My cousin has two kids and wants another, but...

i think the way you think that it can cause a problem may not be a problem at all to her? why think that way in terms of colour? who knows it can be just ok?

Good day... If she can afford to have 3 children who are we to stop or reprimand her? She's legal and the man is also legal so why the hassle?. Is it the age or the color or both? I think that this thread trod more on color and what society may think of it. This is a living proof of racism, I know it's hard but as anyone can read this, hinesty what would one think? What if a situation is this a white male of 39 marries a white female of 21? would anyone would object, just my 1 cent.

I think the fact that she is 21 and wants to have a third child already is a problem. She is not even married yet and is only 21 years old and already has 2 children! Then, the 39 year old is too old for a 21 year old. At least in my opinion. It has nothing to do if he is African American or not. I think the problem here is that she is so young and is thinking of having another child already and with such an older man. What can she have in common with someone who is almost twice her age? Who cares what people think if a woman has 2 children of one race and 1 of another? It is not anyone's business but hers. Look at Heidi Klum - she has a Caucasian daughter from her first marriage and 2 half White, half Black children with her second husband Seal. It is obvious she had 2 fathers for her children, but so what! What business is that of anyone except for hers and his? I don't think it is dangerous for her to be with the man because of the color of his skin, but you know that in society they will most likely be stared at by ignorant people or they might have people say something, but who cares? We all have choices in this life - and they are choices that we have to live with. Have a great day and happy myLotting!!!

Wow where to even start? I note that several people really focused on the age difference of the parties involved. I will just say this now, age is a number. The emotional age of the two parties is really what matters. The compatibility of the two people, how the treat each other, their standards, morals, ethics; these are the things that matter. There is a 19 year difference between my husband and I. I am older than him, by the way. So what? We have been together for nearly 11 years and just celebrated our ninth wedding aniversary. Age counting forward from the year you were born to today, it does not account for life experience nor does it account for joy. I have known twenty year olds who might as well pull up a chair at the old folks retirement table and seventy-five year olds who are still so full of life they can run circles around me. As for the issue of the racial diversity of children in a family, again who cares? So the children will have different fathers. At the end of the day the truth is "father maybe" is one saying that has been in the wind for years for good reason. Families are more than who looks like whom, they are bonds of love and bonds common experience. The children grow together with common bonds of both. They won't care but if the adults around them do they will certainly notice. So should she wait to have another child? Sure she should. It would be better, healthier for her and her other children to solidify the relationship with this man; marry him and form a solid family foundation. Give it a couple of years and then think about another baby. She is young, plenty of time. The question is what is the hurry? Is he a good man? Solid? Moral? Financially stable?

I'd be more worried about the age difference than anything. He's a little too old for her!!!

Hi Power! Now with all due respect I must say this subject tires me. I do not feel the issue is that much of age, but it is the race of the individual. WTF cares if people know that the children have 2 diferent fathers? Mine do. Sometimes it does not work out, you move on.. would I not have another child because I am thinkin"OMG.. people will know they don't have the same faather?" Bullcrap. I think the issue is because he is african american, otherwise it would not have been mentioned... right? My sister has 2 beautiful!!! Boys, and yes they are of mixed races, that does not make them different, he is older than her (my sis by a few years); just like the other post said.. is he nice?, does he love her? Etc.... I think it is a racial issue. Sorry but that's my feelings. Great post, thanks and have a great day!

As she is young, she always looks for an relationship. May be because of the loneliness, she caught up by him. But if she propose to start life with him and it will always leads to another children. none can stop it. So its matter of your cousin marrying or not basically and life will be based on that. here your cousin should think of her young children also.