that they dont like the fact that I am grwoing up. I do want to move in with my boyfriend but am scared to tell them that becuase I think they would loose their mind. And just scream and yell and never speak to me again.
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@amandar658 (547)
•
5 Jul 08
I do care about him a lot and feel that I would be much happeir there with him, but they dont liek him and i know its becuase he doesnt have education. Which people keep all saying to me but he has a high paying job he is making over 20$ an hour but thats not good enough for my parents.
Yes I do have a job, and make money for myself. Thanks I will try to be the calm one but its just so unbelievable people can not believe the situation i am in or how they are.
I almost just want to move out when they go away at the end of the month and not even tell them.
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@stagewhisper (901)
• United States
5 Jul 08
That sucks... I'm sorry to hear that your parents would freak out because you'd be moving in with somebody that you care about. Do you have a job? That might help keep them from getting too thoroughly upset. Although I don't quite understand why they would be so upset about your moving out; it sounds like they're being way too overprotective.
The best thing you can do is tough it out as well as you can. If they flip out, try to be calm; switch the roles so that you are the calm, reasonable person in control of the discussion. Try to show them how mature you are; that you're no longer a child.
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@koharukusumi (1539)
• Malaysia
5 Jul 08
Hello amandar658, the only way to break free from your parents is by getting a serious career because in that way, you will not depend on them financially and you are practically your own boss. Try starting a business or getting a degree and then you might be able to break free from them in about 2-3 years.
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@amandar658 (547)
•
5 Jul 08
I am just finishing my teaching degree I have 6 weeks left but am considering not finishing becuase I feel i cant live at home anymore with them breathing down my neck constantly. It is making me so frustrated. I just want to get out but am scared if I move out that they will never speak to me again.
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@koharukusumi (1539)
• Malaysia
5 Jul 08
I am just wondering. Why do you hate your parents so much? And are you communicationg with them a lot?
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@coffeebreak (17797)
• United States
12 Jul 08
Trust me as I've been there, done that - if you don't finish your degree, you will never make it. That degree is your ticket to your own life. An education is what you need. DOn't let it all get you to quit, but make it all your reason to work harder to make sure you win and so you can get out.
ON the other hand, as a mother to two police officers with children it is hard to let go. I see them struggling so hard and financially I can't help them as I am having trouble helping myself in that catagory, but whatever else I can help them with I do. I keep their kids - no charge and buy them groceries and do their laundry if they brig it to me... whatever they want me to hlep them with. IT is hard to let go cause I want so much for them...help them like I never got help or support when I needed it and never got it.
But no matter what, don't stop your education. Grab it while you can and make it happen for yourself. Please don't give up your education.
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@dnatureofdtrain (5273)
• Janesville, Wisconsin
29 May 09
I hope you were able to get that teaching degree, I want to break free from my parents too I am 29 I have no job or transportation and its the lack of transporation that stopped me for awhile then injurying myself falling down the stairs last year did not help.. and still now my ankle keeps on swelling so I can't wear shoes.. its annoying...
Your solution is coming. finish the school for that degree.. Apply to a teaching job.. ... save enough money to be able to make it on your own for a few months at time.. plan this well then you will not have to move back in...
Make sure you have all the papers you need etc.. and do your research well on where you want to go.
You are further ahead than I am living in small town, outside of a town where the GM plant closure ripple effected and 1/3 of the towns homes are now on the market..
TEACHING! good profession they need teachers like crazy! ... Now more than ever :) ...
I hope all goes well and I hope to hear of your progress.. My progress is going a very slow route internet earning through sites like mylot...
There is no way I can crawl out of under my mothers thumb without world war three... so I have a to take a more slower approach at my goal... But its better than doing nothing at all.
- DNatureofDTrain
@xXSnowFoxXx (458)
• Philippines
5 Jul 08
No need to feel bad about it. It's because they care for you, but it can really be bad if they are the only ones who will make the decisions for you and it's like your just a robot who agrees to their decisions. You can prove to them that you are already matured by making the right decisions in whatever you do. Think first before you speak. In making your decisions, think not only of yourself but of other people as well. Those are some of the basics you must know for you to prove to your parents that you are no longer a child in actions (but only at heart...). Enjoy life!
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@amandar658 (547)
•
6 Jul 08
Thanks for that. I am not sure at this point how things are going to work. Ithink that for the best of all people in the situation is to just move out. But I know I am going to have to deal with the ramifications of them by me mvoing out. It is really sad that I think I will have to deal with the consequences of moving out at this age especially since I moved out to go to school.
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