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Are we raising passive aggressive children? email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 90/100. KMPierce (117)   ranked 391 out of 543 in parent4 months ago

I struggle daily with how our society is raising this new generation. I have an 8 yr old son and daily I question my parenting. One minute we are teaching our kids to stand up for themselves and not take anything off of anyone- teaching them to be leaders. The next minute we are teaching that everything should be fair and we have to allow every person to play equally. Life isn't equal nor should things, skills, etc. be given to anyone.. it should be earned and proven. (For the record, this has nothing to do with gender, race, or economics- I am just speaking from one parent to another).

I find myself at my sons ball games and most of the parents are yelling for their kids to play harder, to fight to win. Then at the end of the year every team and every child, regardless of how they played received a trophy. This makes no sense to me- if you win you get a trophy. Now that said I believe we should encourage our kids in a positive way, but don't treat them equally to those that actually win.

This is why ask "are we raising passive aggressive children"? Are we confusing our kids?

 
 
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tags:  children, parenting, raising kids, raising, society
 
1. myLot reputation of 95/100. dawnald (9961)   ranked 370 out of 543 in parent   4 months ago

I think at a certain age, it makes sense to give everybody trophies to applaud a good effort. It probably makes sense to do that with special education kids also. But at some point, kids do need to learn that life isn't fair and they need to learn not to expect kudos for a mediocre effort. At what age you draw the line, I don't know, but certainly before they are adults.


myLot reputation of 90/100. KMPierce (117)   ranked 391 out of 543 in parent  4 months ago

I agree with you=- when kids are little they should all receive awards. It tough teaching my son that he can't always win and receive awards. It's one of the down sides of parenting and learning about life.

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2. myLot reputation of 89/100. hmfryklund (345)   4 months ago

Honestly, this is a really great topic, and this is something that I think about quite often, actually. Especially how every year, "society" wants you to change the morals in your family, how to raise your children, different discipline techniques that are right or wrong, etc. I definitely think that this is confusing our children! Honestly, even I am confused! So many people ask for my advice on things like this, and I don't even know what to say, in fear I will say the wrong answer because society is changing so often with how we should view life and our opinions. Ugh!


myLot reputation of 90/100. KMPierce (117)   ranked 391 out of 543 in parent  4 months ago

It is confusing! I'm glad you said that you get confused by the rules because I do to. There are times I tell my son something and he comes home from school, or a friends house, and says another adult said the opposite- its frustrating trying to teach your kids these days.

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