And I just stared at the computer monitor the next thing I knew...
@taki_takaishi (1279)
Philippines
March 27, 2009 8:22am CST
Tears came out...
Checking myLot is what I do always. It has been a regular thing for me. And I suddenly remembered that I have to make a comment in my friend's friendster. Then I visited her friendster account, and to find out her status was she was in a relationship. I was like, this is a joke, and checked the suitor's friendster to find out it is true.
I was like, grip it Taki, don't mind, just do what you do best, finish and show to her that you are better. I was holding it off, I have to stay strong and then I realized, I couldn't hold it much longer and I suddenly cried. For a person like who keeps everything inside suddenly cried out of the blue.
I love her so much. I told her I will be waiting. I guess, I really have to wait a little longer and hold on or I don't know. The suitor, was a very close friend of mine. But, I ended our friendship, it is not because of her, but the trust, the promise he made to me. He will never court her. I believed in him. He was there when I cried, he knew everything, and now... I FELT BETRAYED... I was betrayed as a friend. But I couldn't do anything. I am out of my league. I defended him from my other friends that he couldn't keep the promise, but I told them, he will do it, I believe in him, and now, I don't know what I will face to my friends whom I told that I believe in him. It is like, I believed too much and blinded that there are friends of mine who where there for me. Now, I don't know how to apologize to my friends. Hay.
I feel so useless, pathetic and worse, people would start calling me a loser. True, I love her and I waited for her, I don't know how long but I am going to wait. But of course, it won't interfere my personal life like my studies. Darn. Why am I being so damn martyr....
Sorry. For a person like me blurting this out. I mean, I guess, I don't have anyone to run to right now. So, the best next thing is to write it down. Sorry for this.
2 responses
@animestan (321)
• Canada
28 Mar 09
Dude, just take it slow, and calm down. Not your fault at all. People make mistakes and are careless when in love (talkin bout your friend) Not to say that this is an excuse, he should have controlled himself.And if you guys promised each other for a long time ago, people change, their ideas, and whatnot.
If he knew that you like her there would probably be 2 emotions coming from him (regardless of the promise or not, those are just words)
1. Jealousy
2. Happiness And from these 2 emotions, there are 2 types of each
Jealousy A. Your friend (thinking to himself): Oh you like her, hmm i better get a girlfriend myself
Jealousy B. Your Friend (thinking to himself): Oh you like her, i like her too, we'll compete
Happieness A. Your Friend: Congrats on liking her (or w.e) hope you 2 will be happy together
Happieness B. Young Friend: congrats on liking her, so stop bothering me with your problems (although this is not likely)
@personaave (598)
• Philippines
28 Mar 09
Okay, here's the thing. I'm not going to say 'I know how you feel' 'coz I don't. I'm not saying that my life has always been a bed of roses. Of course, I've experienced heartaches, too, but that's a different story. Anyway, I know that you will get over that feeling, too, and I hope that it would be sooner than later. There really are people whom we call or even consider friends, but in situations like this, somehow, would turn their backs or 'betray' you. I guess you just have to think about something else, think 'happy thoughts', to lessen the pain. Since you mentioned that you're still studying, why not focus on your studies a bit more and surround yourselves with other friends and people who love you, like your family.
There's nothing wrong in venting it all out in a forum or discussion board like this because there are people who has or is experiencing the same situation as yours, and could help you in some ways or could just listen to you, and not judge you in any way. Besides, we don't personally know each other here, and that's one of the good things about this. No one will call you 'loser', and hey, I don't use that word and I don't believe in it either.
Going back to your situation, if you think that you can still wait for her, go on ahead. It's always your choice. No matter how many people give you advices, in the end, it'll always be you who should decide for yourself. Just make sure that you'll be able to handle any decisions you make.
Enjoy life, taki. Take care and God bless. ^_^
