Is it presumptious to call my daughter's BF son in law if they are not married

hmm.. that's a tough one. I think it depends on the person on how he looks at it. I mean if I were him, I would probably feel flattered and honored to be accepted as a member of your family..however, if they don't have plans of getting married yet, that would be difficult on his part, it's a great pressure on him. Still, I think you did an amazing job.

That could cause a bit of insecurity depending on the present state of their relationship. I'd almost recommend you not send it. It might give him the wrong impression that your daughter has said something to you or whatever...

Yes I think that would be pushing the buttons a bit too much!! I understand that this guy seems like a perfect fit for your daughter but if either of them have said I do then you shouldn't assume that it will evidently happen.. You know as well as everyone that relationships nowadays come and end in a flash. Besides if he sees the card there's a good chance you might scare him into signing up for the big deal when he's not ready for it and well you know that would call for disaster... So in my opinion, I wouldn't call him son-in-law until he is officially handed that title..

Ahhh - you should've consulted with your daughter first. My future-in-laws already call me their daughter in law even though the only official thing I got going with the bf is what we have seem to be solid to most people. I mean I call them mom and dad too, so *shrugs.* And my parents - though they don't call him son-in-law (they call him by his first name), they don't seem to mind that he calls them mom and dad. Nope - we're not living together. I told him I'm not moving with him unless we're married. At this point - it's just not financially feasible for us to get married. I hope your FUTURE son-in-law will not get offended - in fact, he should be flattered. That you think he's good enough for your daughter. Good luck!