Is it easy to leave someone whom you have loved or married for more than 10 year  

Thanks very much, patersh(88). I think it's kind of hard for her but considering her husband's attitude towards her, I can tell that nobody could have tolerated as well as my friend did.Furthermore, it isn't because of love that she has stayed on all this while but it's for her kids sake that delays her decision. Now that her kids has understood her situation, she is more than happy to leave him to pursue the kind of life she wish with her ability and mindset.
She has also claimed that she has actually given up on him long time ago.I actually felt very sad on hearing it but when she visited me yesterday, I would said that her is more cheerful now than she was before the divorce. Even her facial appearance and complexion have improved but you can never can tell what is going on her in the inside, right? But I always wish the best for her.

Thanks again and happy posting.

Thanks, cheongyc(2171). I felt very sorry for her too but once she has made up her mind,she would not turn back. Furthermore, she has waited and given ample chances to her husband for the past decade and yet he still remain hopelessly lost. To make matter worst, he is too stubborn and uncommunicable.Frankly, I think she has made the right decision.
All this while, her children have been witnessing her situation and understood their mother's pain and dilemma. Although it may not seems easy but I can see she is taking rather well and is cheerful whenever I meet up with her. But from your comments, you seems to suggest that she should give their marriage a second chance and to communicate with her husband more and not to victimised their children.Are these your advice to my friend?

The person who know about your friend's situation is herself. Therefore, it's her who can make the best decision for herself and her family. In a relationship, the most that we can control is only 50%. Therefore, the best that we can only do is quit a relationship if it's not salvageable at all.

Thank you, cheongyc(2171). I do see you point of view. She must have given her relationship a lengthy thought before she make her decision. I guess I am too concern about her.

You are most welcome. Relationship and family worth to be given lengthy thought and deep consideration. There is actually nothing wrong to be concerned about our friends. Friends are the next important person after our family. They are the person who can provide us help and opinions when we are confused.

Hi, cheongyc. Thanks so much. I am so glad to have friends and someone like you to give valuable opinions, advice and suggestions to guide me especially when I have problems. I really appreciate your friendship. You are a God sent angel.

Thanks, deedeehall.You are a very capable, ambitious, tolerant and understanding woman. I guess very few would be able to cope as well as you are. I felt so sorry for you as well as my friend because both of you are such great ladies and your spouses are not intelligent enough to value such honourable wives.Anyway, don't be sad but be courageous and decide what you think is best for you and your children.

Whatever people said about you is unimportant but what matter most is your own conscience. Be strong.

Take care.

yes i guess my whole worrie is how will it afect my children.if they were not here i dont think i would have a problem leting go.

Hi deedeehall. life is about happiness. Most children of strained relationship parents will not be happy either. I think it is good if you can have a discussion with your children to find out how they would react including their ability to cope without their father. If they agree then you have to decide if you can really go on with life without your husband. Strong mindset, positive thinking and strong determination will result in positive outcome. It is also wise to make changes in your life, accept challenges and be courageous. Otherwise, things will just go on the same year after year while you are so unhappy and suffering quietly alone.In this case, you are not being fair to yourself. Furthermore, you may also wake your husband up with your firm decision. He may learn to regret of his attitudes and turn into a new leaf.

I hope you and your family will live a happy life.

thanks- yes every time he thinks i am thinking about leaving he stays quiet for maybe one day but when he things i am staying he stars with the verbal abuse and shouting and the cut downs.

Thanks, reckon21.My friend's husband may seems to be a good husband. According to my friend, her husband just could not understand, communicate, and has common goals in life with her. He would not share ideas, interest, knowledge and supports her during difficult situations. Although he loves her but he is not loving towards her or their family. He doesn't respect or provide the family with the best which life can offer even if he can afford.

Wouldn't you have left this kind of person and live a life which is agreeable, happy and free? I don't see why my friend has to torture herself further with him.
IIn this case, it would be better for her if she can find a better person and live a happier life.