When you greet someone with "How are you?" do you wait for a response?
@capirani (2817)
United States
December 28, 2008 1:32pm CST
My call center job has opened my eyes to a lot of interesting and not so interesting behaviors people have. One that can irritate me somewhat is when I answer a call and the caller says "Hello, how are you today?" but then never waits for a response from me. Amazingly this happens much more than you would think. Some days it happens more often than the calls where they do wait for a response.
It sounds very polite to ask "How are you?" but just how polite is it if you do not wait for the other person to answer? Most of these people tend to just jump right into their request or question that they called about without even barely taking a breath from when they asked the how are you question.
One time, after most of a shift of getting calls just like that, a lady called and asked "How are you?" and I didn't say anything. It took me a few moments to realize that she was waiting on a response. By the time I realized it, she was criticizing me for not saying anything back to her. It wasn't that I was trying to be rude to her by ignoring her. It was that somehow I was in some kind of shock that she actually wanted a response after having a day full of callers who didn't want a response. Of course it was too late to do anything to save my butt in this case. I had to take the criticism as given because she was right. I had not responded and it sounded rude on my part.
So, if you ask the question "How are you?" which person are you? The one who just jumps right in with the purpose for your call, or the one who waits for a response?
Do you think it is really being polite to ask the question if you are not going to wait for the response?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@AnakSuNamun (2084)
• United States
28 Dec 08
Hi,how are you today? 
I'm the one who waits for response(usually). It doesn't take too long and otherwise what's the point of asking. I know what you talking about,I've seen these people as well.I don't think that theyr'e trying to be rude,to them it's just a way of saying Hi with no response needed. When it comes to to people I don't really know, I seldom ask them this question. Most probably they won't answer and neither of us really cares about other's physical/mental health 
. If something was really wrong,it would probably be quite visible.
How about people that say "How are you?I'm good" without waiting for your counter question? 
I'm the one who waits for response(usually). It doesn't take too long and otherwise what's the point of asking. I know what you talking about,I've seen these people as well.I don't think that theyr'e trying to be rude,to them it's just a way of saying Hi with no response needed. When it comes to to people I don't really know, I seldom ask them this question. Most probably they won't answer and neither of us really cares about other's physical/mental health . If something was really wrong,it would probably be quite visible.
How about people that say "How are you?I'm good" without waiting for your counter question? @capirani (2817)
• United States
29 Dec 08
I, too, think they think it is just a way of saying hello but that they don't think about what they are saying. It has become so automatic to many of them, I think, that they say it without realizing they have asked a question. But then, if you think about that, isn't it rude if they have allowed it to become such a habit that they do not even think about what they are saying? Are they too busy with everything else in their lives that they don't have time to let the other person respond? LOL Oh well, that's just how things are with people.
@AnakSuNamun (2084)
• United States
30 Dec 08
Yeah,worrying too much about it would only give us heartburn and grey hair...
@liisafiat (659)
• Latvia
28 Dec 08
- "How are You?"
- "I am fine, how are You?"
- "Also fine"
- "Great. How can I help You to feel even better?"
Jobs like Yours are great and those situations that You experience at the work like this will stay in Your mind forever, and will continue to amaze You and the people that You know even many years later.
I think it is not polite to ask question and not to wait response. And it is not polite not to answer to a question.
If person asks You a question but does not give You a chance to answer it: You are left with a feeling of being impolite. 
And that is so sad!
Jobs like Yours are great and those situations that You experience at the work like this will stay in Your mind forever, and will continue to amaze You and the people that You know even many years later.
I think it is not polite to ask question and not to wait response. And it is not polite not to answer to a question.
If person asks You a question but does not give You a chance to answer it: You are left with a feeling of being impolite. And that is so sad!@capirani (2817)
• United States
29 Dec 08
Yes, I really felt bad and like I had a big shoe in my mouth with the lady who did wait for a response when I was not expecting her to wait. By the time I realized she was waiting, she had gotten upset that I did not respond. No way to get out of that mess.
