|  I know that myLot is predominantly used by members from the USA but also has a global community, and felt that some people may have heard some peculiar news stories coming from 'the Mother of all Parliaments' and might wish to hear a potted history of the current political situation in Britain. I am writing this post as quickly as possible and hope to keep it 100% accurate, though by the time I click on the 'start discussion' button several more politicians may have resigned.
Firstly, I should explain that we have a wonderful 5 levels of elected/governing (2 aren't elected) bureaucracy within England, and a simply magnificent 6 levels in Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales. (I shalln't even try to explain the political, legal and business systems in place on the Isle of Man [the oldest continuously serving democratic parliament in the world], Jersey, Guernsey and Sark [Channel Islands with their own parliaments, Sark was until last year still a feudal government!]). Step 1 is the Local Councils, who empty our bins, monitor our buses and care for our public parks. These politicians are called Councillors. Step 2 is our Members of the European Parliament (elected by Proportional Representation) who move every six months between Brussels and Strasbourg, milk a gravy train (mixed metaphor, tut tut), make decisions on major European political issues - the ideal shape of a banana, whether a tomato is a fruit or vegetable (important to the Spanish who get a bigger or smaller subsidy dependent upon this categorisation), Human Rights, contract arguments between football clubs over players, and, what makes a good and valid cheese. These politicians are called MEPs. Thirdly, we have the 'House of Lords' (always referred to in Parliament as 'another place') which was traditionally the bastion of our aristocracy, though has been 'changed' recently. All the nobles mentioned in Shakespeare plays have been removed and people who have given large amounts of money to political parties have been given 'titles' and elevated to the Lords. My personal favourite of these modern peers is the 'gilding the lily'-esque entitled Lord Adonis, whose appearance is even less like the personification of the most beautiful boy in Greek history, and more akin to a balding streak of pi55. These people, known as Lords and Ladies, look at parliamentary bills and can amend them, before returning them to the lower house for reconsideration, or pass the bill. Really, they are a waste of space, because the next level of government can simply ignore them, but it is seen as impolite to do so. Fouth, and the most commonly talked about, is the House of Commons, the 'lower house' where our elected Members of Parliament (MPs) sit and discuss everything from their second home allowances, what size tv they can get on expenses and what is the Prime Minister actually doing. The final level is, of course, our Gracious, Most Excellent and Super-duper Queen, Liz 2 (Liz 1 is not Liz Hurley). Ruling almost by Divine Right, welcome at all the best restaurants and grandparent to Wills and Harry, among others. God bless her, she is beyond reproach, and, even though, I am a socialist, I am quietly fond of her.
Political lesson over, let's talk about our MPs and yesterdays elections. We have just had a vote for some MEPs, the result to be announced on Sunday, and 45% of us have had local elections for Councillors, results coming through now. These elections are not held in much esteem by the average Brit, but is a good way of having a democratic whinge at the MPs, who should be reflecting our needs and issues. Our incumbent government ruling party has taken another big kicking in these elections. Even the Liberal Democrats (who haven't had any power since David Lloyd George in 1919) have overtaken Labour by 5 percentage points. The Conservatives (Fascist right wing party akin to the Republican Party) have won hands down. Basically, our government and, particularly, our leader, Gordon Brown (unelected to the leadership upon the retirement of St Tony de la Blair, peace envoy to the Middle East) are despised by the public.
Now to the crux of the matter. Obviously, there is a recession going on and this never benefits the ruling party. However, whilst declaring himself as a world leader, even saying that he was 'saving the world', he has been a dithering oath. Vince Cable (LibDem) said that the Northern Rock Bank should be nationalised to save it, 4 months later, the government nationalised it. The government is declaring its 'car scrappage scheme' (if your car's over 10 years old, trade it in get £1000 off the value of a new car from the government) a success - 12 months after Chancellor Merkel of Germany introduced their 'car scrappage scheme'. or 1500 Euros if you trade-in an old car. Alistair Darling (superb name for satyrists and comedians) has had a chequered career in the governments hierarchy, where every Department he takes over, turns to 5hit. He is now Chancellor of the Exchequer, or the man looking after our countries finances - God help us.
You've done well, dear reader, and now you get the juicy bits that you really want to hear about. MPs expenses. The Conservative Party is renowned for sleeze. Numerous illegitimite children, extra-marital affairs and some nice pay days from big business is the norm for this party. At least here, we know where we stand. Certain members of this party have gained global headlines for certain expense claims. £2000 for cleaning one's moat - well, an Englishman's home is his castle, and it's a poor castle that doesn't have a moat. £1200 for a Duck House in one's grounds - the ducks live in his constituency, can't get a mortgage in the current financial climate, and anyway, isn't this environmentally sound? We Brits are never surprised by this kind of ridiculous waste of our tax money by Conservatives, and sometimes find them a bit of a chuckle, though do expect a certain line to be drawn before they are seen to be simply taking the mickey. I mean, an MP claiming £200 for manure virtually writes its own jokes and headlines.
The Labour Party, though, is supposed to be left-wing, represent the working person and is funded by our Trade Unions, and, nowadays, big business too. Actually, over the last 12 years, this party has moved to the moderate right (akin to the Democrats) and gone into the pocket of the wealthy. The working people are not happy, we no longer have a party for us, except perhaps the LibDems, though they are a bit too pro-Europe for us fiercely independent little islanders. (Breaking News: Another Cabinet Minister has just resigned)
Our Labour MPs have been dodging tax, 'flipping' their second homes, claiming mortgage interest payments, when they don't have a mortgage, asking for upto £8000 for tvs, having mock Tudor wooden beams added to their homes, etc, et al. These are supposed to be hard working, well grounded, in touch politicians who know what the working classes need. For 3 weeks, the media has been exposing these rip-offs of the taxpayers money, with politicians saying they've done nothing illegal or against the rules. Unfortunately, these same MPs made the rules and then abused them. Some have, in fact, actually broke the law and are been investigated by the police (very slowly). About 35 MPs have declared that they will not be standing for election again, whilst insisting they have done nothing wrong. Worse is the what is happening in the 'Cabinet'. This group of senior politicians make our major decisions on policy. It has been an ever increasing number of politicians - there are now about 50 cabinet members, with bizarre titles and extra pay. To be a cabinet minister, you used to have to be in charge of a governent Ministry or Department. This was straihtforward, Dept of Trade, Dept of Education, Ministry of Defense, etc. Now we have a Business Minister, Schools Minister (with another one for higher education?), Childrens Secretary, and many more, all on the gravy train. From the 10 big jobs, that people take seriously, 4 ministers have resigned over the last 3 days. A re-shuffle was needed, and has happened. Ladies may be interested to know that the Labour Party portrayed itself as being pro-equality and having more lady MPs than any other party. It had more women in the Cabinet than ever before (5 important ones just 12 months ago - now 1), though one was not Gordons choice - Harriet Harman who was elected by the party. Strangely, one of those ladies, whose responsibility was Equality, was a member of Opus Dei and, therefore, believed that women were servile to men and should not enter church through the main entrance, but through the trade entrance at the side! The electorate is in shock at the widespread abuse by MPs and each party leader has been talking about reform of the political system, tightening up the ruled for MPs and giving more democratic power back to the House of Commons (we are basically run by the Cabinet, with no real voting happening in the house) and more real democracy representing the people.
In the light of giving more democracy and representation to the people, Gordon Brown has just announced his new Cabinet - containing 7 peers of the realm, or, in other terms, 7 people who Gordon liked so much that he has given them peerages, hence places in the House of Lords, and, now, a Cabinet position. Not one of these 7 people has been democratically elected. We have not had this many unelected Cabinet members since Lord Palmerston was First Lord of the Treasury (the real title of the Prime Minister, this latter nomenclature being invented as an insult, because the PM was from the Commons not the Lords.) So much for democracy. What's more, we have no say until Gordon Brown decides to call a General Election and under law, he need not do so for the next 12 months. We have an unelected leader, 7 unelected cabinet ministers, and still claim to be a democracy. It is a joke.
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