Keeping my head up as best I can. Thinking positive can go a long way!

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Hello fellow mylotters....I have posted many discussions on happenings in my life as many of you know I've had alot of downs and have been diagnosed depressed to dealing with an ex Mother N Law and and ex husband lack there of.... I have found faith again and have put my life in the Lords hands and I couldn't feel better about it....I'm starting to go back to church not the church I was raised with but still am putting my foot back in the door.....I will continue to discover which church is best for me.... I am trying not to be discouraged I feel alone in the sense of a signifanct other and feel why do I attrack the loosers so to speak....I met a guy thought he was sweet turned out that he was a guy I should not associate with....Will I ever find true love? I'm happy and living life and raising my kids but sometimes I feel more alone in the matter of when my kids get sick or something....I do not have a drivers license and have to depend on others if it is in the middle of the night....My son had a stomach ache yesterday he is 16 and my daughter is 3 it was nothing serious and I prayed hard about it....but he feels comfy with having me at the doctors with him and to drag my 3 year old what a mess sometimes but these are my kids and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them....But I find myself getting angry at my ex husband for abandoning us like he did....He has been gone over a year of their life and has shown no intention of being there for them as when he lived in the city and I needed his help to get our daughter to the doctor he refused and stayed away.....I'm trying to learn to forgive him through the lord but I feel sometimes evil in the sense I wish he would get a taste of his own medicine....I do have negative thoughts in bad situations sometimes but I try to see the positive...Any suggestions of how to get rid or learn not to be sometimes yet so angry at my ex ?