Pain Med Addiction

Are you afraid of becoming addicted to pain meds if you suffer from chronic pain? Do you follow you Dr.'s directions on how to take the meds or do you cut back on what you are allowed to take because you are afraid that you will become addicted? Do you end up in the hospital because the pain has become so bad that what you have at home isn't doing the job?

I can answer all the questions in the following ways.

Yes, I cut back, and yes. I've been told that I am only causing myself more pain then is necessary and it's probably true. I am afraid of becoming addicted so I try to deal with the pain for as long as I can. I don't like the way I feel after taking the meds the way the Dr. has perscribed. I am always sleepy, I can't think straight, I forget things. Sometimes I'd rather bite the bullet just a little longer than waste my day in bed, staring bleary-eyed at TV. I know that I will always be in pain at some level or the other, but trying to keep active or at least for me, what is active, is better than being doped up.

The one thing that I do know that I have only caused myself is that the dosage on the pain meds have been increased. I was going to the hospital more than usually for the pain. There I get dilaudid by IV. The meds that I take at home were increased to keep me from having to be admitted until the pain is back under control.

Anyone else going through this or am I really just being stupid?

DCMerkle