When two of your close friends who are in a relationship broke up...
By arystine
@arystine (1273)
Philippines
December 9, 2009 7:09am CST
My circle of friends consist of my classmates during high school. We're always going out, whether for drinking or dancing in the city, or going out of town. We've always been a fun bunch. Until two of our friends who used to be lovers broke up. Now, it feels so awkward. Sometimes, both of them are present during our intimate parties but you can feel the tension in the air. Most of the time, one of them is absent coz one is trying to avoid the other. It's driving us crazy but we're trying to understand the situation. We just miss the old times but I guess it will take time to bring back the comfortable friendship we used to have.
If you are in the same situation as mine, what would you do? Sometimes, I feel as if my two friends want me to take sides. Aaarrgh!
1 person likes this
4 responses
@TickleMeBreathless (590)
• United States
16 Dec 09
I've been there, and it does take time. It sucks in the meantime while the two are still working on getting to be friends again, but once it's all done and over with it'll be worth the wait.
When my friends decided to make me choose after they had broke up, I said this, almost word for word: "I love you both equally, and I refuse to take a side. If you want to talk crap about the other one in front of me it's fine, just don't expect me to answer back. And if you aren't okay with that, then I won't hang out with either of you until this situation is settled."
My other friends who were in the same situation agreed with me, and eventually the two decided it wasn't worth leaving the rest of us, so they finally learned how to get along. They both have made an agreement not to talk about their new partners around each other though. That way there's no tension.
@TickleMeBreathless (590)
• United States
16 Dec 09
Haha, thank you! =] I find it hard to deal with situations like this, but in time they will both realize that they'll either have to live with each other, or without each other AND their friends. I bet your friends will come to their senses eventually.
And yes, my friends did that too. It didn't matter what they were complaining about the other person for, it was always something new. I was like "You broke up, why are you still irritated with them?" Haha, funny actually, I got them both to stop by saying to each one "You know, Zoey doesn't talk like this behind your back." and "Brian doesn't talk about you like that! He doesn't really talk about you at all."
After that they both stopped trashing each other, because they thought the other one wasn't doing it. =p
@ruchimom (280)
• Australia
16 Dec 09
It sounds like the movie Mean Girls
Yes it is weird situation but I have been in a same situation,
It is funny how both of you want you on their side and want you to take sides
I used to just stay neutral as I didn't want to amke any of them sad
Hope that helps!!!!
@cobradene (1171)
• India
16 Dec 09
I can understand, and that's one of the worst situations to be in. Makes me feel suffocated at the thought of it. It's too difficult to be friends again, and trust me some time or the other, they will end up getting involved again, and it will lead to further complications, and yes, again they will end up fighting. It's a never ending process. You just got to let it heal, and stay away for a while. You need to tell one of them to take a long break away for sometime, and not see each other till the wounds are healed. There is no point being present in the same place at the same time only to rub salt on wounds.
@kykidd (6812)
• United States
9 Dec 09
I hate it when the two people want you to take sides. That just isn't fair. The best thing to do if they talk bad about the other person, is to say something like "I love them like sister". And that will usually quiet them down.
My neighbors of 12 years got a divorce, and it was really hard for me. We both bought our houses right next door to each other within 4 months of each other. So we were discovering things together. The wife moved out, and wanted me to take sides. But the husband was still my neighbor, and I felt obligated to him. Eventually, she ended up moving far away, so that made it easier.
