What do you think of people who suffer from self pitty?  |
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|  There is a certain friend in my life who always complains about her life and the things that go wrong for her. She never sees the good in any situation and it seems like she is always looking for someone to feel sorry for her. She was not always like this and I have tried to be an understanding good friend, but she is just too much right now! Its like that saying...Misery loves company! I swear I am in ia bad mood after I see or talk to her for more than 5 minutes. There is this country song that I want to play for her soooo bad "Sounds like life to me" by Darryl Worley. If you never heard it, you should look it up. That song reminds me of her. What do you all think? And do you know someone like this?
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1.  daneg33 (1005)
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3 years ago
| |  I know it sounds awful, but those types of people will only drag you down. Life is way too short to surround yourself with people like that. The best thing to do is to not waste any more of your positive energy on this person because it seems she is too caught up in her own self pity to care anyway. Move on with your life and hang around with happier people. Life is way too short to suffer in such a miserable friendship. Honestly. I had a friend like that, and I just stopped phoning her. Eventually we lost touch. I don't even think about her anymore. I am happy that I don't have to listen to her blather on about her problems. A true friendship is a two way street. It's not all about you, nor is it all about your friend. You each take a turn listening to the other and you work together to sort through things. People such as this person drain your energy and your spirit.
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| tabsnlos (262)
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3 years ago
| | Thanks for your input=) I do get drained from her sometimes.. Ehh! But I still wouldn't want her out of my life. She is a good person outside of her own problems. Hopefully she will snap out of that, but who knows. Thanks again! | | | |
| tabsnlos (262)
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3 years ago
| | Ooops! Its not pitty...its PITY...My bad people! | | | |
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| tabsnlos (262)
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3 years ago
| | I'll give that a try. Thanks! | | | |
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| 3. simplyshawn (440)
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3 years ago
| |  That is exactly why I try to surround myself with people who are positive, like to do things and can put up with me. I really do have a hard time looking at the good side of things. I try, but it's a lot of work for me. That's why my husband is a really funny guy. I need him to keep me laughing and I need him to get me out of the house once in a while.
Don't judge me completely, I do know how to have a good time, but in normal everyday life it's hard for me to keep looking up!
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| tabsnlos (262)
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3 years ago
| | When I feel like that, I remind myself that things could be worse =) We all have our moments right? | | | |
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4.  robert67 (1340)
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3 years ago
| |  i think it depends.
sometimes a person has so much bad luck in life that self pity is only natural.
however most people use self pity to gain sympathy from others and to get attention. i believe these people need to look around them and realise they are not the only person with problems. there is always someone, somewhere far worse off than yourself.
i know at least three people who are forever moaning about their latest misfortune or illness, i have to force myself to be polite to these people.
generally self pity does annoy me but as i said before, in extreme cases it is understandable.
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| tabsnlos (262)
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3 years ago
| | Yes I see your point. This person really doesn't have it that bad at all. I know people who have it worse then she does and they can still keep a smile on there face and keep pushing forward.=) thanks for your response! | | | |
| olydove (565)
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3 years ago
| |  I agree with robert completely on this. Sometimes some people just have terrible luck and it comes naturally but then there are the others like your friend and my Mother whom I live with that constantly have to have something wrong with them and if there isn't something wrong my mom will almost go out of her way to find something wrong with her or her life to complain about.
The only way I have made my mother realize that I am not going to wallow in it with her, or listen to her gripe about stuff that she brings on herself by the choices she makes is I just tell her the truth.
Yup better believe it the cold hard truth and by lord it took me a long time and a lot of courage to stop saying " gosh mom that's terrible " now I say " Well mom your leg hurts because...." or her latest thing is she's been talking to this guy online and they met in person even dated for awhile, well supposedly she has decided she doesn't want to be with him anymore because she has caught him in a few serious lies.. yet she still talks to him, acts like everything is ok even though she supposedly broke up with him right? So the other day she started to tell me how she caught him in another lie and this and that and I interrupted her and I said " Mom, look,. you supposedly broke up with him, you still continue to talk to him and see him when you have the option to put him on ignore and leave it be. YOU CONTINUE THE WHOLE THING so as long as you continue to talk with him and act like everything is ok I don't want to hear you complain about him because you are making the choice to keep that door open."
Believe it or not once I started pointing things out to her like that the pity pot almost completely dried up.
I have found not only with my mother but with others as well as long as you sit there and listen to them and even pretend to feel sorry for them it only gets worse. Now if it's someone who actually has a problem and needs to be listened to that's a whole different story,.. but with these types of situations the best thing you can do is point out to them what it is that's keeping them in that situation and until they are ready to fix the problem they need to quit whining.
I'm sorry if that sounds rude but it is the only way aside of never speaking to them again.
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