People not cleaning up after themselves...

My wife complains about the mess everyone leaves around the house. She is messy too but she says no one clean up after her but her so she can leave a mess herself. She would rather stay at a motel then at someones house because she doesn't have to worry about cleaning up my mess and I am a messy guy.

I would tell the girl, she would have to clean up, behind herself when she come to my house, because if there is one thing,I can not stand is cleaning up behind other people, I will clean up behing myself, but some people are just so nasty.

Before I comment, I want you to know that I am a man who grew up in a house with four brothers and six sisters. My wife and I have raised three daughters. Currently they are 22, 18 and 15. I teach what i learned from my mother: clean up behind yourself. If you don't want to clean it up, don't mess it up. When you have friends over, you are responsible for them in our house. They must abide by the same rules as we do. if you don't want me inforcing house rules on your guess, then it's up to you do do so or they can't visit. Those were my mom's house rules, they have been mine and they work.

Growing up, my mum was always shouting at me for leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor, making a mess with my makeup, and never tidying my room. And rightly so! I have a photo somewhere of my room when I was 14, and you can't even see what kind of flooring I had! It was that bad. But by the age of 16 I was a little more responsible, I tried to at least maintain an illusion of tidiness, even if it meant shoving everything in a cupboard and putting a chair against the door lol. If I had friends over and they drank too much and threw up, I cleaned up after them and put them to bed. When a friend dyed her hair at my house, I made sure she wiped the shower down afterwards, because when my mother allowed guests into her home, she didn't do it expecting them to disrespect her property. I agree that leaving body hair in the bathroom is gross, in my house, the bath has to be rinsed immediately after anyone uses it.

hi stacysmomstl, you then had better not look into our tea kitchen at work. Its messy almost all times there lol and thats why I refrain from using it most of the time too. (grin). Mainly the two little fridges are a problem cause people forget they have stuff in there and ita rotting with time passing.

This is her friends very first visit correct?

Your daughter set a positive example it sounds like in front of this person. I think it is possible to be passive (up to a point) and teach this child etiquette through the apparently grand behavior of your daughter.

It may be possible (if you're patient enough) to occasionally state things in front of your daughter and her friend. "Thank you soooo much honey for cleaning the bathroom up. You KNOW how I can't stand hair in the sink (or in the shower)." without having the friend feel uncomfortable. Stuff like that.

Perhaps it would be possible to get some sort of "organizer" makeup and "girly girl stuff" -wise to help them be better at keeping things straight.

It was very good of your child to have set such a positive example. She must really think this friend of hers is a worthwhile friend, especially if she's attempting to appease you.:) I'm equally glad to see that you went to her instead of her friend. That would really have been something of an awkward friendship. Especially if she didn't feel that she was welcome.

As she becomes more accustomed to the way you get things done, you'll be better able to make her feel like the friend is a "daughter" also... by making her clean up her own messes. "Jordan, please don't forget to get your stuff straight in the bathroom, dear...Hope ya'll have fun at the dance!" ... etc

I only say this because this is how I was treated. I got to be someone else's "daughter" and I learned how to better apply this to my own child. YES, those teenage years sure are something aren't they?

I just loooove Niecy Nash, don't you!

yes, u should tell her in a nice way. tell her that they leave the room clean or as tidy and clean as they arrived.

maybe, u can start putting up a signage in the bathroom, to remind them how important it is to be tidy and orderly all the time. u can do both, too, just to make sure.

i think you should tell your daughter's friends. if you think you can't let your daughter do it. i am sure your daughter's friends will understand what they will need to do. there is nothing wrong being responsible enough to clean their own mess. and also, you are not stopping them to hang in your place and so they have not reason to feel bad at all.