Freaking Out

Kaava is a good natural herb, so I have heard. I have never taken it but I know people who swear by it. Remember these feelings though. The next time you want to take out debt, remember this feeling. Debt makes you a slave to the lender. Don't fall into the same trap in the future. Make a game plan so you never get here again. Best wishes for a speedy recovery

I don't know about any herbal or natural pill, but I hope your stress comes to an end soon. If you need to cry, cry, sometimes it helps quite a bit.

I can't remember the what the stuff is called, but it is from milk...gee, lots of help isn't it?

I can feel what you're going through right now. You do have to remember a few things about filing bankruptcy. First, you probably feel like a failure. It isn't true. It is so easy to get credit cards and buy the stuff now and pay for it later...it is a result of the ad campaigns of the late fifties to the early 60's. Then they also were pushing that you had to have better things than your neighbors. So to do this you needed to create bigger debt. We all are trained from an early age that we HAVE to succeed and be the best we can at everything we do. I was expected to be perfect, and it is a problem that I still haven't overcome and I am well over 40 years old. Learn from the problems and try to save for the stuff you want. One of the best things I have ever learned is to ask myself if the item I am buying is a "want" or a "need". I will put the item back and if I still don't buy it a week later it was a want.

Your freaking out shows that you have a conscious! Just keep in mind that there are no debtors prisons anymore and they can't come and take you away. Bankruptcy laws have changed a lot through the years, and you might lose a few things, but not everything. It will go on your credit report and it might figure into your buying a house years later, but it won't kill you. I realize that it is embarrassing to have to file bankruptcy, but that too will pass.

One really good herb for calming down and also getting sleep is cat nip. Yes, cat nip.

I have checked my healing herbs book, and one of the herbs they recommend is cat nip. Yes, cat nip. I've used it a lot myself. You brew it like a tea. You take two teaspoons of cat nip (dried) per cup of boiling water. You allow it to steep for 10 to 20 minutes, do not boil the cat nip as it will dissipate its healing oil. The book says to drink two to three cups a day. Just don't get the over powering urge to hunt for mice.

Chamomile is another good herb to help settle bad nerves. You can find it in the grocery store in various teas. Tryptophan, a product of milk is also another good tranquilizer.

Try not to be too hard on yourself, a lot of people feel that bankruptcy is a sign of failure. You haven't failed. There is a lot of pressure from society to have it all, and if you can't buy it for cash, use credit. It started in the 1950's of buying stuff now and paying later. Then in the 1960's you had to have what the neighbor had, only better. It has escalated from there. I have neighbors that have gotten hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt to show that they are successful. Possessions aren't a sign of success, it is the way that you live your life and treat others that are a sign of success.

You also have to feel awful about the fact that you are admitting defeat and filing bankruptcy. It seems like one missed payment on a credit card brings the tower of credit tumbling down. You aren't admitting defeat by filing bankruptcy. And, the court won't send you to debtor's prison (they don't have those anymore). You may lose a few items to creditors, but it won't be everything. Bankruptcy has changed a lot through the years (I studied it in business law. What changed is what is considered necessary for comfortable living.). The judge and who ever else who is involved may seem imposing, but you need to realize that they have somewhere along the line also had financial problems. They can't cook you and eat you!

Allow yourself that good cry. It will make you feel a LOT better. It also will relax you too. I have had a lot go on in the past few years (including today) that have had me in the same emotional state that you're in. I allowed myself a good cry and I was able to sleep and then found that I was able to function again after getting a good night's sleep. Also, find something to do that is extremely physical. Tonight when I got home, I spent a few hours cleaning and sorting. I was able to sit down and relax. When I get stressed I clean house, the exercise will release good endorphins that will make you feel better and also relax you and help you to sleep.

The feeling of panic is natural too. You don't know what is going to happen with filing for bankruptcy. Fear of the unknown is one of the greatest fears that a person can have. Step back, and understand that they can't do anything bad to you. Yes, bankruptcy is embarrassing as it is showing that you failed. But you also have to look at it like it isn't like you've killed someone. You simply got in over your head and there is no other way out. No one is going to point at you and scream to the world "They filed bankruptcy". There isn't going to be a full page ad in the local paper and there isn't going to be an announcement on CNN. Shoot, look at what Ed McMahon went through before he died. You aren't a well known celebrity so it won't be broadcast.

I wish I could be there to sit and talk to you and let you voice your fears and panic. It would also be much easier to cry with someone there to hold you close and tell you everything will be okay. Believe me it will be. The one thing you will need to do is measure how you spend. I learned the want and need philosophy. I will pick up an item and if it isn't a necessity I will ask myself if the item is "a want or a need". If it doesn't fit into the need column, then I put it back and if I don't go back for it in a week, I didn't really want or need it. It stops a person from spending money just to spend it. I also have simplified my life a LOT. I don't buy a lot of things just to have possessions around me. It has helped me a bunch.

Try the cat nip. If it is too icky to drink alone, add a bag of tea to the brew, and it makes it much easier to drink, although I found that on its own it is pretty tasty to drink...just filter the leaves out of the cup before you drink the tea otherwise your poop might look funny.

Someone has already mentioned catnip. Valerian - but I recommend capsules rather than a tea because it isn't the nicest of flavours.

The other thing I wanted to say is that I've known several people who have been through bankruptcy and they came through it okay.

Sit down and ask what it is about the bankruptcy that is freaking you. Concentrate on the things that matter - where you are going to live and such. Forget about any _stuff_ you might lose, it is just stuff. Forget about "what other people think" you are not responsible for the inside of their heads and it isn't their business.