Boyfriend problems.

Two things. First is your parents and second is your boyfriend. About your parents, there's no need to argue with them. Instead, talk things over. Pretty sure if you talk and open it up to them in a more calm and civil way, they will just understand. It might not be right there and then but in time they'd just think about it and understand your part. Irregardless of your culture, as long as your boyfriend is a good, responsible, and trustworthy man, I don't think there could be any problems with it. But your parents concerns could be justified too. There might be some customs about your boyfriend's culture or your family's culture that might hinder or cause some concerns. But they key, be civil. Don't argue, it will just make their defenses rise.

About your boyfriend, having some feelings of insecurity is very normal in a relationship. What he's feeling could not be insecurity really but trauma. Being cheated on is a very traumatic experience and it really sticks to one's mind. You can never blame your boyfriend on feeling that way. The best you can do is to give and show him some assurance that you'll always be there for him and that you'll never leave him. Communicate with him very often and sweet talk him. From time to time, tell and assure him how much you love him and how he means to you. Make and spend time with him, create and do something out of your usual routine, surprise him, prioritize his decisions, and more importantly, if both of you are already in the right age right now, start talking about the future and let him know that you see him in your future. Such little things could really mean a lot. Relationships are like that, they need to be tended to so it would grow. It's growth is gradual and good relationships doesn't happen overnight. Put your relationship ahead and make it your priority. If your boyfriend will know and feel that you're putting him and your relationship ahead, his feelings of insecurity and trauma will later on subside. All it needs is some little sweet talk and loving action.

Just so you know one of the biggest things that end up ruining relationships later on down the line is the fact that parents don't like the guy or the other way around. Strain gets started then and someone has to choose family or their husband, and husbands can come and go but your family is your blood so therefore its the most likely choice. So you are going to have to talk to him about that and see if there is anything you can do.

Other than that there is something else you have to think about and that is whether or not you approve of him smoking. You bringing it up seems like you don't. Yes its illegal, but still how do you view it? Some people don't mind it but if you don't like that and you're holding a grudge then its always going to bug you and its going to ruin things sooner or later.

And then with him being insecure. If my boyfriend was that way I would leave him over it. Yeah cut him a little slack but after being with each other for a few months, 6 months max, and if you haven't even had the slightest slip then he should trust you. If not he is never going to get over it and it isn't your problem to fix anymore. Move on.

There are other guys out there that aren't a welfare case.

I have a few things to say about your post.

First, I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time.

Now about your parents -

Well, as parents, they are concerned for your well being and instead of arguing, why not try to have a heart to heart with them and just be civil. No need to raise your tones at them or try and get into an argument. It's counterproductive. Try and understand that they are only acting in your best interest.

As for your boyfriend -

I don't really see why you should be the one to sort through his insecurities. He has to do that himself. If his ex gfs cheated on him before, that doesn't necessarily mean that ALL women are horrible bimbos. And, for him to still "feel" that way when you're not cheating is an insult to YOU.

I personally would not date anyone who gets high because life is hard. It shows a weakness in character. I noticed your age on your profile so I am assuming that your boyfriend is around your age, too. If he goes to a boys' school and gets heckled, well, most of us go through that. Assuming that he doesn't get violently bullied, I would say we all experience similar things at one point in our teenage years. What is not normal is if a person feels the need to get high in order to feel better.

As for you -

You don't want to leave and you want to prove to him that you're sincere. Let me ask you this. What has HE done to prove his worth to YOU? What has HE done to show YOU that HE is different?

From what I am reading, it seems like you're allowing him to abuse you by letting him "say mean things" when he thinks you are cheating. Then you also say: "He is sweet, etc."

I don't know you personally but if you keep letting this happen, you will let it happen with other people in your life as well. He seems to have such a hold on you.

It is not your responsibility to fix him and his issues. I suggest you encourage him but you can only do so much. You can't help a person that doesn't want to help himself. That's the best advice I can give in terms of you helping him.

Personally, if you were my sister/ friend, I would advise you to stop seeing the guy because it's an unhealthy relationship. He's bringing you down with his issues. It's not the way it's supposed to be.

And lastly, you have so much concern over him. What about you?

The best thing you can do in this is, above all, LOVE YOURSELF before you love another person intimately because if you don't realize your self worth, you will always love your partner more than he loves you. I wish you all the best.

Sleep with him ... lol jking Honestly I don't know if there is much you can do about either of those problems. You can't make your parents like him and you can't make him feel more secure that you aren't going to leave him. Although I find it hard that every single one of his past girlfriends cheated on him I mean really everyone? Has he only had like 2 or 3 girlfriends? Anyways I guess all you can do is continue to do what you have been in loving him and showing him that you care for him too much to ever hurt him like that. Maybe eventually he will start to believe that what you guys have is real and your not just faking it. Just always remind him how you feel don't let it slip as some couples do the longer they are together. Let him no you will always be there for him and would do anything for him. Or maybe do what I said in the begining to let him no how much you care i don't know. Whatever works for you.

Hi there hanan! I'm so sorry to hear that you're having issues like this.
Well, what can i say? as for your parents, i believe that later on, they are gonna accept him because you love him. You may find it difficult for them to do that now maybe but time will come. They have to understand that relationship can work whether you have the same culture or not. And believe me, later on, they are going to realize how important and how you deeply love this guy.
As for your boyfriend, he probably have a trauma of his previous relationships so he is insecure at times, though he loves you. Insecurity and trust are not two similar words. Let him know of that! Its one key to successful relationship as we all know. I guess you just need to do what you're doing constantly for about two years. Like giving him affection and show him that you care and really love him. You know more about it than me, i know:)
People when depress tried to say mean things and that includes your guy.This is just normal especially when you're really agitated. With regard to this, you can probably ask him to avoid doing that to you.Its not good to hear those words from when he is mad and say sweet things again when he is already okay.You can talk about it and let him know that you are hurt for such thing. Who knows? Maybe he can realized that he should NEVER do that and try to build his trust to you and be not insecure anymore.. After all, you both know how much you love each other.
Good luck to you!

Wow you're some girlfriend, i wish i had one just like you, that man is one lucky guy, i envy him. Looks like your man got issues people push him around like that, the only thing you can do to show that you're different from them is to stay at his side ready with heavy artillery of understanding, encouragement, compassion and all kinds of stuff that only a woman can give.

In my opinion it's important to think about why your parents don't like him. Is the difference of cultures the only reason? If he was the same culture as you would they accept him? Or is it some other reason?

I dated a guy who was jealous all the time. His girlfriends had cheated on him and he also was fearful. In my situation I got angry, I said I'm not his ex girlfriends, nor am I that sort of person and the fact he thinks I would cheat was insulting.

And for some reason that seemed to work with him, he had faith in me because I addressed it head on.

As for being depressed and saying mean things to you, that has nothing to do with you. These are his own issues and I hate to say it, but you can't help him, he has to help himself. He is insecure because of his past and is taking it out on you, all you can do is show him you love him and you wouldn't hurt him and if he can't accept that move on.

Well,, If I were in your shoe. I would show him how much I love him and how sincere I am by going out together, having a simple date, talk often,giving some simple stuffs and of course I'll let him come to my house and introduce my parents, relatives and friends.However, your case is different 'cause your parents are against him. So that he won't be thinking bad thoughts against you, you must introduce him to your parents. And so your relationship will be a bit okay. And then,do the next step.

Unfortunately I hate to say it but this isn't something that you can really do anything about. It isn't like he is feeling like this because of something that you personally did to him, this is just how he feels from past experiences. Personally I think that the only thing that you can really do is continue to show him that you love him and that you will never leave him. I was once in a relationship like this and I have to warn you that it took years for my boyfriend to feel secure enough to believe in our relationship. I think that it is hard when your family doesn't really approve of the person you are seeing, but if you really love him and he is someone that you can see yourself growing old with, you have to stick to your guns and make your family understand that if they love you, they will support your choice. I think that you and your man will be just fine, he just needs time to get used to the idea that you aren't like the other girls that ave been in his life. Keep strong and things will work out in the end, happy mylotting.

lmao, same thing i have been through friend,
It is not fair that you are suffering the negative effects of other b**ches.
He is obviously paranoid you will leave him, but it's not fair that he says mean things to you.
Tell him that he is only making the situation worst by doing so.
Only time can help him sort this out, the longer the relationship the less often these thoughts will cross his mind.
And btw smoking is absolutely not a problem safer than alcohol & Tobacco:)