I have been crying these past few days.. I suddenly felt so alone..

Hi anime.. Yeah, I think my life is so still.. I can't remember how long my life has been like this.

My family lives far from me. Actually, I have just came home after 6 months of staying with them. Yeah, it's kinda nice to be with them but I'm used to living independently with just my puppies with me.

Ice creams and chocolates. I didn't know eating those can make a person happy. Maybe I'll have some today.

I hope God has never really forsake me yet.. But there are times I can't help to think He has.

I have faith in Him I know and I'm so sure I do. I talk to Him everyday especially at nights when I feel so alone and crying. I kept asking Him for signs that He's there just watching over me but the emptiness I feel in my heart hasn't been satisfied yet. I don't know where to find what could fill those emptiness inside me. It's like I'm hoping for something but the problem is, I don't what it is.

Thanks a lot myles.. It somehow felt a little better thinking that someday I'll make a beautiful love story of my own. Yeah, maybe someday my prince will come when I least most expect it.

I'm not looking for someone at the moment, well maybe I am, I'm not really sure but you're right, I'll better leave that pursuit to fate.

Happy posting!

i come from a big family and i'm often surrounded with kids as well as friends. i'm fortunate in that aspect because i can laugh a lot and do activities with them... especially with my nephews and nieces. in times like this, you need to find the things that can make you smile. sure, sometimes we will feel sad and lonely during the nights when we are alone... that's why i spend it with friends old and new, who make me smile and laugh and sometimes... forget.

take up a hobby, do something worthwhile, and do something you enjoy and will make you feel good. mylotting sometimes does that to me and i enjoy it here. i also get to meet new friends.

Oh that's nice that you have a lot nieces and nephews. My family is big too. I have lots of relatives but they're all grown up now. I only have one nephew and my cousin's kids well, I seldom see them.

I also love to mylot. But there are times when I feel like this, lonely, it's like I don't want to talk to anyone, so I seldom go online. I have a hobby, cross stitch. I also have pets that keep me company. My friends live far and so is my family and so basically I am alone always. That's why I guess I suddenly felt like I needed someone.

cross-stitch, that's pretty neat. involves lots of patience. hehe the only other person in my family who had finished one big piece was my brother-in-law. and he had it framed. he did it during the months that my sister was pregnant with their child. the pattern was angels/cherubs.

my nephews and nieces are aged 2-17 years old and i had babysat for all of them when they were kids. now that they have different interests, it's actually fun to try out the kind of fun that they are all up to. good for bonding experience. playing with kids somehow reconnects the kids in us.

hey, try chatting online with people you don't know or even with some mylotters here. i do it. keeps off the loneliness especially if the people you talk with are chatty or talkative or jokers or just simply nice people to talk with.

Oh the six cherubs? I know that design. They're cute little angels..

I am trying to connect with some old friends at friendster. Just 2 nights ago I visited my profile for the very first time after registering and that was 2 years ago. It was nice and kinda exciting. I found 2 old friends and hopefully I'll find more old friends and meet new ones too. But I'm just starting so, I'll take it really slow.

yes, i think that's the one my brother-in-law made.

great! reconnecting with old friends. hehehe that's a very good start. i am chatting with several mylotters outside of mylot. and it's fun. finding out the common things we have with a fellow mylotter somehow sparks kinship/friendship-sorta-feeling... and it's a start. when you go out... smile. it makes a lot of difference. when you're alone... smile too. it always eases the feeling. hehehe

if or when there's a mylot reunion in your area... please participate when you can. you'll get to meet others who are also enjoying the site.

You have been chatting with fellow lotters outside of mylot? Well that's nice.. I haven't been too close to anybody here. I mean I have some whom I consider as best friends but not that close to have the chance to chat outside of mylot.

yes, it's really great and fun... especially when you have things in common with them... like places i have travelled in, work, relationship issues etc. you'll find a lot of mylotters share the same experiences and commonality. some of them i chat with for several hours at one point. sometimes serious stuff... some is just for laughs. hahaha it really is a great feeling to laugh so i rarely have those off moments to be lonely. not much room for that in my daily schedule. hahaha

Seek a mate.. Where? How? Sigh...

Yeah I feel the same when I see people with loved ones walking together so sweetly.. I can't help but wish that I'm walking with someone too.. I kinda envy those people who have someone in their lives.

I never had too many relationships in my life. Sometimes I feel I am unlucky in love even when most at times I would suggest others not to feel lonely without someone. But I am feeling it right now.

You said to believe that I am meant for something else. Actually, I have been praying to give me signs what He wanted me to be and hopes that He answers me soon cause I really feel I need to know where and what should I be.

Thank you for hopes lynette.. I have not fully recovered yet but I'm trying.

Hehe you made me smile vandana.. Yeah, being single means freedom on everything. I also love the fact that I can wake up whatever time I want to. But I'm just curious, haven't you felt lonely at some point in your life?

From where I come, we have a maid coming in the morning. And when I go out, the watchman and his family invariably greet me, and have a few words to spare. The grocer is friendly (he gets good business), the baker and me we share a passion for collecting coins so we always have some news to share, and the vegetable vendor - she is always giving me recipes some of which I try and fail. I have friends who send me so many forwards that invariably I smile at least once a day. I used to work so I have colleagues who are all still in touch with me. I have a few friends with whom I go to temple to wash my sins, and I love reading jokes. I am crazy about music. I sing reasonably well, and my maid also enjoys listening to my screeching:-). Whenever my father is around he stuffs cotton in his ears, forcing me to sing still louder. There are however moments when I have been hurt. People have asked me to take the responsibilities of their children as they feel I have too much to splurge - especially after 40. These perhaps are the only few moments when I felt I should have had a child. Ironically, these are also the moments when I felt - well, if isn't she finding it a burden now - and so I am better off. But please, dont let me influence u. My life is different - my thinking is different. I am happy this way. I truly love being independent. Ur nature might be different. I just wanted to say well - even if u miss the bus, the station where u r is quite pleasant if u care to notice it. That is all. And before I forget, let me thank u for asking me to be ur friend, I am honored.:-)

I like the way you described you everyday life. I think it's interesting. From the moment you walk out the door there is something that always makes you smile. I'd say you've got a friendly neighborhood there.

I also love being independent. That's why I chose to live alone here in my hometown. This sudden loneliness and feeling of being alone just came and bothered me so much that it made me cry at nights. I guess that's whats different between us. From what I see, I think you're taking life lightly with happy thoughts when I'm having mine as though it's like a problem. Maybe I needed to change how I would handle life this time to make things better even when they're worse.

Hello Iskayz,:-) I think doing something that another person does and is happy with does not guarantee happiness. Doing what u want to do and enjoy doing is what is going to make u happy. Dont think just because ur friends have relationships they are happy. Many times people act it because they are expected to. U r truly and believe me truly not out of ur prime. So dont panic. I hope u will find the right guy. And remember, even if a relationship does come, it is not guaranteed that it will remain foreover. U may find that u r not willing to forego something for that person, or u do not like something about that person. So expecting relationships to be source of joy is setting urself up for some pain. Find joy in urself, u have ample talents in u. Dont tell me u dont have anything that u like. It could be gardening, sewing, painting, watching movies, having a nice time with some friends and family - oh there are so many many things. U make the world sound so empty. U could even go to some orphanage or homes for mentally challenged. Check how many things that they cannot do, and count ur blessings. And dont give up Iskayz. Just know that u r special, and deserve somebody special. Be honest with drawbacks of the person, and check with urself if u can indeed let go of some of ur nature for that person. If not, u should be the first to ease out - gently - treat urself like Cleopetra or any other queen. That is the way I have lived. Yes. I smile a lot.:-) Try it. It works.:-) And for ur benefit - Elizabeth I was also a single. Even though she could have had any guy.:-) Think positive. Everything will be alright. Hope ur frame of mind improves.

Try to fill your time up with some busy work. Sometimes getting your mind off things will be great. Get back into school or do something active. Pick up some hobbies that you can enjoy. Sometime the world won't wait for you. You'll just have to pick yourself up and figure out fun and exciting things to do in the mean time until your friends become available. They can't stop moving the world just because you don't want to spin it.

God bless

Hi azn and doggy.. I don't have much friends either. My friends live far out of town and so we very seldom have time to go out and chit-chat. And why is it that if you're feeling lonely, people always say to go and hang out with friends. I do that sometimes, but when you're home nothing changes, I am still lonely and alone.