Give them an Inch and They Take a Mile  

I can't even count on both hands where the nurses in charge have already had this conversation with them how they are being rediculous already. Last night was a prime example. It was so tiring and I told this other elder that I hoped he was going to go to sleep because that's what's making him sick.. getting his nights and days all mixed up. Even though I know it's not going to make a different with keeping them around longer but it does indeed take years off your life. That's another thing that scares me about working nights is that my days and nights are opposite now too.
It's come to the point where I"m even noticing some elders outside of my work just when I'm shopping or whatever in public that they are so rude there too. I've just got to the point where I've lost respect for them.. and who ever told us to respect our elders?

Thanks for your reply
Happy Mylotting

that's so terrible! You'll notice that in kids too, but kids you can forgive easily because they might not have been bred well yet, but for old people, c'mon! They're old enough to know the difference already.

I guess, that's the reason why they're in a nursing home? Their families probably got tired of their rudeness.

I guess all you can do for now, is too avoid being like them in the future? (did that make sense or what?!)

Oh yes definitly makes sense! I can sympathize for those old people who can't do things for themselves and my heart goes out to them but for those elders that know what they are doing and their minds are still with them just causing trouble and treating people like slaves are the ones that tick me right off!!

I haven't been spoken to an elder for a while since I'm not good in making conversation with people more than my age. I really have a big heart and respect in regards with elderly and I'm aware of that mostly elders are very sensitive in regards with manners sometime I got problem with this elder woman she is looking for a salesman in an appliance store and thought I was one of the salesman because I was wearing my office uniform making me look like more an employee of them this elder woman asking me for something so I clearly explained to her that I'm not one those salesman then she speak with loud voice and treating me that she will sue for neglecting her concern as a customer because she was old. I explain her that I'm also a customer then she got really mad at me and tell me that she may be old but not a fool, she even says I don't deserve be there and ask wasn't my parents teach me the right manner. I apologized to her and try to explain it again to her that I'm not and employee but she smash me with her umbrella. I loose my patience and asked for the managers of the store that this older woman should be send out of their premises because she threatens me as one their client. Starting then everytime I saw older people I get away from them.

I use to think that way believe me.. I've even thought about these people being my grandma, grandpa or even parents and what makes it really hard to sympathize is when another elder wrecks it for the good ones.
There's complaining then there's going over board and they they take their frustrations out on you and you have to draw the line there because they can also get you into trouble as well.
There was an incident one night where my partner got writen up for neglecting one of the elders. My partner and I were working on the same wing and I heard her arguing with this man so I went into his room to see what was going on and he wanted yet another set of clothes and I intervined and told him that this was his fifth set of clean clothes he would be changing into that night and this went on all night so we got tired of it.. so I said FINE!! Here's your clothes and I layed them down on his bed for him. I walked out because I was not going to argue any further. I reported this to the nurse in charge and she didn't follow up or write a report on his behavior.
The next night I went into work and my partner received a letter from our employer that an investigation was being looked into about neglecting and abuse of an elder! I was so frustrated when I heard he told our boss that she said she couldn't tell the nurse what he wanted because the nurse was sleeping??? He was lying and he knew it. That's immediately when my trust in elders stopped.. then we began seeing paterns with him getting the kitchen staff in trouble saying that the bread wasn't think enough and they were ignoring him... it's all crap!!!! That was just the beginning of our problems and now we seem to have a bit more control on the situations around our side of the building but it's annoying forsure.
A lot of elders come from a mental hospital so they have thier issues but it's scary when they know that our workplace takes their word over ours and they use that against us too.
I myself have never been writen up but I see it all the time.
I'm going to have to start letting my partner take over sometimes because I need a break.. she doesn't answer a lot of these call lights where I do so now it's her turn.

Thanks for your advice
Happy Mylotting

That's sad. Yes, sometimes a few rotten apples really can spoil the entire bunch. I agree with laglen, these people are just most likely sad and/or lonely that's why they're acting up to get special attention or notice.

But if you're really really upset with your work, and you find that it's starting to disrupt your life (like your health and sleep patterns, for starters), and you don't find it fulfilling anymore, maybe you should start looking for another job. Good, steady jobs are hard to come by these days but if you're starting to dread going to work I think that's a sign that you should go.

Or, if you'd really like to stick with the place, do something about the work conditions that you are upset with. Don't you have an employees' union or something like that? Maybe you can air your grievances there, and as a group you can do something about it (how to properly handle the elders' behavior as well as to address the management's bias favoring the patients). Hope this helps :)

I am taking steps in setting a new goal for myself and that's getting a couple of grade twelve courses so I can move up. I have had it but I"m going to stick it out until I've upgraded myself. I still want to stay in the medical field and just experiment on what I prefer more.

Hi laglen,

I think the whole root of my problem is that I have a lousy partner who doesn't like answering those call lights either.. none of us want to really because 99% of the time it's going to be a rediculous request.. I don't mind helping and elder find their way to the bathroom but time and time again as I mentioned already it starts getting rediculous when you begin being nice to them. That means sitting and talking with them trying to make conversation about them as well. I have tried that and it just worsens the situations.
I think what I"m going to do is talk to the nurse manager about my partner and perhaps they can talk to her about answering an equal amount of lights especually during our round at 5am. It's rough with her and a lot of other of my coworkers can tell you that about her because they have too also been her partner and she's definitly NOT easy to get along with.
One nurse at my work lets her sleep as long as she likes on nightshift and if I'm on my break which doesn't happen that often because the elders are all awake at night.. I will go on the other wing or go for a decent break and the nurse will call on me to help a resident or answer a call light meanwhile my partner is sawing logs so to speak.. sleeping! It's irritating.

ok, that is a different story and I agree you should speak to your nurse manager. I can see why you would get resentful.

I think I might do that perhaps maybe they will give me a new partner that actually works at my pace?

That will probably make your job better and make you more happy.

Times like that when I want to tell them to stuff their job is when I wished I won a lottery and just could call in rich!
I think that's what I"m going to do from now on is just think of my payday when I'm stressed. I've ended up having to walk out of their rooms because they were being so rude. I'm going to start putting my foot down with my partner too from now on and tell her to go answer some of the lights.

Thanks for your reply
Happy Mylotting

The thing is Linda is that I'm furthering my education as we speak and I am going to find a new job.
I am a kind person and wished these people were kind back! I end up having to just walk out of their room because they are being so mean. I wished I had a better partner to work with too someone more useful. It's just difficult when I'm the only one going into the resident's room to find out why they are calling.
I wished there were more people like you that I looked after too.

Thanks for your reply

It's not like this all the time richnai, there are times when I do enjoy my job so this particular discussion I was just venting. There are days when I feel that they really take advantage of me and other workers. My co-workers always say"no matter how patient you are, it's drained by the time you leave work"

Hi nixxi,

Sorry if I seemed harsh.

I have run three tier assisted living plants in the USA and it is absolutely impossible to keep a cheerful face during a shift. You can have the best housekeepers in the world and seco pad the carpets daily and their will still be the odor of urine and fecal material evident.

Nurses aids are not paid the amount they deserve and budgets suck, so I do know what you are up against.

But on the other hand, some of your patients were dignified people during their productive years and feel hurt and disappointed when they realize where they are.

You know that a lot of relatives, especially their children will come only when they have to and escape the moment they can and the alert residents are well aware of this. So you are their immediate family now. It is a no win situation for the patient as well as you.

When you get frustrated, and I am sure it is justified, try to think of how the poor person who is making you crazy feels!

I am happy that you took the time to comment back to me.