how does it affect YOUR life when your friends end their relationships?
By fruitcakeliz
@fruitcakeliz (2638)
United States
August 17, 2009 5:03pm CST
I am sure most people have been there before. You have a friend who has a boyfriend/girlfriend that you just love hanging out with, or even worse, two good friends of your start to date. Things go well for a while, you keep in touch with both of them, you go out for drinks, for dinner, you have them over to your house as a couple...heck..you even invite them both to your wedding or some special event..
But then you get a phone call from one of them..they have broken up, and need a shoulder to cry on, someone to vent to, someone to go out and party with to get them over these rough days...then the OTHER one calls you and wants the same thing..wants to keep hanging out just like old times when they were together, or you re having a dinner party at your house, and would like to invite ALL of your friends, and that means ALL of them...both members of the recently disolved relationship.
How do you deal with this? Are you able to remain friends with both parties and stay impartial to their relationship drama? Or do you feel the need to choose one over the other? Is it really fair for you to have to choose to push one of your friend out of your life, just so you can keep the other?
This happened to me when i got divorced. I really didn't want to feel like i was making my friends choose, but neither of us (my ex or myself) wanted anything to do with the other, but unfortunatly our group of friends was very close, and it felt like one of us had to step out side the circle and sacrifice all those friendships just so we wouldn't be putting them in awkward situations. I lost touch with many people who were close to me, and i must say, it really kind of sucked. Granted, now many years have passed, and i have been able to re-gain these friendships, as he ad i have both moved on and have others in our circle of friends, but it still weirds me out when one of them will mention that they hung out with him the other day. Part of me wants to pry and ask them questions about how he is doing, and part of me feels, well i don't know how to put it, kind of betrayed? For the most part it doesn't bother me, but those little feelings still crop up.
So anyways..how do you deal with it when your friends break up, whether getting divorced, ot just splitting up their dating reltionship? Do you keep your distance form both parties? Do you choose one friend over the other? Or are you able to stay a neutral friend to both parties involved?
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