The conflict between mother in law and son's wife, common in the whole world?

maybe it's beacause mathers don't want to giveup to their role. and wifes...well they are the new woman playing that role... don't you think so?

Well, as what I have observed, usually the mother wants to bear the total control over her son if her son grew up dependently with his parents. As the mother always wanted to keep an eye to his son as what she usually do. I think the parents should practice their son to grow up independently so he could live normally without depending on them when he is going to build his own family. And also as a son, a future head of a family, should care to practice himself to be independent so that his parents could trust him, giving his freedom to build his won family without keeping an eye to him. In this way, maybe such case would be lessen.

Dear Borhan,

I think this problem can be traced back to centuries.
In Chinese word, back to its origin... the word 'trouble'
consist of a 'house/wall having two woman in it'. This means
the person who creates the Chinese character/word of 'trouble'
knows exactly what is 'real' trouble is!

Two women want to take charge of the kitchen and the household.
Two also want to win, how?? I have seen many many cases like this.
Most men nowadays choose their wife instead of mother.

However, it is much better or different scenario if the wife stays
with their own mother instead of husband mother. Do you notice that?

I guess it has to do with not wanting to lose the control over the son. I think when a mom wants to continue to control and tell a wife how to take care of her son that is a big problem. Once a parent or the mom raise a child it is not for them to continue to control and that is where the problem arising. I have never had that problem thank god. My daughter is married and her mother-in-law and her get alone great. As for my Mom she has always stayed out of her kids business. If asked about anything she will give her opinion but that is it. I know one mother who's son is not apart of her family any longer because I believe it had to do with the controlling that the mom couldn't let go. So now the son has not talked to his mother in years. Its a terrible thing but unfortunately that is the way it is. Its a great thing though when all get along with no controlling issues.

These kinds of arguements happen between all members of the family. Still they all live happily together. But if a mother in law and daughter in law has difference of opinion, why people make it such a big issue. If they are left alone without any interference, they too will solve it out and live as others do. People around them try to find the cause reason etc and make it worse. I too have a daughter in law and we are living very normally. I do scold her as I do my son, when I find some mistake. She too makes faces as my own children, when they disagree...but as a mother I don't care that. Mothers duty is to correct children, and they like to disagree. That's life.

Well apart from the mother in law wanting to control her son, some of them feel that thier daughter in law are not good enough for thier sons. Some of them would like to choose thier sons wife for them or if the woman does not live up to the expectation they want for thier son they dislike her. Some mother in laws feel a woman will destroy the relationship between them and thier sons. There are a lot of reasons why mothers dislike thier daughter in laws.

it is very common thing. the mother feels unsecured or never want to leave her son
whom she loved very much(possessiveness).the daughter in law has the same possessiveness .elder person has the responsibility to tackle this problem
my mother in law never interferes in our life though we live in a joint family
this is the reason our family is going smooth when elders adjust even younger ones think about it n give way to smooth living.

It is axiomatic that every mother who brought his child up right from offspring to a stage where he is responsible and can work things out on his own. A good mother who never want a lady(son's wife) to gain or to take advantage of her labor, this happens most especially when the mother only bears the cross of a child from the scratch. This also as a lot to do with the son's wife as well... Most wife miss-use little advantage given to them whereby dictating to their husband most especially tell her husband to get rid off his mother( i don't want mother to stay with us, This gift is too much for your mother e.t.c). In conclusion, i think the wife is majorly at fault when it comes to conflict between the mother and son's wife. A Youruba adage says "husband's house is a learning house"

One hundred percent true....I am witnessing it and it seems to be a mystery...in the morning they will smile and evening the argument starts if they smile in the evening the argument will be started next morning...but both say we never say a word against each other... ...No wonder why Popeye keep on saying that..''women are confusing''

As long as there are mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law, there is bound to be some kind of conflict. You can not join two families into one without it. Both women in a head of household position want the same thing. They want to be the one in control, and the one in charge. The husband usually stays out of the disagreements because one is his wife and the other is his mother. He won't win. Many families do find a way to get along amicably once they become in-laws. With others, it just takes more time to cross that bridge.