Update on my Grandmothers funeral
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
United States
September 24, 2008 1:22am CST
My beloved Granny died over a week ago on Sunday September 13th. It took my sister until Thursday to pick out a funeral home. Poor Granny's body sat in the hospital morgue for four days. I was upset to say the least. I feel my sister is not showing Granny the respect she deserves.
Then my sister cannot come to California to have a funeral until November. She does not have time! I know she has time but either cannot stand the thought of burying our Granny or just emotionally shut down. Granny has a burial insurance and a plot already. She has paid for everything so what's the big deal.
Granny is being cremated and will be shipped from Washington State to CA and then be buried by her husband's ashes. I asked my sister if I can be notified when Granny's ashes got to Merced so I can be at the grave site to bury her. Granny is going to be laid to rest by her husband in the Veterans cemetery in Santa Nella. I will at least be able to show my Granny the respect that is due her.
I have several friends who knre and loved Granny as well so we are going to have a funeral of our own. We will get together when she is buried and say our own prayers and then come back to my house to celebrate Granny's long life.
I do not care if my sister gets mad or what because I am so upset that she is not showing Granny the respect she deserved. My sister resented having to take care of Granny even to the day she died. The day Granny died Deena was going to sit down to dinner when the hospital called and said that it was over. Deena called me and said "She was always interrupting my plans, even in death she interrupted my dinner."
I will tell you I am upset that my Beloved Granny died, and I am so upset at my sister. My sister has all of Granny's funds and she had a lot so I may get some. I am not saying anything because if I make my sister mad, I will not get my inheritance. I know this because I know my sister, I also know everything is in my sister's name so no matter what Granny wanted to do with the money my sister has total control over it. Oh well I loved Granny for who she was and not the money she had.
What do you think? Do you think I should just let Granny's ashes be buried alone? Do you think I should not say anything to my sister? What would you do in my shoes?
2 responses
@deedeehall (1143)
• United States
14 Nov 08
yea this is all sad they really need to get things done and let that poor lady rest in peace.
1 person likes this
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
15 Nov 08
I feel better now that I had a chance to say good by to her. She will be buried this next week. I will got when the new marker is in place.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
24 Sep 08
Oh tea! I know how much your Granny meant to you and I know
that your feelings were very real and I hurt for you. I
think that your sister is selfish and self-centered and
her behavior is downright discusting. It's too bad your
Granny didn't see her for what she was and left all the
money to her! Quite frankly if I were in your shoes I don't
think that I would have been able to hold my tongue! I
think that your sister deserves to be told off! I know
that you are trying so hard to be the good person that you
are, but how dare she put off burying your Grandmother
until she has time in November! That's just downright
disgraceful! The woman left her an inheritence for God's
sake! I don't know how no one else in the family has not
said anything to your sister about how selfish she's being.
I know it's really hard for you and I feel so bad because
I know that you are hurting about your Granny, but your
sister needs to be put in her place by someone! I know
that you don't want to make her angry because you're afraid
of what she might do. You have to think about this very
seriously and make the choice that you feel is the right
thing for you. If you need to talk tea, I'm here for you.
Your friend, Opal
1 person likes this
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
24 Sep 08
Thanks my friend. My parents including Granny thought my sister walked on water. They all give her everything she wanted. She got a horse for her birthday and my twin and I where told there was no money by the time it was our birthday. Which is in November. If we got something we go a lecture of "We spend the same amount of money on your older sister as we do you, but since it is your fault you are twins you have to share the gift." Which was always a lie, because most of the time we got crap for our b-days and she got good stuff.
Don't even get me started for Christmas, that was even worst. My family including Granny would always say "Poor ----) her name. So she was raised up believing she was the smartest, most beautiful, and such person.
When Granny got sick she made a financial deal with my sister to take and that included taking care of her. Well my sister agreed because she thought it would be all roses and candy and Granny would baby sit her son.
I wanted to badly to take care of Granny but I was and still am taking care of MOM (Granny's) daughter, I am disabled and could not. I did fly up to Washington a three times to help out with Granny. (But that does not count)
My sisters friends even have the saying (Poor ----) no one has ever said that about me. I guess you can tell I have some jealously issues.
I am the type of person that will keep my mouth shut to save peace because growing up we has some much tension in our lives I cannot stand it. I have to continue to deal with mom who is a pain in the butt and I have to fight with her a lot just to survive. That's another long story.
So now my sister is sitting up in Washington, she will continue with her life. She has not even put Granny's mobile home on the market. I am thinking I need to have one of my family members drive me up there and help here get this mobile home sold. It will only get run downed by sitting empty. Granny has not lived in her home for a year now. I went up in July to help her get the mobile ready and she still has not gotten that done. She continues to pay space rent monthly out of Granny's money for an empty home. I think she needs a good kick in the pants.
I felt like everyone has always bailed my sister out that is why I did not max my credit cards out and fly up there to do this for her. I felt she is getting paid for the job now do it! I obviously was wrong and she does need help.


