husbands

I've always had a joint account when I've been married but not everyone is comfortable with that set-up, I know. If you are both earning income and it takes both of those incomes to ensure that all your financial obligations are met, then it would seem ok for the money to be in a joint account from where the bills get paid.

However... having said that... if your husband is a smoker and routinely spends money for cigarettes, and also for beer, I think it's only fair that you sit down and calculate how much he spends on those things each week and you should receive an equal amount for yourself. You can then do as you wish with yours, i.e., putting it into an account of your own or using it for things you want.

One caveat though... if you only have one debit card, it should probably be kept safely at home. Make sure that you each get your "spending money" in cash. Once you have it, do what you like with it but once it's gone, it's gone until the next pay day. Having a debit card on hand all the time is just too much temptation and can really wreck the budget if one partner or both are not responsible with spending. Being on a cash basis tends to make people think a lot more about how much they actually spend. I wish you luck... I know financial issues can be hard on a relationship.