Does your spouse get angry if you do something without them?
By my2boys
@my2boys (821)
United States
September 17, 2008 7:39am CST
My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years and married for 4. We have two sons a 4 1/2 year old and a 5 week old. My husband works 13+ hours a day 7 days a week. I do not work. I normally just take my oldest son to pre-k and come back home and do not go anywhere else. My husband used to get mad if i went anywhere without him, even the grocery store. I thought that he had grown up a bit and gotten over that but we only had one car for a while so I didnt have a way of going while he was at work anyway. A couple of weeks ago a cartoon character that my son loves was coming to a restaraunt to take pictures with kids and stuff. I told my husband about it a few days before and told him that I was going to take our son. So I did. Whenever he came home and found out we went he got so mad and we had a huge argument. Am I wrong? I mean it wasnt like i was going out with my friends to enjoy MYself or anything. I was taking OUR son to do something he really wanted to do and it was only for a few minutes. I dont understand.
5 responses
@danielle101282 (437)
• United States
17 Sep 08
First of all, even if you did go out with your friends, he shouldn't get mad. I have been with my husband for 7 years and married for 5. We have know each other for 15 years. I go most everywhere by myself. You told him a few days in advance, why didn't he say his concern then? I mean have you ever given him reason not to trust you? If not, then this needs to be fixed. You are an individual, just cause you got married doesn't mean you give up that. I would say this is a bad situation and you need it fixed, soon. Try talking about it calmly, and see where it takes you.
1 person likes this
@my2boys (821)
• United States
17 Sep 08
No. I have never given him a reason not to trust me. He has been this way ever since we got married. I have tried talking about it. But I think he is just selfish and controlling. And me going out with friends is just out of the question which probably explains why I barely have any friends anymore.
@danielle101282 (437)
• United States
17 Sep 08
See now that is ridicules. I can't stand controlling people, life and especaily marriage is a two way street it takes love, understanding, and trust. does he go out by himself with his friends?
1 person likes this
@sunsham68 (1376)
• India
31 Oct 08
I do get upset if my spouse does something without me, but not the way you have described above, for me, it is if he does something we wanted to do together, for eg. try out a new restaurant/watch a movie, etc. As to your case, you should talk to your spouse when he is in a good mood to find out why he reacted that way and clear the issue. Sometimes our loved ones' behavior stems from the strangest reasons and the earlier they are aired out and worked out, the better.Good luck!
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
29 Oct 08
It sounds like he has some control issues. My Hubby and I have been together 8 years and married 2 and he is housebound so when I go out it's usually without him. He never gets mad about it unless I'm gone till real late and then it's more worried then mad. Personally I'd talk to your husband about getting some counceling or something...getting mad b/c you took your son to see a cartoon character is beyond being annoyed...that's more along obsessive behavior. Good luck and I hope it gets better for you.
[b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~
**AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]
1 person likes this
@ersmommy1 (12587)
• United States
29 Oct 08
No you aren't wrong. My hubby knows and expects that I will go out. Heck sometimes he even schedules his time to be available to watch our daughter so I can go out. I think there may be some anger management issues, maybe control issues. You should be able to enjoy yourself and not feel punished for it.I hope it doesn't harm your self confidence.
1 person likes this
@shanemre (357)
• Saudi Arabia
17 Sep 08
No, he doesn't get mad. Because I make sure that I tell him everything. Even if he is not at home, I make sure I will give him a call or I will send him sms, and before I do it, i will wait for his response if it is ok or not. In this way, he an be sure that I am safe. Also, I am doing like this because I want him to do the same. In my case, I am the one getting mad, when he did something or went somewhere without me. Not because I don't trust him, but because I want to do most of the things with him, especially when we both have the time and chance to do it.
