85 year old dad and his driving
By bmorehouse1
@bmorehouse1 (1028)
United States
August 21, 2008 8:43pm CST
My 85 year old dad seems to think that he can drive anywhere and everywhere as if he doesn't have a care in the world. I think he forgets there are other drivers on the road. He is really careless and as we have been told has narrowly missed having several accidents. The latest one was seen by a Hiway Patrolman. It seems my dad passed a semi truck and cut back in too soon. The semi driver had to slam on his brakes so that he wouldn't run into my dad. He cuts through lanes of traffic in the city, causing people to slam on their brakes and even once ran someone off the road. The thing is he has no clue that he is doing these things. It has come to the point that we are going to have to get him off the road. I guess as long as he passes the test they cannot take his license away from him. My mother is not able to drive because of her eyesight, so that is not an option. They delight in traveling hours away to casinos to gamble. I guess basically the only entertainment they have, according to them. So my mother is telling us that we can't take his keys away, that it will kill him. We argue that he is going to kill someone on the road. My sister and I don't live in the same town as they do so it will be a burden to us to have to get them places. It brings up all sorts of problems. The biggest problem is how to get his keys away from him. I wouldn't have a problem with him driving back and forth to the grocery store. It is a small town. We just don't want him on the hiway. Have any of you ever been faced with this dilemma and if so how did you handle it?
3 people like this
5 responses
@jessigirl116 (848)
• United States
22 Aug 08
Oh, sweetie!! My grandpa is 91 and I still run into him at Wal-Mart. It's nuts. He frequently runs stop signs, cuts people off, speeds or drives too slow. Once he was too far out in the road and got hit by a kid on a skateboard. The kid cut his leg open on my grandpas license plate, and even though it wasn't entirely my grandpas fault, he was really upset and he paid the kids hospital bill. He can't see or hear well, he has people who will chauffeur him wherever he wants to go, but he insists on driving. He claims that we scare him so he doesn't want any of us driving him to and from. He also complains about our driving the whole trip. My mom drove him to the coast and home, he complained the whole way. "You should've gone", "Why are you driving so slow", "Hurry up and pass this guy". All of these complaints seemed to come at times when it was incredibly unsafe to follow his directions. I haven't been in the car with him driving for about 10 years or so.
It seems to be outside the parameters of the DMV to revoke licenses due to age and the inability to see past the front bumper of your car. I think tests should be conducted yearly after we've reached a certain age. Can't pass- no license. I mean motor skills tests, not driving tests. Hearing, vision, reflex.
1 person likes this
@bmorehouse1 (1028)
• United States
22 Aug 08
I agree with you totally. After a certain age everyone should be tested visually, hearing, etc. Thanks for your input!
@lilaclady (28206)
• Australia
22 Aug 08
My dad is gone now but i can remember it was hard for us to try and talk him into giving up the driving as he was having a few little accidents until he had one accident and he just went out and sold his car, it is very hard to ask a person to give up their mobility and independence but sometimes it is the best thing for everyone.
@bmorehouse1 (1028)
• United States
22 Aug 08
I understand that completely. I sure wouldn't want to give up my mobility either, but if I knew that I might be causing an accident I would like to think that I would give up driving. We'll see how this plays out with my dad. Thanks for your response!
1 person likes this
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Aug 08
nope never since i dont know where my dad is and my mom also dont drive and i guess so that you and the rest of the family will be at peace why not give your dad a driver? i know its costly but its only when he goes beyond the town or in a highway..you can share the cost between your bro and sis..@bmorehouse1 (1028)
• United States
22 Aug 08
Thats a nice idea, but he would never go for it. He is VERY stubborn. Not even sure we could find someone to drive them.
@hardluck (375)
• United States
22 Aug 08
My boss man's daddy is 86, and he put a sign on the back of his truck that said, Caution: This truck is being driven by a 86 year old man. Maybe you could put a lot of light on his car so ever one will see him coming, like one of the yellow light pilot cars have on them.
@lira23 (208)
• United States
22 Aug 08
There are certain qualifications that one has to pass. In some states their not allowed to drive over a certain age. I would check into what it is in your state,country or town what have you. Also explain to him what he is doing and that it's dangerous to him and other drivers.
@bmorehouse1 (1028)
• United States
22 Aug 08
We've tried telling him what he is doing, but he just ignores us. In our state they can drive as long as they can pass the test. I don't even know for sure what kind of test that is. I know its not a driving test and my dad has had cataracts for years and still passes - whats with that? (By the way he recently had cataract surgery)
