is it our obligation to give our parents some money coz they sent us to school?
By pinks17
@pinks17 (2192)
Philippines
August 27, 2008 4:40am CST
[i][b]Hello fellow mylotters.
This question just came out my mind while I was cooking.My mom called me and asked my to call my dad bec.she needs money for a check-up.My parents were separated when I was 5 years old and they are still in good terms and they still help each other.
I just felt guilty bec.now that I am working I can't provide my mom some money as a return for all the things she has done for me.I know that it's their obligation to give their children the proper education and shouldn't expect something in return..Well that reasoning applies to some countries.But here in our country we call it debt of gratitude (in our native language "utang na loob").
But do you think once we started working and have a family of our own do we have to give them allowances like it's payback time for them?
I am really guilty right now.I have an expensive rent for the apartment which I share with my boyfriend and a lot of bills to pay and all but I can't help myself for having this pity feeling for my mom.Eventhough I explained to my mom all my expenses that's actually a break-even from my salary she still thinks that I earn a lot bec. I work in a call center and it's one of the highest paying job here in our country but it's not enough for our expensed.sigh.I felt bad right now and sad at the same time.[/b][/i]
1 person likes this
3 responses
@iskayz (5420)
• Philippines
27 Aug 08
Hi there!
Well I know how you feel. I have been in that situation too and its so 
depressing if we're not able to help our parents financially.
Good parents don't ask something in return when they have finished sending their children to school and are now stable. But as good children that we are and like what you said, we should really try to give back that gratitude. It's a choice actually for us children and not an obligation.
Your mom understands your situation I know. But I hope you will be able to make it up to her someday. It will really make her happy and proud of you. It doesn't have to be in big amounts but just what you can share with her is enough. It doesn't even have to be in financial form neither. Maybe buy her something that you know she needs when you have extra money.
Ciao!
Well I know how you feel. I have been in that situation too and its so depressing if we're not able to help our parents financially.
Good parents don't ask something in return when they have finished sending their children to school and are now stable. But as good children that we are and like what you said, we should really try to give back that gratitude. It's a choice actually for us children and not an obligation.
Your mom understands your situation I know. But I hope you will be able to make it up to her someday. It will really make her happy and proud of you. It doesn't have to be in big amounts but just what you can share with her is enough. It doesn't even have to be in financial form neither. Maybe buy her something that you know she needs when you have extra money.
Ciao!@pinks17 (2192)
• Philippines
27 Aug 08
[i][b]Hi iskayz.
That's why if she asks some favors that is not monetary I make it a point that I will do it for her in that case I know I was able to help her.I know also that she needs money to help my sister who has a family already and does not earn that much.See the sacrifice our parents do.If they can look for a money and one of her children needs financial support up to the last peso in her wallet she will give to her children.And here I am again...feeling guilty.
I am counting more filipinos to answer this topic.Because it's part of our culture and in some countries they don't have this kind of behavior with regard to helping their parents.
Have a nice day iskayz.
pinksBEE [/b][/i]
That's why if she asks some favors that is not monetary I make it a point that I will do it for her in that case I know I was able to help her.I know also that she needs money to help my sister who has a family already and does not earn that much.See the sacrifice our parents do.If they can look for a money and one of her children needs financial support up to the last peso in her wallet she will give to her children.And here I am again...feeling guilty.
I am counting more filipinos to answer this topic.Because it's part of our culture and in some countries they don't have this kind of behavior with regard to helping their parents.
Have a nice day iskayz.
pinksBEE [/b][/i]
@fedge098 (1330)
• Philippines
27 Aug 08
Are you a Filipino? Yes? I think its part of our culture. We are morally obliged to support our parents, depending on their needs, in your case - financially. I think it is proper to think that in one way or another we should give them support in exchange for what they have done for us when we were still kids and fully depending on them.
One time in college, in our philosophy class, I heard my professor mentioned that as children, "we do not owe anything to our parents as they are obliged to take care of us, without expecting anything in return. We do not have to pay them when we become able to support ourselves." This is contradicting to what Filipino culture is, but I guess it all depends on what you believe in.
I suggest you listen to your heart and I'm pretty sure its in favor of your parents. They were there when we needed them, I guess its time we get there when they need us now. Whatever their situation is...
1 person likes this
@pinks17 (2192)
• Philippines
27 Aug 08
[i][b]OMG I think I am going to cry now.
Yup we live in the same country.I feel really bad right now.It's probably a good filipino culture that by nature we are helpful and we always think of your own flesh and bloods needs before ourselves but again...what I am earning right now is just right for all my expenses.And I am really sad to hear that my mom is having this problem when the time that she was a bit young she earns a lot and provided everything I needed under the sun as in anything regardless how much I need even if it's NOT REALLY NEEDED and if it's just for my pleasure which she is not aware of.
Now I can't give her anything.OMG I really want to cry right now.I am sorry I got emotional and I believe with this topic I started a lot of filipinos or at least some of our fellowmen will react to my discussion.[/b][/i]
@dong1970 (1572)
• Philippines
27 Aug 08
Hi there,It's not an obligation to give our parents some money,it's up to you if you want.But if you value your parents and you know that they need your help in terms of money,then you give some money.I make sure also that if i have my extra money i use to send money to my parents.The most important is you know the financial status of your parents.Good Day
1 person likes this
@pinks17 (2192)
• Philippines
27 Aug 08
[i][b]Hi dong1970.
Well that is if I have an extra money.The problem is that it's just a break-even for my salary and my boyfriends salary combined.As much as I want to give them money I don't have an extra and it is just enough for my expenses.I am not fond of rendering overtime at the office bec.I myself has a problem sleeping and it's really tiring to work in our industry.It requires a lot of rest and we need it bec.it's stressful as well.
I don't want to break down the expenses for my mom bec. it's not good to hear that it's like killing them slowly but it's not nice also to say that I don't have a money.
It is really hard.Esp.if your parent will start making stories how they worked hard when I was still studying and that they did everything just to give me what I need.sigh[/b][/i]
Well that is if I have an extra money.The problem is that it's just a break-even for my salary and my boyfriends salary combined.As much as I want to give them money I don't have an extra and it is just enough for my expenses.I am not fond of rendering overtime at the office bec.I myself has a problem sleeping and it's really tiring to work in our industry.It requires a lot of rest and we need it bec.it's stressful as well.
I don't want to break down the expenses for my mom bec. it's not good to hear that it's like killing them slowly but it's not nice also to say that I don't have a money.
It is really hard.Esp.if your parent will start making stories how they worked hard when I was still studying and that they did everything just to give me what I need.sigh[/b][/i]