What did you do when you got offended online?.. how do you move on?
@grecychunny26 (9482)
Philippines
April 19, 2010 6:34am CST
I am a member of this one site.It is a paid to post site. I posting there everyday. I really like the site and the topics there too. Since I used to do posting topics I have so many things I shared on that site. Everyday you can post there and there is no minimun in posting. I am not inviting you do join it though. Well the story is this. So I am posting everyday because I have so many thoughts and topics to share with. In every thread there is certain topic like that of the forum, and even if you post on the topic already you can share some thoughts again if you have. The problem is I have given the same response to one topic twice or thrice. It is not a copy paste response but a response with the same thoughts. The senior member caught it and even one responded to my response. He is right so I did not do it again. Even another senior member gave me private message and I even replied to her thanking her of letting me know my mistake. So i get online just a while ago and I check on my topic started because I promise I will not visit the topics I already responded. I found out that the first one who reacted on my similar responses made a response to my topic started and I get offended. My topic is about me being annoyed of being told to do something or I am just hard headed, because people can be hard headed sometimes. I was hurt by his comment. He attacked me personally without even knowing the truth. I admit of my topic that I was hard headed but he attacked me differently. I even read some of the response of the senior member that their response was something against me and implying that I am a bad person. By one mistake I had done and I even humbly admitted that , they attacked me in groups. I do not intend to make the problem gets deeper. I have decided to do not visit the site again. But they made me feel week now. As I read those responses I get week, my hands are trembling. How can this people judge a person by their mistake when they are even admitted it. I feel some of them are member of this site. YOu will know when they find my discussion and you will see a response so harshly. On that site they response without even thinking that it can be hurting to other people. lets get back to what I feel. This is the second time I felt this way. How can a people hurt someone online and judge them. How can they be bad? is there any conscience they do have? NOw I am thinking how can I moved on from this. This people are online people and I know we can meet online again. I hope I can really moved on from this, I am really hurt because they don't have the right to hurt me. If that is their normal being well I am not. But how can I move on from this. There is a side of me that wants to pick a fight with them I will give them what they want, but there is a side that says i will not learn from fighting. I can defend myself but for how long? since these people are very used to kind of attitude. How do you move on from this? any advice that can make me feel good at this moment? or do you have the same experience you would like to share. And for someone who are experienced to be a part of online forums, do not judge the people you are talking too. Do not try to hurt them. For you don't know how much hurt you will be given to that person. REspect others as you want to be respected. Thanks for reading.
3 people like this
19 responses
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
20 Apr 10
I go by what my sister told me when that happens. Why waste emotions over some meaningless people over the internet? None of them care about you and you don't care about them. Now I can see if you have become close to someone on line and then they attack you one day out of no where. Thats happened to me a couple times and really messes with your trust. Its best to either ignore the trolls bait or play along with them.
1 person likes this
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
I will just ignore them and I will never do the things that they do. What they want is when they attack you attack them too and get hurt. Until the time you both get tired of it. But it will never happened. It is just a waste of time to deal with them. Thanks for the response cupkitties!
@TheAdvocate (2392)
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
When I first started posting in mylot, I took comments personally even in the discussions. Later on I realized that that is what makes for a democratic forum and I just turned my attention to healthy debates and try to stay out of potential time bombs (like religion topics). Plus, I realized that it is unproductive to concentrate on negative things. Although I have not yet had the pleasure or displeasure of being the recipients of such comments, at least here in mylot (outside is a whole different story), I would advice you to just brush them off. We will all meet that person who will make us feel as if we are the lowest of the low, scum of the earth, and we should just shrug these kinds of people off. They may be just having a bad day. I take comfort in the principle that "it is better to be kind than to be right." Treat them kindness and one of these days they will just wake up and be embarassed with their actions.
1 person likes this
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
Thanks theadvocate. That is what i am doing today. Yes, i agree on the quote is better to be kind than to be right, because people have different opinions, and people are not all like to accept other's opinion. However, I will not treat them with kindness anymore, maybe the future trolls. I have the feeling that these people are not embarass with their actions, like they are getting paid of hurting online people.
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
Just forget about it and move on. Just think of them as a pack of wolves who will not hesitate to attack someone if they see a tiny glimpse of weakness. There are a lot of people like those you mentioned. They think they are right every time and won't hesitate to say things hurtful unmindful of how the other person would feel. Don't let them bring you down. You can either fight back or just ignore them, after all they don't care about your feeling why should you care about theirs?
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
yes you are right ybong, This person don't care about what i feel what will i care back. I will keep that in mind! Thanks for making me feel good.
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
everyone gets offended every now and then. But it's up to us if we will let it affect us. Others offend us but it was unintentional which is easy to let go, there are also cases where others say something to intentionally offend the other person. The latter will leave us feel hurt and worse live with the guilt. If you won't let go and sulk in the corner you lose.
@megamatt (14290)
• United States
21 Apr 10
Perhaps it is just because that I spend too much time on the Internet, but I am past the point of being offended. Especially considering in the back of my mind, I just wonder if these people are just trying to get a rise out of someone. It is just the way some people act. They say things that might be a bit outlandish and perhaps hurtful, hoping that a person would fire back. Some people just get their amusement off of doing this.
These times, I just shrug and say, well, I don't know these people in real life, so I'm not going to be bothered by anything they say. They might cause me to think for a second and wonder about what they might be saying, wonder how they could say something like that but I just move on. Trust me, I have read many things on the Internet, that people have taken offense that I would never have. Then again, that is just me.
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
21 Apr 10
Then I should admire you megamatt for being the tough person you is. I did shrugged it away. I am now happy now with my life here. Thanks for your response.
@mjcookie (2271)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
Hi.
You know what, I am very sensitive when it comes to criticisms, that's why like you, I get offended easily. I have been bashed a couple of times online in different sites: Facebook, YouTube, and even here in MyLot by people I don't even know personally. I don't usually fight back because I super hate conflicts.
It is very hard for me to sort of move on because the thought lingers in me for a long time. Once when I was bashed here in myLot, I was really terrified and offended by her response that I didn't log in for long. In opinion forums like this, there will always be a time when you would be criticized or even mocked because of your opinion. I guess we should just really be careful next time. People gotta respect one another's opinions.
It is very hard for me to sort of move on because the thought lingers in me for a long time. Once when I was bashed here in myLot, I was really terrified and offended by her response that I didn't log in for long. In opinion forums like this, there will always be a time when you would be criticized or even mocked because of your opinion. I guess we should just really be careful next time. People gotta respect one another's opinions.@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
4 May 10
I do not log in for long too. I was kinda little afraid and hurt by the response. But after a day, I will realized i should not be. If i will avoid the site to avoid conflicts, I should but I do not have to feel fear because I do not did something wrong. There are just people who can't understand the differences and I really don't know if they know the meaning of respect. Now I fully understand the meaning of online forums. If you are a member of forum site, you have to be ready to be criticized hard. Thanks Mjcookie,
By the way who is the one on your avatar? 
@mario_stevens (6964)
• Malaysia
2 May 10
most of the time we don't have the luxury in life to just dwell on the current miserable feelings that we're experiencing. we have to be strong and find our own special ways to move on. same goes for the things that happen to us online. we just have to learn, make amends and move on. it wouldn't do us any good to limit ourselves due to other people's comments on us, when most of the time they don't even know the whole story to begin with!
well, if i knew you personally and found out that you feel down, i'd just give you a flower from my garden in hopes that it can cheer you up and take your mind of people who offend you :)
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
4 May 10
oH i really hope so you are here mario_stevens. but I already move on from that. Thanks for you guys to give me words that I should read in this discussion. All of them are fair and true.
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
19 Apr 10
Whenever anyone participates in a public forum, you are open to anyone offending you. The only way I have found to get over this is to ignore the offensive postings or, if I feel they are against the rules or completely over the top then I will report them
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
thanks recycledgoth! I am not sure if this person is a member of Mylot but I believe he is active in online forum. I am just waiting for him to respond on my discussion so everyone could know that is him. Since Mylot is really famous I assume he is a member here too. Anyway, I was offended on the other forum site, not Mylot. I will let you know in PM about the information. Thanks a lot.
@ghieptc (2522)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
It is impossible that there's no offense would come into our lives even just once, we don't even know. It's up to us how we deal with it, but actually there's a lot of people got offended, verbally abuse or whatsoever but they take it in positive way. They don't actually care about it coz people are different we don't really even knew what's on their head on that time. Moreover, not just online you can be offended but the worst is through face to face, that was really hurt. I guess that if they did that to you there's gonna be a trouble, hope it doesn't happen. Well maybe it's up to you because I'm just a concern friend so don't make this issue blinded you to do what is really right and important for you.
@cloud31 (5808)
•
19 Apr 10
Hi greccy! The thing here is how you move on being offended yah,well just don't take this a serious matter beside they were not the one whose paying in every deed you had,you are both members and you don't even know them personally, so what you need to do is not mind seriously about people sometimes doesn't care about hurting others feeling when they think they are seniors than you..
Its a usual event in the act so how much more in online situations.Just make yourself calm,and think about earning not to care to those people who seems doesn't care about you and your feeling.The reason why you get there is to earned not to earn your frustrations they doesn't know you so leave them what they think is good.Don't start a fight with them or you will end up into more frustrated feelings since they are seniors they know people of their side who can be their allies yah.So stay calm and relax just think about being paid,ok.I know you've been hurt but that's life we need to accept things even its hurts us, be sport in thinking ok.
Happy myLotting!
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
Thanks Cloud31. All the words you share are right. I will keep that in mind. I will no longer visit the site from now on. I know that if I fight with this person I will just go down to his level. I am very busy person and I will not get paid from fighting with him.I know he have so many allies there because I observe some are approving all his criticism about me, even they know it is wrong. So sad that these people have no self decision.
@mackiejp (374)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
Based on what I read here, grecychunny we cannot really please anyone. Always remember that as we share online not all readers we can satisfy. Sometimes the reason why they react that way because they found something wrong on your post and yes you admitted the fault was yours and said your apology politely. But sometimes, you really can't control everybody online. Some of our words here are misunderstood, perhaps, the way we delivered it not really clear to anyone, it mean something different to others not as good as we thought it was. But be patient and learn out from that experience. Don't be discouraged to post your opinion again, like them you are free to express yourself and like you, they are free to comment. If you want to be responded in a way you know can uplift your feelings then always remember that we can't dictate how other people feels towards us. What we can do is to go with the flow, We need not explain our side they really don't care for that anymore. When you are active posting on forums or discussions be tough to whatever bad comments you will receive in every reactions of the people who read your post.
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
21 Apr 10
I can say the experience made me tough. And I learned that online forums are not good for sensitive people. The words you shared are truly right. It made me learn more. I know not all people are kind but I hope there are many who are. Thanks for sharing your response!
@pacpacboom (151)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
hello grecychunny26, everyone commits mistakes. i understand how you feel. its actually but normal to feel the way you're feeling but don/t dwell on it. just charge it to experience,learn from it and move on. be happy. cheers!
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
21 Apr 10
Yes pacpacboom, I will charge it to experience! Thanks for the reply.
@Ynodhady (95)
• Indonesia
20 Apr 10
it's my pleasure to reading some discussion of the Mylot's member.
what you have experienced about the harassment in some forum site is one of the temptation for you in older making you to be more powerful in surfing the online world next
as you know! the people in the world have the various of character and that all is not the same between one and others. moreover they probably guess you as actively person and success person in the business online ,that always make share on the one of forum or site which they also participate in the forum or site. well, maybe some of people that also a member in the forum don't care for your arrival but some of them,there is also jelous for your succesful. so my opinion it just a temptation for you to get stronger. you must take a positive things about what you have experienced about the harassments.
let what they have said about the harassment to us , if it make you complicated you can report to the administrator of the site for their harassment that have annoyed us.
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
21 Apr 10
I don't think they are jealous of my earnings. I more believe that giving harsh comments is really their job and they are happy doing it. I can't invade on other's happiness so I just moved away. Yes I will make sure if there any of this happens again I will report to the administrator, but I am no longer visiting the site. Thank you very much 
@firdauzi (283)
• Indonesia
20 Apr 10
don't take it personally. i know every person will be offended as you did if be hard done by irresponsible person. If i were you, i'm obviusly angry and sent damned message every time we meet online. It matters not, because it is just online isn't it? it different with real life, i will not make any contact with person who can only hurt me. So keep online, do not worry to find her. Just act her as a unknown person, then you won't be noticed.
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
21 Apr 10
thanks firdauzi. I decided to do not go down to their level like leaving a angry comments, I ended up doing the same if I do thatn. I already moved away from the site. I will not get anything from picking a fight with useless people. Thanks firdauzi!
@maikeruk (405)
• Germany
19 Apr 10
I see that a lot, I recommend you to keep the information of how that person offended you and communicate directly with the moderators. the good thing of internet is that everything is still recorded so you can prove how you were offended. there is always people who have frustration and try to discharge it with others. is sad but that is life
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
You made me smile about your response. Yes I will surely take not of that information on how this person offended me. and on the part of maybe this person have more bigger problem than I am. . YOur response makes me move on quickly. Thanks for giving it to me 
. YOur response makes me move on quickly. Thanks for giving it to me 
@elitess (5070)
• Ipswich, England
4 Apr 13
Hello there,
Just think of the mob effect (that is the stupid mob effect to say) where one says something and the others join in.
Or like the monkey experiment where there were 3 monkeys and a bunch of banana hang up high and every time they tried to get them they were punished, then 1 monkey was changed with another that had no idea about this and was getting beaten by the other 2, and they kept changing them and in the end all 3 of them would not know why they are no supposed to try and take the bananas but would remember that by doing so they would get beaten.
@rene12 (794)
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
When you are asking for opinions, there is nothing wrong with them. That was their reaction and even it is harsh, you have to accept it.
I also encountered a similar experience. A guy in a middle age is trying to teach me something which I have said which is ridiculous right? He obviously is not reading the topic and carelessly argued that I am wrong while we have the same fact LOL
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
Yeah actually the topic that he did response too was about my attitude. I am asking their opinion if they are the same as mine. His response was about me like he know me personally. I am being judge there which is off topic. I believe that is his job online, to pick people and hurt them. That is his way of entertainment.
@Cutie18f (9546)
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
It really happens to us people who are members of forums like this one. And yes, I had been offended once and the ending was not really very good. I have decided to now change tactics and now focus on the money-making aspect of foruming and not be swayed by other people's comments. When this happens, the best thing to do is to ignore.
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
thanks cutie18f. I decided to leave the site even the payment is really good, rather than staying on that site and will be hurt again. Why are there so many people picking on people and what will they get from it anyway.
