want to know what to look for when a stroke victim nears death  

I havent been around anyone that had a stroke, however, I am so sorry that this is all happening to you and your family. Do not take all of the blame in. It is not your fault that he had a stroke. I know its always easier to be on my side saying not to take the blame, but you have to. Your husband would not want you to try carring tht blame. GodBless you and your family.

Thanks for the wonderful advice. I have been following your story here on MyLot, and can tell that you and your husband have a lot on your plates. You are doing a great job taking care of him. While my grandmother didn't have a stroke, she had some other problems that caused her to need a wheelchair towards the end of her life, and so we built a ramp at their place. It's a really great thing to have.

well, there are ways to tell if a person is having a stroke, but as far as I know, no way to tell if it will be fatel.

if you notice a person is having more trouble than normal talking, if they have trouble smiling, or lost some co-ordination on one side, these are signs of stroke

Now, mom had her first stroke in 1996, and it was a very minor one (actually 2) and in 1997 she had a more major one, but they really didn't become debilitating until the last 3 years.

There are a number of signs although often the person does not realise what they mean until after the event. In fact people will often think that the symptoms they experience are just "getting old" or being a bit clumsy. Some of the things that can be indications are headaches, slurred speech, perhaps "drooling", dropping things, unsteady on feet, i.e. small falls or trips which can be put down to being "clumsy". Make sure that you are never dehydrated, blood pressure is kept under control as far as possible, a healthy diet with plenty of fruit and vegetables daily. There is also a lot of good information to find on many websites on the internet and some of those websites are run by/for familes of those who have had a stroke.

It is hard to know just what will affect each individual person as it does depend on the person and other than any other medical conditions that they might have had as well as their age of course.

By the way, I am a stroke SURVIVOR and certainly not a victim. I refuse to allow anyone to call me a victim because that implies negativity which is something that I will not have in my life since the stroke. My family and I have enough to cope with, without pity or sympathy which is what the word "victim" imples. In fact if there has to be "victim/s" then it is actually the family of the stroke survivor as suddenly they have to take on much more responsibility that they did before the stroke.

I had several small strokes over a period of time, all of which I thought were something else, till one day I had all of the symptoms mentioned above plus I lost sensation on one side of my body And went to hospital. However it was some 12 hours later when I was actually in the hospital that I had a major stroke.

As you can read I am still able to do many things but perhaps just a bit slower than I did in the past. Other things are much harder for me to do and if we are not in a hurry for them to do done, then I will do them myself because it is good for both my morale plus helps relieve some of the pressure on the family. Yes, I do get frustrated at times when it takes time to do a particular task or maybe I am unable to do it at all but we work through those times. Also one day I realised that my family and closest friends would find me some simple taks to do when I was not able to undertake something.

So as one friend said "I walk (witht he aid of a quad walking stick), talk, bathe and dress myself, feed myself and most importantly BREATHE".

Good luck to you and your husband as it is not easy sometimes - for either of you really but remember that the stroke has happened and nothing can change that. So look forward and you will both be okay.

That is hard to say. I have had a stroke and sometimes I feel like one is coming on and will stop what ever I am doing until and get on my breather. My mother-in-law was fine the Sunday before she had her stroke and had gotten up to go to the bathroom and had a stroke before she could go. Laid on the floor for 3 nights and two days before someone found her.

Often, when a person is having mini-strokes, there are treatments or surgical procedures that be done to prevent a major stroke. I don't know if this is being done for your husband, though.

I saw my father-in-law die after having a major stroke. The doctors told us he would not survive, and for ten harrowing days, I and the rest of his family watched this man continue to slip away.

Aside from such a definitive diagnosis and prognosis, I do not think anyone could tell you when someone having mini strokes how near to death they are.

My best wishes go out to you and your husband. Do look into various treatments, though, that could prevent or forestall a major stroke.

Karen

I have been around many people who have had strokes and there really is no certain way to tell if they are nearing death or not. I cared for one lady who had a stroke and lived for a good 13 years afterward. When her time came, she just went in her sleep peacefully. I cared for another lady who had a stroke and ended up bedridden and only lived for a few short weeks. It really does vary from person to person.
In general, when a person nears the end of their life, they noticably go through the five stages of dying; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. They do not go through the stages in any particular order, but they do go through them. Whenever I notice that a persosn begins going through these stages, I know that they realize that their life is nearing its end. For example, I work for a lady who is in her late 80s and she is still in pretty good health, but she is in the process of making sure that everything is in order for after she is gone, this is the stage of acceptance. She has accepted that she is going to go before much longer.
My grandfather had a minor surgery and while he was in the hospital, he suffered from CHF, a heart attack, a stroke, and pneumonia all within 5 day's time. He had never really been sick in his life. He still went home and there had one final heart attack...he passed away in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. We all thought that he was recovering from the previous problems quite well,yet, he still went when it was his time.
I guess what I am trying to tell you is that he could seem perfectly fine and then go without notice or he could show a decline in his health and then pass. The most important thing that you can do for the both of you is to not dwell on how much tgime you may or may not have, but spend the time together that you are given. Allow him to do the things that he is capable of and encourage him to push himself a little more each day. Show him love, but not pity. He needs to know that he is still alive and even though he may not be able to do everything that he once did, he still holds importance in your life. This alone will likely prolong his life.
Please don't burden yourself with constant wonder and worry about when he will go, but enjoy each day that you do have to share with him.

Hi there,

I feel bad to know your version but would not pity for life is like that. And as fortunately we have not had any such cases in our family so I am not sure what are the signs and what precaution one is expected to do.

Hope your anxiety would end and you are happy.

I don't think it works that way, unless he is already confirmed by a doctor as having an 'imminant death' status.

For most things, death comes unexpectedly and with no symptoms at all, so trying to look for any is just not going to work.