I need Advice how to finally talk to an ex Mother N Law???
By BlueAngelRS
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
Canada
May 3, 2009 11:59am CST
I care about my Ex Mother N Law don't get me wrong! She was there when I needed her to come and care for my kids when I ended up really sick with a gull bladder attack! I know that my 16 year old feels really uncomfy around her because she has a tendancy to treat him differently...My Son has gone through a bed wetting problems she uses harsh words and makes him feel like crap for that...
She means well with advice she gives it's just it's not asked for nor does she make it sound like advice! She tells you how she wants it done makes me feel like crap with potty training my daughter...I've been diagnosed depressed with lifes events and I admit my house is not always tip top shape and I do my ATMOST best to keep on top of the cleaning...I plan on cleaning this week AGAIN see how long this lasts with a 2 year old and a 16 year old lol! Anyways my Dad was visiting me at the hospital then pipes up and says My Mother N Law EX to be exact has the nerve to say to my Dad you better get at her to keep this house clean blah blah blah! WELL ummm ok coming from her ya whatever! I've been down to her place many times and let me tell you she is onnnnnne to talk...She has a back back and that is her reason...My Best friend and I have done our share to keep her house clean so she has alot of nerve!
Not too mention her own son is one of the lifes events that has me in a state of depression don't get me wrong guys I'm so working through that and getting better and my 6 weeks of healing is almost up and I'm feeling really great now to get the sleeping under control I will be tip top!
How would you try and talk to her? Write a letter? Or just try and speak to her on the phone! This woman is known to blow things out of context! How would you handle it?
2 people like this
2 responses
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
3 May 09
Oh wow another tough one ... your really picking my brain today! I know your ex mother in law personally and I know and have experienced her harsh words first hand so I can understand where you came from. Seeing as she does have a tendancy to "fly off the handle" when confronted maybe it would be best to mail the letter you wrote. When you read it to me it sounded awesome ... short, sweet, and to the point! Also her not calling on her grandson's 16th birthday was pretty cold! She had the time to write it on Facebook but couldn't take that time to quickly call?
1 person likes this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
3 May 09
I can completly agree with that 100% if I don't put a stop it will never end!
1 person likes this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
4 May 09
Very true! I know she will be calling soon though to find out about Johanna's birtbday plns! So if you are going to mail it, you might want to do it soon! Just a suggestion!
1 person likes this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
4 May 09
Very good point I'm going to rewrite it out and mail it as it still in rough draft terms!
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@Citychic (4067)
• United States
22 May 09
Hello BlueAngelRS,
It sound like you've really got your hands full over there dealing with children as well as your mother in law-Ex. So first of all you probably already know that there are only a few people in the world that can really get along with their mother in law. I can't really go all into detail over it but I will say, that there seems to be lack of communication and also a lack of respect. Your mother in law ex needs to learn how to take a back seat and try to be more of an observer. Sometimes they are just trying to be helpful but they don't know how. So perhaps you should try to sit down with her over a cup of hot chocolate or coffee and just tell her from your heart how she make you feel. You could start by telling her that you know that she mean well ( this is giving her the benefit of the doubt)but you would prefer for her to let you handle your own business. Tell her that there is no excuse for her to be mistreating your son. She has a bad back and she is probably angry alot b/c dealing with pain isn't an easy thing but she don't need to be trying to take it out on you or your children.......... Hope this helps......wishing you all the best. happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
25 May 09
That sounds like a great idea...I do want to have a talk with her and I do know she means well...But at the same time I remember trying to talk with my ex husband over things and he would give the same responses or act the same as his mother now i certainly see where he gets it from...She now knows that if we cannot come to an understanding that I will just have to stop the visits..Thanks for your response!
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
3 Jun 09
She came this past Sunday and surprisly she kept her comments about my kids to a halt...But of course while complimenting me about the house had to throw something in there but I let it bounce of me like a rubber ball...LOL...I'm trying not to worry about it I have spoke with my lawyer and I know what my rights are and he has informed me that if she petitions me to contact him immediatly!
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
26 May 09
Hello BlueAngel, thanks for the response. I wouldn't blame you not one bit if you decided to cut of the relationship with your mom in law. If people don't give us the respect that we deserve we have every right to cut the friendship off. Hopefully she will straighten up before it's too late. Remember the apple don't fall far from the tree, if the family is messed up the offspring will most likely be messed up too. Have a good day dear friend and try not to worry about it.
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