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Is Marriage Dreaded?  email this discussion to a friend?

wkibaki (13)   ranked 16,137 out of 19,197 in relationships 3 years ago

If the wedding day is such a blissful experience, why do the newlyweds-to-be spend separate nights out with 'boys only' or 'girls only' and have the time of their lives before the d-day, with lots of tears (alleged 'happy') in the girls-only group? Is there a notion of dread???

 

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tags:  love, marriage, relationships
 
1. myLot reputation of 75/100. macoyv70 (281)   ranked 5,345 out of 19,197 in relationships   3 years ago

The word dread is a very strong word to describe getting married. If it is a dread then why in the world do people marry? May there is a bit of dread for those who are reluctant to take greater responsibility and change in their lives. Newly weds go to honeymoon after the wedding not go separate groups. but i guess in some cultures they but generally where I live they don't. After the wedding they get to spend time together.


wkibaki (13)   ranked 16,137 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

There are a few things I noticed you've missed. First I say one day BEFORE the wedding, the husband-to-be (not yet married) with the best man and all his friends and male relatives normally go out to drink, make merry and have fun in the night and others even over-do things and they spend the wedding day itself in a drunken stupor. The same with the wife-to-be and her friends. Obviously after the wedding the couples are together in their honeymoon and life afterward. My concern is about that partying hard before the heading and the ladies tend to cry a lot and the man normally asks a lot of prodding questions to himself and his friends. Thanks for your comment though!


myLot reputation of 75/100. macoyv70 (281)   ranked 5,345 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

sorry I guess I wasn't in my right concentration when I was responding. But anyway i think the stag party and the ladies version is not a manifestation of "dread".

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2. myLot reputation of 99/100. LovingLife139 (1003)   ranked 356 out of 19,197 in relationships   3 years ago

Hmm...well, ever since I met my husband I've never wanted a girl's only night. He tends to be all I want day after day. Whenever I'm with friends or even family and he's not there I find myself wanting to get home to him ASAP. lol Our wedding was just the two of us...I wanted no friends or family there because I didn't feel they were a part of "us". So I was in no way dreading the wedding or marriage.

Marriage is a whole new chapter of life. If you do it right, you will die alongside this person. For some people, this realization brings the thought that life as you know it will cease. Lots of people want to have one last night out with their group of friends before being married and then being busy with the honeymoon and getting settled in whatever place they've decided. The beginning of marriage comes with a ton of things you have to figure out and it's not a far stretch to see that many won't have the time to have another friend's night until all of it is done and settled.

For us, we didn't have bachelorette or bachelor parties because I hate the idea of them. I've always been super serious about marriage and I never wanted a male stripper or any type of "entertainment" that was against my own beliefs at my party, so I simply didn't have one. The same for my husband. Many will tell you that despite a happy companionship with one's spouse, you still may want to "get away" some nights and have a friend's night. For me that isn't true...I want to spend every waking moment with my husband. But I can understand that many people value friends very highly and want to see them often. happy

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3. myLot reputation of 79/100. slaveofsensation (320)   ranked 12,786 out of 19,197 in relationships   3 years ago

I will never get married not because I Dread the expensive party where everyone drinks and eats at your expense (although it does not sound fun to me) Mainly I will not marry because I do not really believe in the Christian Ideals that come with it. I have been proposed to twice(when I was Very Young)and I have been with my current Boyfriend for 8 years, so It definitely was not the notion of not being able to find the right one I just have no desire to stand in front of all of my friends and Swear my undying love for someone cause chances are (statistically speaking) you are lying and one thing I don't do is Lie.


wkibaki (13)   ranked 16,137 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

Well, well... does it mean that you don't have 'undying' love for your boyfriend? Why do we mostly like using figures and statistics when giving opinions even concerning emotions? your comments also makes me ask; does love die somewhere along the path of life or marriage? Or do you just get into a routine and settle for less as a compromise?

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