Neat vs Not Neat! Would a Marriage Between Opposites in Neatness Survive??  

...Hi ben87333angel, That is the crucial part of the whole thing, you love him in spite of it all. If you can't get along with a person on the big things, your goals, your values in life, then the fact that you both are neat or you both are not neat does not matter. Neatness will not keep you together, caring about each other will. When you guys get married, hopefully, give him a room to himself where he can be as carefree as he wants, "o) without being bothered, if he keeps the rest of the house neat. That's what I used to say I wanted, as I am very junky. I function out of a state of organized confusion. Take care, don't try to change him, some of us are inherently junky, try to increase your tolerence level. It may start to be like white noise. He will try to change, but keep loving him as he loves you. Take good care.

...Hi there 1anurag1, I think that you are absolutely correct, there are always differences between two people in a relationship. Some larger than others, but as you say if the two people are able to come to a compromise on whatever their differences are, they will be able to work it out. Depending on how strong the relationship is, I think they can reach an agreement. Thanks so much for your input. Take it easy.

...Hi there SomeCowgirl, Hope you are doing well. It is wondeful when each person in a relationship can see and understand that the differences between the two of them are not as important as the similiarities, the care and love they have for each other. I don't think any two people are going to be the same in all their attributes, besides that, it would be very boring. You found a good solution that works for both of you, that's the important thing. Take care and thanks.

...Hi veejay, I like that, the full monty. There you have the perfect example, if you love someone and care about them, the fact that they have habits that are so against your grain, does not cause you to want to leave them. It can be done, as I am sure others are doing the same ting, being tolerant because of love. Also veejay, I have to disagree, it is not always the female who is the neat one, maybe the majority are, but I am in your sister-in-law's camp. "o). Thanks for your interesting response. Take good care.

...Hi there junrapmian, Your comment is interesting, it may be what would be needed to help a person understand that they may need to adjust a bit and become more organized or less messy as the case may be. But sometimes, it is impossible for people to change their ways and the other person, if they love the individual enough, has to accept them and try to tolerate the difference between the two of them. It is possible to live with them and hope that one day they will change. Take care. Thanks for your excellent advice.

...Hi MsTickle, You have probably laid out a reality based scenario. The neat one is probably going to be the female in the relationship. Then, since it is the female who usually winds up cleaning up and such anyway, unless it is a very progressive thinking, willing to share the chores, male. So she then gets to do double duty in the marriage. I don't think that would last for long. There are those who will grind it out for the sake of "love", but it will have to be very strong love and not luv "o). For couples in this type relationship, best if they live together to see if they can take one another's habits before they tie that proverbial knot. If they make it for a year, then good, think about marriage, but then try one more year, survive that, then go for pre-marriage counseling, if they still have the sun in their eyes, maybe they can book the chapel. Thanks for laying out the real deal. Take care.