sign in • sign up
web   discussions   tasks   blogs   photos

Should those keepsakes be returned?  email this discussion to a friend?

thrupages (72) 3 years ago

The girlfriend of my best friend has just recently left him. Should he return those keepsakes to seal the breakup? Almost everything around him reminds him of her. CDs, books, and other smaller gifts she has given him are breaking him into pieces. He is planning to put everything away in a box and send them back to her. Is this the right thing to do? Please share your thoughts.

 

been in love
sponsors
Engravable Awards& Gifts
Free Personalization& Price Match All
www.CrystalPlus.com/Awards_Gifts

Fresh Gourmet Coffee Bean
So Fresh You Can Warm Your Hands On The Bag!
specialtyjava.com

Promotional Products
Promote Yourself! Get The Best Deals On Promo Products Online Today.
crownprod.com

rmorefield (896) response was accepted on 1/15/2012.
denotes best response, click it to go to the best response.
tags:  returning gifts, gifts, keepsakes, unethical
 
1. myLot reputation of 96/100. crazyoverpurple (3014)   3 years ago

Well, those were gifts to him by his ex-girlfriend. They were given out of the girl's own free will and as a token of her affection for her then boyfriend. Even if it was the girl who left him, I'm sure the girl would feel bad if he returned the gifts she gave him. If keeping the gifts only hurts your friend, maybe he can just give them away or just put them in a box and have someone else store the stuff for him. I personally think returning a gift to the giver is somewhat unethical.


myLot reputation of 93/100. soulist (2569)   ranked 314 out of 1,620 in been in love  3 years ago

I agree with crazyoverpurple. She gave those gifts out of kindness and wanting him to have them. If they make him feel pain them maybe he should just put them in a box in the closet or something like that. I would be heartbroken even more if my ex sent me back the pictures, cds and things that I sent him.


thrupages (72)  3 years ago

I honestly did not know what to tell him. Somehow, he has gotten into this. He is not easy to approach now. I don't want to remind him of all those keepsakes. I will appear too nosy if I trespass his do-not-disturb-me mode these days. It is always difficult to understand heartbroken individuals. Hopefully, time will help him.

Engravable Awards & Gifts Free Personalization & Price Match All  www.CrystalPlus.com/Awards_Gifts
 
2. myLot reputation of 65/100. NIECIE21 (326)   ranked 923 out of 1,620 in been in love   3 years ago

I dont think he shoul return them to her. I am sure she gave them to him because she knew he would enjoy them. If it hurts too much for him to keep them around, then maybe he can try to put them in a box and put it up until he can look at them with out being hurt. I would be very upset if an ex gave me back the gifts that i gave him just becasue we were no longer togther.


thrupages (72)  3 years ago

I don't really know now. I don't even know how to approach him anymore. Things have changed so much. It was his cry when I posted this with only one thought - to help him out. Now, crying or not... my friend is really in the dark. He is too hurt and too confused. I guess it is his first heartbreak. I still wish time helps him out.

Fresh Gourmet Coffee Bean So Fresh You Can Warm Your Hands On The Bag!  specialtyjava.com
 
3. myLot reputation of 95/100. rmorefield (896)   3 years ago

If it would make him feel better, then I think that he should return them to her. Why should he worry about whether or not her feelings will be hurt? After all, she is the one that left him, right? As long as he did nothing to her to make her leave (such as cheat on her) then he should not care. Everyone needs closure. Of course, he could always have a garage sale and try to get a little money out of it.


thrupages (72)  3 years ago

Closure - one thing he is having a hard time dealing with at this point. I will remember your advice and share your words with him the moment he welcomes me with a smile again. Right now, things are not in a very approachable term. It has been a hard blow on him. With his sensitivity, I don't know when will I ever see him back to his old self. Sigh.

Promotional Products Promote Yourself! Get The Best Deals On Promo Products Online Today.  crownprod.com
 
4. myLot reputation of 93/100. crimsonladybug (2539)   ranked 1,427 out of 1,620 in been in love   3 years ago

Absolutely do whatever makes him feel better but I think the "rule" is gifts do not have to be returned, only borrowed items (CDs, movies, books, clothes) should be returned. But if it is too painful to look at those gifts then giving them back may be cathartic. Speaking from personal experience, probably not but each of us heals in different ways so maybe.

The other question is what about gifts from her family? Should he return those as well? My ex-idiot's parents gave me a beautiful hand carved jewelry box for Christmas one year and I still have it. Was I supposed to give that back? Where do we draw the line?


thrupages (72)  3 years ago

I would not know where to draw the line. One fact in life says that we can never eradicate those gray areas. Part of living speaks for them. When was the last time I heard from that friend? If keeping his peace helps, so be it. If we only know what lies ahead for those well-treasured keepsakes. If we only know that sharing how much we appreciate them is enough. They do not stay as simple as they come though.

Spa Gift Baskets Luxurious Spa Gifts-Up to 50% of Ground Shpping  www.giftbasketcrossing.com
 
sponsors
Spa Gift Baskets
Luxurious Spa Gifts-Up to 50% of Ground Shpping
www.giftbasketcrossing.com

The Ideal Baby Gift
Our stylish baby sleep sacks keep your baby warm and covered all night
www.babyinabag.com

Free Personal Engraving
No Additional Charge for Engraving Gifts
Willowtreehome.com

similar discussions
return gifts?
we all know that this is one of the dilemmas of females of newly break up couples. if a...
sponsors
Spa Gift Baskets
Luxurious Spa Gifts-Up to 50% of Ground Shpping
www.giftbasketcrossing.com
The Ideal Baby Gift
Our stylish baby sleep sacks keep your baby warm and covered all night
www.babyinabag.com
Free Personal Engraving
No Additional Charge for Engraving Gifts
Willowtreehome.com
Modigliani Italian Design
Shop via Condotti in Rome from your home.
www.modiglianiusa.com
Toys & Plush make gifts
Super selection of popular toys, plush, trading cards & action figures
www.bbtoystore.com
1 SneakyGolf Trick
4 Bad Golfers Wanted To Test Trick To Add 30+ Yards To Drives!
GolfFuel.com
Anniversary Gift
Buy One Share of Stock in their favorite company
WWW.UniqueStockGift.com
return to mylot
We are loading a word from our sponsors. No thanks, cancel loading.