Living son

I'm not sure I understand exactly what you're trying to say here, so forgive me if I'm making incorrect assumptions.

It sounds to me as if you don't feel comfortable with the gender roles you've been assigned based on your physical gender. While it can be hard to rebel against such old practices, it might be the only hing that will make you content with being yourself. You're no less a man because you like, say, baking and ballet dancing.

Or is it being a man ín general you don't feel comfortable with? Are you saying you're really a woman on the inside? If so, there are ways to correct your anatomy so that you're a woman both on the outside as well as on the inside.