Would you still marry your fiance even if he or she becomes disabled?
By neelianoscet
@neelianoscet (9615)
Philippines
July 7, 2009 5:03am CST
If your fiance meet a terrible accident that left him or her disabled, with scar face or have badly body disfigure. Would you still marry her or him or decide to quit? Would you still accept your fiance, despite of her or his defects? I have seen couples who separate, because they are embarrass to accept the new changes in their images. But, some remain faithful to profess their love for each other and get marry. Their dictum, that matter is on the inside of the person that they see as important rather than the outside appearance. Others, change their mind and have a second thoughts. Especially, if their partner could no longer work or serve as a burden. They do not like to continue their relationship and serve the accident as a hindrance. If you meet such kind of situation? Would you still feel faithful to your partner and marry or will you change your mind to get marry?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@preethaanju (3000)
• India
7 Jul 09
It is only the outer skin that gets disfigured. It is only her limb that gets disabled but not her heart. If i had loved her for her physical beauty then it would have mattered. But i have liked a girl in my place,although she doesn't like me, only for her good qualities and not her physical beauty.Her simplicity and discipline and decency impressed me. I dont think she will lose all these qualities, no matter what happens to her physically, God forbid.
1 person likes this
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
This question is really a test of faith and really describes the kind of person you are. I am glad that you will accept your partner no matter what happen. He or she lost the beauty of face or body but not his or her pure souls. Many marries a young, pretty and smart lass or lad. But, separate after many years and the worst they cheat each other. Loyalty and fidelity lies on each partner dedication to keep the relationship stronger. But, some fails because of lost patience and worse they have no money to buy medicines and for long time maintenance.
@berrys (864)
• Singapore
8 Jul 09
well for me it would really depend on the other half. i mean if i was madly in love with him and he was disabled or something but we were still able to share the same passion and love for each other then sure i would stay and be faithful but if like most cases after an accident a person becomes resentful of the way they've suddenly become and not like how they have to live life like that they start to become angry people and take it out on people around them so then i would definitely leave the person cause i don't think i should deserve something like that. but it would always depend on the situation anyways. you do ask a slightly odd question though.hopefully you're alright.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
It is really a difficult situation when you have come to think twice or many times to come up with a decision. With the onset of global crisis, many women and men choose to marry a partner who is financially stable despite the ugliness or with disability. They are more choosy and they think that love cannot survives if your stomach is empty. As what you mention their moods also changes, because they think of themselves as useless and lost their own purposes. Hence, very emotional and often isolates themselves from the crowds. It is also hard to get a job and some engage in business or becomes self-employed, some have their own insurance or pension receive every months. But, in reality this is not adequate to establish a family. Especially, if the other partner is not working. Except, if he is rich and could be a good provider despite of the accident.
@daliaj (5674)
• India
8 Jul 09
This is a very vry difficult question. I will say I need to think about this and answer. It depends on how much I love the person and how much deep the relationship is. The sad part is I have to take care of my parents opinion. My parents might not want me to be with somebody disabled. It is sad to make my parents sad. So, I will say my decision depends on a lot of other factors.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
It is a test of loyalty and love. But some are practical they would marry for money. And some marry for love but is all gone if the stomach is empty. It is fine to get marry if your partner is wealthy or at least with his own business. The problem really occurs if he have no job or no employer will hire him after the accident.
@candy2306 (576)
• India
8 Jul 09
A true couple love each other for who they are not their appearance. If one rejects the partner due to disability, then his/her love can be measured! My love is pure and I love my partner for who is he and not what he is!
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
It is clear test of unconditional love and faith for both partner. Others quit in their relationship and find somebody else who will not be a burden. This may be due to the influence of the partner friends, parents or relatives. He or she may receive bad advices and will try to divert his or her attention. Telling him to back out of his intention to marry the girl. But, if their love is really strong and no matter what happen they both stick it with each others. They can live happy with a lot of understanding, nurturing,kindness and a sense of maturity.
@jaiho2009 (39140)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
this is a matter of test of faithfulness,but on the other hand,the concern party is the one who always let go,becoz he/she doesnt want to be a burden for his/her partner.i know someone personally who faced such situation,after the accident the guy decided to give his fiancee her freedom,and the guy left and settled somewhere.sometimes,someone has to sacrifice for the happiness of their love ones.we can never measure the weight of love thru accidents or whatever hindrances that might cross our way.it is an individual choice.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
It is really is and a test of a person character as well. Love is a two way process, it is not truly enjoy if the other partner love you only half way and set certain conditions and limitation. It could not be compare to what we buy to the store that if we decides to return it back and not satisfy with it. We will just return. It is more deep and require vast understanding, commitment and unending loyalty to become a successful marriage relationship.
@janebeth (2032)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
hi neelianoscet,
what a shocking question my dear, it would be very difficult for us to answer this. no one likes to happen this.!! but for me, probably i will accept him because its not his choice, its just an accident.!! i will still marry him even if he is not like before.. i hope it will not happen to me, it will be very hard...
janebeth.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
This is really a test of faith and a fact that if ever it happen to you or to your partner. You will not change your feeling the just like the first time you both fell in love with each other. I seen a lot of couples who change their mind and even vanish right away without bidding goodbye to their partner. They cancel their marriages and broke their relationship. The worse scenario, the offending partner may become depressed and lost contact with the reality. They become hopeless but others fight back to remain loyal to their partner. They help each other recover from misery and become successful in their marriage.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
I am glad you reply with no doubt. Are you really sure? You still have time to back out? Anyway, this is a test of your love and faith to your fiance. If everyone is only after the external beauty. Then, love is a fake and only go after those men and women with pretty face. Admission in reality is hard for those who are really adopt to the theory of having pretty wife or husband will make anyone happy. But, this is an ugly fact and we have to face it. We are not really sure what future lies ahead in all of us. We need to be ready in case if ever this happen. It will really test you and your partner trust and loyalty.
@zhpshql (693)
• China
7 Jul 09
Hello,
neelianoscet,
You asked a very wierd question. and absolutly it's too hard for most people to answer. Nobody want to see this happen.
But regarding it as a assumption,I would forgive the one who abondon the other,and respect the one who still love the other.~~
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
My questions is very hard to answer but your response should comes from your heart first and secondary is from the work of your brains. It is really hard to accept but it is a fact of reality. We will never know if we could live long, die shortly or meet an accident. We just need to accept that fact that nobody is exempted. In case only if ever this happen to you or to your loved ones. If ever it happen to me , I cannot force my fiance to marry me if his feeling change. But, if he persist then it may mean happy ending or i must say happy beginning for the two of us. If ever it happen to my partner and despite the disapproval of my parents. I will still marry him as a sign of my love. If surgery can remedy it and he can afford. I will support him and if their is nothing can do, despite of his efforts. I will still loved him out of love not out of pity.
@psychotaz206 (2086)
• United States
8 Jul 09
i am married and have been for 11 years but if i was not i would still marry him if he became disabled or scared because if you truely love some one is because whats on the inside that counts i am disabled and don't work but it don't bother my husband infact he don't want me to work any ways he says my job is to take care of the children and he will take care of us which he does i have a bone problem and he knew tht from day one and he knew what things could happen and he still married me and we been married for 11 years now so to answer your question yes i would still marry him if he had become scared .
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
You are lucky to have an understanding, caring, responsible and faithful husband. It is really a test of fidelity and your husband proves to you his love is forever and can stand any trials. Some couples are stronger and some are weak. You fall in the first category. The beauty is really deep inside the skin, the essence is find in a heart that seek only love and expect less of her partner. You are still important and vital part of your family. You seem are a very caring mother and wife to your husband. Good luck to you and best wishes for your happy marriage.
@macdingolinger (10385)
• United States
7 Jul 09
Wow! Good question. It's difficult to answer questions like this because the emotions you would feel aren't really there so you can only suppose. Reality is many times vey different when it presents itself because there's always something you didn't count on! I don't know. I would like to think I would still love the person and take care of him no matter what since he already had my heart!I can say this, my son was in a terrible accident 8 months ago and is still recovering in a nursing home and his girlfriend has stayed with him through the trial. She doesn't stay here like I do, but she comes when she can (she lives in another state) she is one who has given me many much needed breaks.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
This question is a test of your love, fidelity and trust to your fiancee. But, some run away from marrying a fiance who becomes disabled,with scarred face and deformed body. The worst I can imagine they could not bear children, because the organs of their reproductive system is damage. If each partner insist and persist to get married. it is a joyous and very emotional occasion. Another tales of unending love stories will have to tell to our future grandchildren. I do not really like to appear kind and merciful to the highest degrees. But, the question if in case it happen to you or to anyone. It is really hurt if your fiance reject you and unless you're the one who left him.
