Does Tough Love work?
By jess368
@jess368 (3368)
United States
February 7, 2009 12:41pm CST
Have you ever needed to use tough love on a loved one, whether they were a spouse, child, significant other, parent, etc?
Tough love is an expression used when someone treats another person harshly or sternly with the intent to help them in the long run.
In most uses, there must be some actual love or feeling of affection behind the harsh or stern treatment to be defined as tough love. For example, genuinely concerned parents refusing to support their drug-addicted child financially until he or she enters drug rehabilitation would be said to be practicing tough love.
So, what are your thoughts on tough love? How have you used tough love, and what were the outcomes?
2 people like this
3 responses
@TheGreatWhiteBuffalo (4822)
• United States
9 Feb 09
Ouch, are you using tough love on hubby?
Getting close to the three year mark, you have to understand that using tough love only works as you defined it, the other person has to know that the punishment is the result of bad behavior.
Otherwise tough love is another form of abuse, and certainly not a form of love.
Really GOD doesn't punish the innocent does GOD?
The other question to back that up is what does GOD require of us?
You know I want to see you and hubby both happy and healthy...
Good Luck,
Sincerely,
Gary
1 person likes this
@jess368 (3368)
• United States
10 Feb 09
He's my boyfriend. Not that we haven't talked about marriage, but he still has his flaws that I am not ready to 100% commit to.
But yes, he needed a dose of tough love, and he got it. He also expressed an eye opening experience, and I certainly hope it sticks. I would love to one day marry him, but I need him He is definitely not innocent, and he understands that it was the result of a self destructing behavior.
God forgives all of the time, and only has one punishment (Hell), and that by definition would be tough love (a result of continuous bad behavior)
Thank you for your kind words, I have not given up on happiness.
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
8 Feb 09
I think it is stupid to even think of love in those terms. I think that those who practice it are just mean people. They must think that the other person is stupid or something. Cheers!!
@TheGreatWhiteBuffalo (4822)
• United States
9 Feb 09
I think underdogtoo, has a comprehension problem, you qualified this discussion with this line in the third paragraph, "In most uses, there must be some actual love or feeling of affection behind the harsh or stern treatment to be defined as tough love." This respondent has not even considered this sentence and only trolled your discussion for a payment and not to consider your point at all.
Can we use tough love on stupid people?
1 person likes this
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
I applaud the great white buffalo for his astute observation. He seems to forget that a discussion is open to all opinions, or has he defined a new rule? Using labels, i.e. "trolled" does not qualify for a brilliant discussion. Comprehension is not the issue here. I do not subscribe to the notion of tough love and I do not have to waste a lot of words in order to express that. I do not like to repeat and repeat and repeat in order to buttress an opinion. Cheers!!!
