A love that is started and must have to end...my story...

It's been a year since I haven't share something personal about me. I have ben in love before but I can only weigh on the level of just an infatuation. My story started when I met these five people at work. We were a bunch of young ones who are believers that we can achieve our dreams in the near future. We were new in this one company, we are always together. When I'm with them it seems like the world stops when we are having fun. It seems that these people are my soulmates. To hide their identity let me just give them a different name since I decided to confess something. Of the five person, one of the guy became close to me. He is the picture of a guy who looks difficult to talk with because he is always quiet, but he is kind and caring. He looks snob but not until I knew him. Despite the pretty boy image, he do not admit it, he has a less confidence about his physical appearance. Let me name him James. Then another guy is the source of laughter in the group, let me name him as JOhn. The other cute guy, who is very sensitive and very true to his feelings will be Joey. The youngest of us is Mae(not her true name), she is shy. She don't want to be left with the guys, it is necessary that I am there when we are all together. As the day walks in our life, we became really really close. James and I, whom are close pal before found our own bestfriends. James found Joey and John, and of course Mae found me. Then the day comes when I really don't have an idea what is happening in our group, Mae seems to be more shy than before. Mae shared with me that Joey is courting her. I am happy for them and even acted as their bridge of communication through text sometimes. One time me and Mae decided to separate from the guys for the meantime, because she told me she have to tell me her biggest problem. Mae told me he likes Joey, but she only like it as a friend. For her the guy that makes her heart beat faster is James. She don't want to ruin the friendship of the two, but she wants to follow her heart. Mae being the shy, ask my help is she have a chance with James. I helped her, I do the observation discreetly. Its difficult to say if James have a feelings too because he is very discreet too. When Mae and James had a chance to talk, I will see James running in the middle to interrupt them.Joey is obviously jealous. Because of that, I adviced her to wait for James if he will like her in the future.I had the feeling that James maybe like her too, but because Joey is his close pal, he is being careful about it.

Do you wonder where is my character, well here it is. Yesterday in the office, just this day i begin to observed James do talk a lot, which he seldom do. James is more of a listener than a talker. I also noticed that he always glimpse on wher the table of Mae is. Then I had this weird feeling that I am not happy about it.

Everytime we go home, we meet outside the building for a little chat a little, then we go our own way after. But yesterday, I leave Mae alone waiting for me outside. I want her to be alone, I want to see if James will come to her and have a chance to her. I texted Joey and John a wrong message that someone from the other department is looking for them and they have to return to our office for it. So that no Joey will interrupt them.

And then it happen, I was hiding in one part of concierge area. James came, he instantly saw Mae alone. He approached her. They talked. I had seen on both eyes, a different happiness. Their eyes are both shinning. their smile is worth a million. Even the way they breathe its just so fast. I had seen on James that he has a feelings for Mae. I concluded that he only hide it. His gesture shows it, even Mae's reaction, she is like giving a positive sign to James. I felt sadness inside. My heart was like crumpled paper dumped into the garbage. I cannot move an inch, even I don't want to see the next move, I can't move and walk away. Then the two decided to walk out and continue the talk until they were gone in my sight. I went home in blue. As I was journeying to my home, a tear was falling and I tried to hide it from the people besides me inside the vehicle. it was really strange to me, how can I be hurt so much but what I saw, when even for the first time I knew it all? I was so dumb and stubborn, I didn't realize that I have a growing feelings for James. When I was home, I received a text message from Mae and she said she really have a good time talking to James and she wish that it will continue. She even include how he love the guy so much. I cried after reading it. I did not reply. I am so sorry for Mae of having this kind of reaction. I later realized we love the same guy. Now I am confused. i don't want to be an obstacle to both of them, but I can't wish them the best. I can't. What i know is that I have a feelings that it is just started but I guess I have to end.

Thanks for reading, thanks for the time. Now I know the meaning of love, LOVE HURTS.