Yesterday Sunday Sept 20, 2009 Marked 14 years now since My brother died!!

HI{{Tyc}} how are you dear friend??

Yeah your brother and mine sound a lot alike there (G)!! Even though I was the youngest of the three kids My older jerk off brother was long gone and married
and I was an Aunt by the age of 10, so Alan and I were really close;

Its hard this time of year when that day comes around ( for me ) and I'm sure
its hard for his two girls, My Dad had totally forgotten about it which I guess
can be a good thing sometimes?? I don't know but I did have a lot of flashback
memories yesterday of him and I'm sitting here smiling now thinking of a few more;

Give your brother a hug for me will you?

{{love & hugs to you}}

Yes be sure to check out both of the old photo's I really loved the ones
I posted (G)!!

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I was an aunt by the time I was 4. You see, my brother, who is 18 years older than I am, married the first time the year I was born. I am four years older than his oldest son. This son is the one who gave me the horse, btw. Mother had me when she was 41. Kathy.

Wow!{{Tyc}} I had no idea that you had been through Cancer and so many
in your family too;

May I ask when you had yours??

Cancer is such a nasty thing I pray you never have to go through it again;

so far ( fingers crossed) I myself have not had any but I sure have my fair
share of other miserable health problems...(sigh)!

Sitting here reading everyone's responses to this discussion has me all teary-eyed
again and seeing my brother's photo's again did I tell you he was only 38 years
old when he passed away?

Thanks again dear friend for all your sweet comments{{love ya}}

HI Kathy: OH Wow! so you were an aunt at the age of 4 huh? GEEZZ!
Well at least he gave you the horse right?

That's more than my other brother ever did for me...

Love & hugs dear friend

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Hi Tyc; Wow! Well when it rains it pours doesn't it??

Makes you wonder just "how" we endure it all really??

so you've had no other cancer scares since then right?

I pray you won't have to endure anything like that again;

I just don't understand why there has to be such a thing as cancer and
all the ugliness that comes with it pain wise and so on;

Personally Tyc if I ever am diagnosed with some form of Cancer
I honestly don't see myself getting chemo or the radiation done;

I've just seen too much of that crap in my family, and if its my time
its my time and I don't aim to do it I really don't;

Love & hugs to you, I think I hear the bed calling me now...LOL!

Janice come to me...you need a nap!! I wish I could fall asleep as quickly
as my pets do...Man that would BE AWESOME!!!

Love & hugs to you...

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Hi Buchi_bulla: Thank you for saying that about my Brother he was a strong
person, very strong until the end there;

Yeah I've always been there for his kids and boy have they been through some
rough times over the years they both are in their mid-to late 20's now;

My brother's spirit and my Mom's spirit they both visit me quite often which
always makes me happy;

I know he had a lot of things unfinished but I guess most people do;

thank you for all of your kindness it is very much appreciated;

{{huge hugs to you}} take care dear lady;
and thank you for your prayer's....

Hi Kathy: Thank you!! My brother did suffer a lot with his Cancer ordeal
the chemo really made him so sick and he hated losing his hair most of all;
he had a wig styled just like his old hair but in the end he didn't much care
he either went around bald headed or wore a baseball cap which was so unusual
for him, he was not into sports of any kind and never ever wore a hat of any
sort until his cancer came along;

No, the grave hasn't been fixed yet My Dad hasn't felt the greatest and he has
had so many projects going on out at the farm its a mad dash to get it all done
before the bad weather comes...(sigh)!!

right now I could fall into bed myself I'm so beat been fighting with stinky
diarrhea today and yesterday, gosh maybe I'll lose a pound or two (G)!!

That's a hard way to lose weight...LOL!

I'm so close to payout but I don't think I'm gonna make it again this month
I would have to earn .98 cents today which is possible to do I've made
over a $1.00 before in a days time but that was with DSL too..not dial up!

and all I really really want to do is go lay down for awhile I'm so pathetic;

hope your day is going well its a nice day here just took my dog for a short
walk around the yard to do his "business" in case I do fall into bed for a spell.

{{love & hugs to you}}

You really have had a rough time here lately with being sick so much, haven't you? Bless your heart! I hope it won't be much longer before you will be feeling better.
Yes, cancer is very scary, that's for sure. I just hope I never get it but then, you never know. Ever since daddy had prostate cancer in 1978, I have been going for my yearly every year.
I had to have my refrigerator worked on today. Other than that, I've had a pretty good day. It just got to where it wasn't cooling like it should have been and I was concerned that I was going to have to get a new one. I didn't know how I was going to be able to afford one. However, it just turned out that the defrost timer wasn't working properly and he's going to have to order a part for the refrigerator. He fixed the timer, though. I thought what he did today was going to cost me an arm and a leg but it didn't and for that I'm thankful.
On top of that, I had water problems about two weeks ago and I was without water for a day or two. What happened was, lightning struck a valve on the timer on my water heater. I started some discussions about this and I will send you the links to them when I get a chance. This happened on Monday and the plumber came around 4:30 or 5:00 on Tuesday. He had to bypass the timer in order for me to have water. However, I had to get another plumber out here on Friday of that week to replace the solenoid valve and work on the transformer on the water heater. The first plumber who came out said he didn't work on timers. It's all so confusing to me. These workmen, especially plumbers, tell me so much until it's hard for me to remember it all and they talk so above my head, if you know what I mean. It's just been a big mess. Talk about being charged an arm and a leg, this cost me a pretty penny! I'm just gald it's all fixed and I hope I don't have any more problems like this for a while. Kathy.

HI Polly, thank you!! Wow! so it will be 4 yrs this Jan. huh?

Man doesn't the time just ZOOM BY anymore? I think it does;

Thanks for checking out the pics and the sweet comments you wrote
and the others too ... Yeah that was me back in my "human form" in 1982
now just picture me three times larger like the size of a baby whale thats
the way I am today...(sigh) it sucks!!

Yes I'm grateful that my brother is out of pain and so is my Mother thank God
for that, I dream of that day too to be honest what I wouldn't give to have
one day of 24 hrs, pain free again Wow! I just can't remember what that is like
really you know?

all I can say is THANK GOD FOR MEDS!! speaking of which I need to go take some!

how's the guy friend situation going??

take care!! keep me posted when you can (G)!!

Hi Cynthiann: I know a lot of us have "lost" a lot in our lives haven't we?

Yeah My brother was 38 yrs. old when he passed away;

They say time heals all wounds but for me so far that is not true, maybe
it is for some people but not so for me;

The pain I feel is as real as the day it all happened when he passed away
and then my Mother in April of 1997 to much pain there back to back...

take care my friend

HI Gabs: so far we've not gotten the grave stone fixed yet so much has been
going on out at the farm my Father is in a mad dash to get so many things
done before the bad weather comes...( crazy man) LOL! Yeah I wish people
would respect the cemeteries too but they don't;

Thanks for the sweet comments too on the photo did you see the one of my Brother and
I together and his daughter or not? I can't remember DUH!! AND I just was there
reading the comments too, talk about brain damaged huh? LOL!!!

mercy me!

thanks for stopping by dear friend and for your sweet comments on my pics (G)!!

love & hugs to you and give dear Gisi some love and hugs from me will you??

HI Cats: Thank you I know he lives on in my heart and I know he is
with me in spirit always, (more than you know) (G)!!

Yeah I'm grateful that he is out of pain that's for sure that final week
of him being in ICU is a vision I'd love to erase from my memory forever
but so far its not happened;

Alan was super super super close to our Father, even though he was the
middle child, him and our Father were very close;
That was one of two times I had ever seen my Father cry was when we
had to unplug the life support on him, it nearly tore me up to see him
break down like that...I guess that makes him more "human" than he is most
days...LOL!


I would have gladly traded places with my brother as I had no spouse or
two kids to leave behind like he did but I guess its not up to me to say
who goes first in death, I've always said I was born last to bury all
of my family and so far that's been the truth of it;

Hi Kellyjeanne: Yeah Alan and I were really close growing up and even
after he married and had his family;

In Fact we were so close that I knew ( had a premination)of his illness
before it happened;

I was at work ( Walmart) back in the office on a Saturday and suddenly
I started shaking and broke down crying and was freaking out my co-workers
there in the office and I was freaking out myself too I was shaking so
bad I could hardly dial my brothers stupid phone number to check on him;
he had just been taken to the hospital he had pneumonia, but a few days
later they discovered he had Non-Hodgkins lymphoma ( the kind that is supposed to be cureable) he had that mess for the first year and then the following year it became
bone cancer and that was the end of that for him, it was bad;

He had to have someone with him around the clock that whole time of 2 1/2 yrs, it
was very very draining on all of us;

I was working 2 jobs too at the time and running up and down the interstate doing my
share of spending time there with him, of a night and leaving for work in the wee
hours I honestly don't know how I survived it all; for any of us;

during that time too he tried to end his life 3 times and failed at it 3 times
can't blame him really chemo does such a number on you and the pain too drives one
mad; it was bad Kellyjeanne, it was bad;

Wish I could push a button and just erase all the bad memories of that you know?

I had a premination too of my Mother's illness before it happened and that was another very long ordeal...very long story...well I can't talk about it all anymore can't
see for the tears in my eyes...its a full moon week coming and my emotions are
all over the map...

Yea, I can see how traumatic his death was for you. Hugs to you, sweetie.
Purrs,
Catwoman=^..^= & Mija