Should those keepsakes be returned?  |
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|  The girlfriend of my best friend has just recently left him. Should he return those keepsakes to seal the breakup? Almost everything around him reminds him of her. CDs, books, and other smaller gifts she has given him are breaking him into pieces. He is planning to put everything away in a box and send them back to her. Is this the right thing to do? Please share your thoughts.
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1.  crazyoverpurple (3014)
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3 years ago
| |  Well, those were gifts to him by his ex-girlfriend. They were given out of the girl's own free will and as a token of her affection for her then boyfriend. Even if it was the girl who left him, I'm sure the girl would feel bad if he returned the gifts she gave him. If keeping the gifts only hurts your friend, maybe he can just give them away or just put them in a box and have someone else store the stuff for him. I personally think returning a gift to the giver is somewhat unethical.
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 soulist (2569)
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3 years ago
| |  I agree with crazyoverpurple. She gave those gifts out of kindness and wanting him to have them. If they make him feel pain them maybe he should just put them in a box in the closet or something like that. I would be heartbroken even more if my ex sent me back the pictures, cds and things that I sent him.
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| thrupages (72)
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3 years ago
| | I honestly did not know what to tell him. Somehow, he has gotten into this. He is not easy to approach now. I don't want to remind him of all those keepsakes. I will appear too nosy if I trespass his do-not-disturb-me mode these days. It is always difficult to understand heartbroken individuals. Hopefully, time will help him. | | | |
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2.  NIECIE21 (326)
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3 years ago
| |  I dont think he shoul return them to her. I am sure she gave them to him because she knew he would enjoy them. If it hurts too much for him to keep them around, then maybe he can try to put them in a box and put it up until he can look at them with out being hurt. I would be very upset if an ex gave me back the gifts that i gave him just becasue we were no longer togther.
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| thrupages (72)
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3 years ago
| | I don't really know now. I don't even know how to approach him anymore. Things have changed so much. It was his cry when I posted this with only one thought - to help him out. Now, crying or not... my friend is really in the dark. He is too hurt and too confused. I guess it is his first heartbreak. I still wish time helps him out. | | | |
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| thrupages (72)
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3 years ago
| | Closure - one thing he is having a hard time dealing with at this point. I will remember your advice and share your words with him the moment he welcomes me with a smile again. Right now, things are not in a very approachable term. It has been a hard blow on him. With his sensitivity, I don't know when will I ever see him back to his old self. Sigh. | | | |
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| 4. crimsonladybug (2539)
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3 years ago
| |  Absolutely do whatever makes him feel better but I think the "rule" is gifts do not have to be returned, only borrowed items (CDs, movies, books, clothes) should be returned. But if it is too painful to look at those gifts then giving them back may be cathartic. Speaking from personal experience, probably not but each of us heals in different ways so maybe.
The other question is what about gifts from her family? Should he return those as well? My ex-idiot's parents gave me a beautiful hand carved jewelry box for Christmas one year and I still have it. Was I supposed to give that back? Where do we draw the line?
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| thrupages (72)
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3 years ago
| | I would not know where to draw the line. One fact in life says that we can never eradicate those gray areas. Part of living speaks for them. When was the last time I heard from that friend? If keeping his peace helps, so be it. If we only know what lies ahead for those well-treasured keepsakes. If we only know that sharing how much we appreciate them is enough. They do not stay as simple as they come though. | | | |
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