Who's has the final say in your house?

You are sooooo right madam. I do not under any circumstance allow anyone especially one of my children or any one else's for that matter, tell me anything in my house. I think you hit the nail on the head when you suggested spanking the parent. I cant count the number of times I have been at a store and witnessed the whole tantrum act. I feel like snatching the child up and then the parent. I am happy to know that I am not the only one who doesnt oppose a pop on the bottom every once in a while. Thanks for responding. dl.

I have to admit that sometimes I miss those bachelorette days. You have the right idea and attitude about setting up rules that they follow or hit the door. The worse thing I ever did was let people live with me and try to be equal. It doesnt work. People tend to do things differently. This tends to make a big mess. If people come and stay with you and begin knowing the fact that you are the queen of your castle and no one else, there's a better chance of saving relationships between you and your roomy. Good luck and enjoy your solitude. Its a wonderful thing. dl

yeah i set the rules so whoever stays there should follow or they find themseleves in front door waving goodbye hehehe..

i also have rules even to my friends who are just visiting me..

rules includes:

1. no alcoholic drinking
2. no smoking

I think thats the best way to be. I wouldnt put up with the mess your spouse's kids are doing. It's a perfect example of what happens when you let your children run the show. They think they have control in every aspect of his life. I am very sorry for him. Maybe he can learn from you that there is a middle ground. I am so frustrated that we as a society have allowed children to think they can control us. This makes children think they are more mature than they really are. I am glad that someone else believes in compromise. Good luck.dl

Unfortunately, my husband lets his kids do whatever they want because he wants them to like him. I mean, they are after all children of divorced parents. They really milked that whole thing to and he keeps letting them. They're his kids and he's going to have to deal with it down the road. They're "adults" but sure don't know how to act like it.

Thanks for sharing the way things work in your house. Its good to see that you still believe that marriage is a partnership. I dont seem to do that well. I take care of my family on a daily basis. If my family was threatened or hurt in any way, My husband doesnt put up with that. He protects us no matter what. That's why we get along so great he indulges my need to be the caregiver and accepts his role as our protector with pride. I see so many men these days getting caught up in be the King of their castles. I have been there before in other relationships. I can smell a control freak a mile away. YOu demonstrate a healthy relationship from another point of view. Im glad to know there are people out there in healthy relationships. Not everything is meant to be black or white. Sometimes the grey area is the best answer. thanks dl

So true. I worked in the school system for five years and the things I have seen would make your head turn. The schools are so busy trying to save their reputations that so many kids fall thru the cracks. They have taken the authority away from the parents and replaced it with fear. A fear of the children rebelling or not liking the punishment and calling 911. I told my daughter if someone is hurting you, even if it were to be me, dad, family or friend, tell someone. ALso I reminded her that if she lied or did it to get back at an adult who angered her, she may be taken from the family that loves and cares for her. I am upfront and painfully honest with my kids. I dont want them to be victimized and I dont want them to victimize any one. I keep it real and tell them the reality of what would happen if they lied. I also tell them that even if someone says they would hurt us, dont believe it and tell an adult you trust if I or dad am not around. I also volunteer at the school when ever possible. This way I am involved in her education and hope to be on top of any problems that may come no matter how big or small. THanks for enlightening me . dl

What a good son you are. I am sure you are a great man as well. ANy man that admits he is not in control is a man that will do great things. You are honest and today thats a great asset. You will make a great parent. dl

You are very lucky. I am in a similar situation and my daughter trys to run me and my fiance does as well. They both pull me in different directions. I, too, have a daughter that is a blessing. She tells me things that I dont even want to know. I hope we both have the pleasure of keeping things this way until they're married. lol dl

I think back when I was young. My mom had final say in household issues. My dad had final say on financial issues. I appreciate that its different in every family. I guess it depends on what parents are comfortable with. Thanks for responding. dl

I think a mother has a bond from birth. It only makes since for us to look to her as our leader. You mom must be doing a great job to have someone portray her so articulately. thanks for responding dl