when and how to tell a friend to back off.
By ladybug565
@ladybug565 (2216)
United States
November 6, 2008 12:41pm CST
I have a friend, she has been a blessing as far as helping me to transport my girls back and forth 45 minutes each way almost every weekend and for that I am eternally gratefull. however, now she thinks she can tell me and my 20 year old daughter who to have in our house, what to do with our children etc. she does not live with us she is a close neighbor and is not a baby sitter for my children. She had an issue with someonee my 14 yr old and 20 year old daughters were talking to so she walked up to my 20 year old, pulled grabbed a handfull of her hair, pulled it and said now let me tell you something and proceded to yell at her for talking to this person that is 17. My 20 year old did not argue with her although she really wanted to. I dont want to sever the friendship but I do want to let her know that she is crossing the linee. What I need help with is how to do so without hurting her feelings or anything.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
9 Nov 08
I would talk to her in a calm manner. I would tell her that it is not OK to treat my children that way. The fact that she has an issue with someone does not mean that my family has a poroblem with that person too.
© ronaldinu 2008
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
10 Nov 08
I did tell her that. I also told her I judge people for myself and those kids behave when they are at my house so I dont have a problem with them. I would rather them at my house so I know what they are doing. she was mad at me but she was better tonight.
@Polly1 (12644)
• United States
7 Nov 08
Oh my, I m not sure what I would do. That takes a lot of nerve to do that to someone, who the heck does she think she is. Your daughter is grown and its non of her business anyway. If she had some concerns about this other person, there are better ways of dealing with it. Good luck on solving this, she crossed the line big time.
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
7 Nov 08
Thanks. I think she crossed the line big time. She is supposed to be my friend.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
6 Nov 08
Oh wow, all I can think of is if it was my 19 y/o, she would bite their head off..(I am not kidding...)
I am assuming you really need this person help in transportation? If that is the case, then I would politely ask her to please not to yell at your children and if she has a problem to take it to you..And hopefully she is a good enough friend to do what you ask, if not, then I don't know what to tell you..
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
7 Nov 08
I did really need her help with transporting my 2 younger daughters (14& 16) but my 14 year old is moving in with me tomorow night and so I wont need her that much. She was mad because I got someone else to get my daughter tomorow. My daughter wo is 20 said if this lady doesnt back off she is going to end up hitting her. Thanks for your advice.
@psspurgeon1 (1109)
• United States
6 Nov 08
Well ladybug, I would have to say that nomatter who it was that put such a violent hand on my child, weather family, friend, or especially neighbor, and no matter how much help she is, I would have to smack her in her face for laying such a b*tchy hand on my child. There is nobody except the mother/father/caregiver of a child that has a right to give any sort of corporal punishment, let alone a NEIGHBOR performing such an act. There is a complete overstep of the boundries, and i have a feeling that if she is not called out on this in a confrontational manner (and I am NOT a confrontational person), that she will continue to act on your behalf and abuse your children. I wish you all the luck with this.
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
6 Nov 08
Thank you, I think you may be right. I am surprised that my daughter didnt hit her. I know that my 14 year old probably would have. I plan on having words with her but I want to try it in a nice way first. But this incident was the last straw so it will probably end up in a big fight between us.
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
7 Nov 08
I think you are right. I think that I shouldnt worry about hurting her feelings if she is acting this way to my children she isent as good of a friend as I thought.
