Hello! Thank you for your call. Please leave your message after the beep sound.
By carpediem17
@carpediem17 (1315)
Singapore
September 2, 2010 3:21am CST
* if you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly
* if you are co-dependant, please ask someone else to press 2 for you
* if you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 & 6
* if you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, please stay on the line so we can trace your call and persecute you
* if you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership
* if you are schizoprenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press
Etc etc
This is a joke picked up from the web about automated answering machines. Do you not feel utterly frustrated by being attended to by an answering machine after a while especially those from the banks! The whole burden seems to rest on you to push the right buttons.
Do you then prefer to speak to someone or you find answering machines serve just as well.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@sender621 (14889)
• United States
2 Sep 10
Answering machines can be annoying. Some people have such long messages to listen to. By the time the beep finally does come, you can almost forget who you were calling and why. Sometimes i would rather just call back to talk to a living, breathing person instead of a cold heartless answering machine.@carpediem17 (1315)
• Singapore
3 Sep 10
my sentiments exactly sender. One has to listen so intently so that one presses the right buttons. Sighz and they call it service with a smile.
@smilepleeeaz (784)
• India
2 Sep 10
Yes it is quite annoying at times because we have to wait a bit longer for what we want till that naswering machine scan through all the options available. Also sometimes what we want to ask is not an option and its really disgusting.
Well I have some more funny answering machine messages that I would like to share here :-
*Hello! My wife and i can't come to the phone right now,but if you'll leave your name and number,we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
*This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name and your number and your reason for calling...and I'll think about returning your call.
*Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is john's refrigerator. Speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
*Hi. Now YOU say something.
*Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message,
and if I don't call back, its you.
*Hello!If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a sexy message, I'll call sooner.
LOL 
@carpediem17 (1315)
• Singapore
2 Sep 10
haha, smile. Enjoyed those jokes.
Indeed answering machines are the bane of our lives now. 
@bluemoonpavilion (4658)
• Singapore
3 Sep 10
ummmm....I choose option 3,4,5 & 6.... *press press press press*
help....how did I get here....
Hello, may I help you?
What was I supposed to do? *muttering while picking up the phone again*
