She has yet to even call!
By magrylouyu
@magrylouyu (1627)
United States
February 18, 2010 8:36am CST
As many of you know myself, husband and our children moved to Connecticut. There was a custody battle going on between my husband and his ex girlfriend over thier son. She knew we were moving and had asked me for the number at my parents house so she could call and talk to her son. Well, we have been here in CT for 12 days now it will be 2 weeks on Saturday. She has called ONCE and that was the other day. The even more sad part is that she didnt even call to talk to her son. She called and left a voicemail on my husbands cell phone saying "I applied for a job and I used you as a reference. I hope you dont mind." Then hung up the phone. Not one even single mention of her son. How is he doing, does he like his new school, is he adjusting well or even a simple tell him I love him and miss him. To me this bothers me a lot. I couldnt emagine not seeing my daughters for nearly 2 weeks and not even call to see how my kids are doing. This is just proving my point more and more that she really doesnt care about her son and what happens to him. Right now it's killing him inside, I know it is I can just see it. He is only 6 1/2 and I think he is starting to see that his real mom doesnt care. I have been his primary care taker for 3 1/2 years as my husband is usually working.
I thought I would give you all an update on how things are going so far on our more. It's been stressful, other then just my stepsons mothers issue but other things as well. It's been rough and we're trying to make this work. What is your feedback on my stepsons mom, if that's even what you would consider her. I know I sure dont. I consider her an egg doner.
3 responses
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
I am actually not in the position to judge her for I don't know the real story behind... Anyways, it makes me think also, why her son was under the care of your husband for 3 long years already? What is the mother's doing? Well, same as yours, I cannot understand her too for as a mother, I couldn't afford not to check on my son from time to time especially if he is beyond my sight... If she has no work to support her son, she can always ask for financial support... I do believe that your husband would not help or support his son if he is with her mom...
@magrylouyu (1627)
• United States
28 Feb 10
Oh no, my husband has always supported his son! Even in the care of his mother. His son did nothing wrong. Therefore my husband would not make my stepson "pay" for it. Before my husband got custody, he was paying child support and we took him every chance we got. Her financial support is welfare. I have nothing against that but she has been living off of it for the last 7 years!!
@jewels49 (1776)
• United States
18 Feb 10
The biggest problem with all of this kind of thing is it is always the kids that end up hurt. There are also a couple of ways to look at this. I am raising a grandson whose mother did basically the same thing, when I called her on it she told me that she knew he was safe and happy with us, because she always had been. Leaving him with us was the hardest decision she had ever made, but she knew it was the best one for him. So she didn't feel the need to call because she was worried about him, and it was too hard on her to talk to him. Her answer was honest, also proof of how self- absorbed she is..I explained to her it wasn't about her, but about him and what he needed. She has slowly been getting better.
Not calling..doesn't automatically mean not caring, and if that is what he is thinking or picking up from your reaction to her behavior..You can only tell him that his mom loves him very much and she knows he is safe with his daddy and that it makes her miss him too much when she calls, even if you don't believe that, he's just a little boy and deserves that. Let him call her, encourage him to do that, teach him how to leave a message on an answering machine and voice mail..Send her letters and pictures that he draws and tell her in a note that you knew she was probably missing him and wanted to share this stuff with her. Even if you never get a response from her or it doesn't change anything, you aren't doing it for her, you are doing it for him, because it is what is best for him, Trust me when I say that if every time you are frustrated with a non-custodial parents behavior..take as much time as you need and make your mantra for that time, I will only think about what is best for him. Then with that honestly the only thing in your mind and in your heart..react to the situation. The long term outcome, is worth the wait before it all pays off.
@magrylouyu (1627)
• United States
20 Feb 10
See, that's the thing. She doesnt care. If I have about 4 or so posts about all of this. Some are a year old some are over the last few months. He is an angel with us but acts up with her and whines like a little 2 year old to get what he wants. He knew he could do it with her to revieve what he wanted. My husband and myself have done so much for him that she should have done. I taught him to ride a 2 wheel bike, we potty trained him and we got his speach therapy under way when his other preschool told us his mother failed to ever bring him to one single appointment. He was 3years old and had a vocab of maybe 100 words.
@brynnesmom (169)
• Canada
18 Feb 10
Who cares about the egg donor, this situation is heartbreaking for that little boy! He's old enough to know what's going on and it will be very difficult to help him get over being hurt like this.
