“IF ONLY…..” What sad words! I heard these at a funeral this week.  | |  “IF ONLY…..” What sad words! I’ve heard them many times before. “If only. . .”
“If only I had listened to him, he might still be alive” or
“If only I’d told her I forgive her before she died”
So sad … but I've also heard "If only" as an excuse many times from many people . .
“If only I’d had better parents”
“If only I’d had a better childhood”
“If only I’d studied harder at school”
“If only I didn’t have this bad back”
“If only I’d married a better man”
“If only I’d invested that lottery win instead of wasting it”
It reminds me of a true story.
A man had a garden which could have been beautiful, but he had a problem. An immense boulder was deeply embedded. He tried to blast it out but only shattered the windows. He refused to work on the rest of the garden while that eyesore remained, so he continued to use one harsh measure after another to remove it, but all without success. He bitterly bemoaned his lot.
A few years later he died from worry and frustration, complaining that “if only” he had been able to remove that boulder, he could have had the most beautiful garden in the district.
His nephew inherited the house and moved in. He perceived the hopelessness of removing the boulder, so he converted it into a rockery, covered with frescoes, flowers and ferns. The eyesore became the centrepiece and the biggest attraction of the magnificent garden.
How often do we face our problems with “If only . . .”
Have you changed an "if only" to an "in spite of" and used it as an opportunity?
“If only I could be free of this problem, I could be different!”
“If only I’d had parents who cared, I’d be different today”
“If only I'd had more opportunities …”
“If only I had more spare time...”
Some apt sayings:
# Problems can make you soar above - or just plain sore!
# Where there are no trials - there are no triumphs
# When life hands you a lemon - make lemonade!
# He who is good at making excuses is seldom good at anything else.
| |
| |
| | | | | | | | 1.  dawnald (10362) | 2 months ago |  Well there you go making me think again...
I'm posting about veggies and you come up with this wonderful inspirational stuff.:-)
Sadly, this reminds me of my parent marriage. They never figured out what to do with the durn rock and there was a lot of bitterness in mom's last years. I'm not going to let myself be like that.
| |
| |
|
|
 cloudwatcher (3491) | 2 months ago | So are you going to turn that "durn rock" into something beautiful? I hope so! | |
|
|
| dawnald (10362) | 2 months ago | One way or the other! | |
|
| | Spider Vein Treatment - No. VA McLean Vein Center Offers Multiple Treatments for Spider Veins. DC.Vein-Treatment.com | add comment |
|
| | | 2. nyhollyjean (369) | 2 months ago |  Since you know a lot of my history, I won't bother to go through it all again. Suffice it to say that I wasted a lot of my early years thinking about if "onlys". I am one of the fortunate ones, as due to a few major crises--I learned to make the best of things, instead of them taking the best of me. I have learned my lesson and have tried to pass the word on to others.
I use the lemons to make lemonade phrase quite often, but I usually say this instead. When life hands you lemons, grab some tequila mix and call me!:-)
| |
| |
|
| |
| nyhollyjean (369) | 2 months ago | My favorite "hard" drink--the lovely Marguerita. But, I only have one once a year now. | |
|
|
| dawnald (10362) | 2 months ago | We have found a Mexican restaurant nearby that's decent and we go there some Friday nights, so I have one a wee bit more often, like 2 or 3 times a month. | |
|
|
| nyhollyjean (369) | 2 months ago | Lucky Dawn! Next time, have one for me too, please--at least one of us will get to enjoy it! lol | |
|
| | Need Foreclosure List? Get Bank Owned Foreclosure List Houses Under 10K Free Webinar www.ReoGoldMiner.com | add comment |
|
| | | 3. paintswithwords (374) | 2 months ago |  How timely a topic when so many problems plague people today. Oh, there have been times I found myself making excuses. Then I would wake up one morning and take the mental whip to myself and put the old spirit to work.
We all have a tendency to moan our lot at times. And yes, the cliche is true, "It could be worse". Even though it may not seem so, once we get off our derriere and get moving in a positive direction, things have a way of taking care of themselves.
I like the lesson here, there is always a way to be happy, alive and vital. Success does not mean problem free, accomplishment merely means no obstacle stands in the way. For obstacles are only illusions we put there ourselves. It is how we view things as so aptly illustrated by your story.
One man viewed the boulder as a stumbling block and therefore never obtained the garden he wanted. The nephew, understanding that some things may have to be dealt with and worked around saw it an something to benefit from and grew a beautiful garden.
Thank you for such a beautiful reminder to 'change what we can, accept what we cannot change and recognize the difference' and in that way we can be successful and not feel the need to cry out 'If only"
Once again in your wisdom you have given us food for thought.
| |
| |
|
|
| cloudwatcher (3491) | 2 months ago | You pinpointed the main point here. We need to recognise that there are some things we cannot change, but be willing to change what we can, and either way to gain the greatest benefit.
Sometimes I think that as we become older we go to more and more funerals, and it has happened so often that in talking with the bereaved, I hear "If only I'd . . ." or "I wish I'd . . ." It is so sad. I know there are times we don't have time to say things we should, because death is sometimes so unexpected, but when the person is old and hasn't been at all well, WHY aren't they said? What a pleasure it is to hear someone say "I'm so glad I . . . before she died"
| |
|
| | ABC Limo Service Chauffer Limo services in Dc, Va, Md. Flat rate to all airports. . www.limowashington.com | add comment |
|
| | | 4. gabs8513 (19833) | 2 months ago |  I am not being notified of your Discussions I only found the other one because I was browsing
Well I would say many a time I have changed if only to an in spite of, even though I could never help thinking at first if only
But no matter how many if only.... it can only be faced and solved with in spite of
| |
| |
|
|
| cloudwatcher (3491) | 2 months ago | Hi Gaby. Yes, it is true that if we leave our "if only" eating away at us, we will never get anywhere. When we face it, stand up and get on with life "in spite of" we have a chance of triumphing over the lost opportunity or the calamity or whatever form the "if only" takes. We cannot live in the past.
I know you have overcome some "if only" times and you will continue to be an overcomer. | |
|
| | Washington Nursing Jobs 8-26Wk Nursing Jobs in Washington Make $95,000yr + Benefits. www.TravelNursesNow.com/washington | add comment |
|
| | | | | |
| Washington Nursing Jobs
8-26Wk Nursing Jobs in Washington Make $95,000yr + Benefits.
www.TravelNursesNow.com/washington | |
Back in Action Spinecare & Rehab
Chiropractic - Spinal Decompression - Rehabilitation - Nutrition.
www.virginiachiro.com | |
Used Honda Trucks at Yahoo!
Certified Used Cars in Washington, DC. Shop for a Honda Used Car.
www.honda.com/yahoo | |
nuclear medicine jobs maryland
Find a Nuclear Medicine Job near DC on Washingtonpost.com's Job Guide.
www.washingtonpost.com/jobs | |
600 Washington
Find top-rated Apartment Finders near you Try Citysearch® now
Newyork.Citysearch.com | |
Insurance Captive Solutions
The Taft Companies, an Insurance Captive and consulting group, provides captive management in Bermuda, Washington DC, South Carolina and Montana.
www.taftcos.com | |
Moving Services, WA
Free Truck Rental with move in. Reserve now. No CC required.
www.MiniuStorage.com | |
Travel to Washington DC
Why Wait? Browse Travelzoo's Washington DC Travel Deals Now.
www.Travelzoo.com | |
Washington DC Day Spas
Find beauty & day spa listings in the DC area at YELLOWPAGES.COM.
yellowpages.com | |
Great Variety of Washington DC Souvenirs
Great selection of Washington DC Souvenirs. We have shot glasses, caps, coins, mugs, bells, magnets, keychains, golfballs, photo frames, playing cards, mouse pads, sweatshirts and more.
www.pdsouvenir.com | |
|
