are you a substitute person?  

Hi,
To me, I dont like to be a Substitute person and especially love thing. I dont want him to use me as a back up and I dont want to be one either. No matter how much I love him but once he moves on, then I have to move on as well... be a substitute person is suck... u will know when someone does this to u

wow. just like what we see in a drama.

well, for me, i would honestly give myself time. sometimes in a tough situation, the most important things to do are to keep quiet, breath slowly and think-- that's where you will need time and space.

i just thought that you might have been over thinking things and that because you are very much tied to the person (or he/she always is beside you), you just felt that he/she is important to you.

give yourself a break and a respect.

MOVE ON BUT HOLD ON.

hannanable78,

In the first place, I think a relationship is a matter of whether one is more important or significant in the others' position but the heart. Yet, the path leading there will never or can never be as direct as a road map.

Because, a relationship is not a journey of perfect bliss and you have probably board the wrong train if you are expecting one.

It's how you uncover about each others' true personality, deal with them and grow from there. And everyone who has gone through and came out successful would tell you that it would take years of effort to compromise, shape and evolve one another and especially to craft the relationship.

Which is why once we know more about our other half and our relationship, we will start structuring basic communication - relating to individual needs and definitions of love. Trying to blend indifference into something workable and learn to fine tune regularly to keep it in shape.

There will be roadblocks along the way and if you are perturbed over such minor roadblocks, I can only say: please anticipate more of such challenges, with greater intensity, thrown into your path.

So, I will never walk out on a relationship that gives me an impression that I am unimportant or a substitute to my SO, because at the end of the day it probably is some baseless assumption. Whether we are compatible or otherwise will depend on what our other half claim and say.

There are times that you are lucky to be a substitute person. Like what I had experience, a qualified group was going to Boracay with free accomodation and travel. There was one delegate confirmed she could not make it and she appointed me to replace her. I was lucky then.

There are also situation, that being substitute made us feel bad. Like to your loved one, you were not prioritized for a certain things, they just ignore you like you are not around but when things get rough, oh, there you go, you are visible, the second choice...

they don't care what the emotional damaged have done to you!