Penalty of Trying to Look Attractive
By Ram Bansal
@rambansal (574)
India
July 28, 2011 4:21am CST
Probably each of us wants to present him/herself as attractive and impressive to influence others favorably. If this creates a gap between reality and the projection, the person often gets penalized.
With an impressive look and presentation, many person get attracted towards the person many of whom may be unscrupulous or undesirable. This puts an additional burden on the person to use his/her discretion for dealing with others. If this discretion is not applied correctly or there is a mistake in perception of others, the person sufferes for dealing with wrong persons.
Conversely, if the projection of personality is just the ordinary and real, only those really interested come into contact, reducing burden on the person. It is not that ordinary and real projection has no takers, some really wise persons like such a projection. Once an online friend asked for a recent photograph of mine, and I immediately shot myself as I was sitting and working on my desk and sent the picture. My purpose was to show my reality, and know her response to it. She liked the picture very much.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@santosmarichris (1849)
• Philippines
29 Jul 11
Hi! I think almost everybody wants to look attractive one way or another. Some don't do much work because they already look good. While others try way too hard, lol. For me, I think you just have to stay simple and neat.
@rambansal (574)
• India
30 Jul 11
Your profile messages says that you care a lot about your projection to the outside world. It is a good thing provided you can handle some ndesirable elements who get attracted to you.
You are not that simple but a lot 'neat', I like it. All the best, my dear, keep it up.
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
28 Jul 11
How could she not like the picture? You are a very good looking man!
Your discussion actually made me want to take a photo of myself right away and post it here so that is my new avatar photo. I just took that a few minutes ago.
I don't do a lot to make myself more attractive, I just like to appear well-groomed, even if I am only playing in my garden and wearing shorts and a blouse. My personality has always been the first thing that people notice about me because I have a very expressive face and a mouth that runs maybe a bit too much. 
Yes, I do like to talk. 
There was a period in my life, in my twenties, when I wished I looked a little plainer or maybe a little 'tougher' because people either called me "cute" or "beautiful" and I wanted people to judge me by who I am and not what I look like.
You are very insightful about how people perceive us and how we perceive others. I try not to judge anyone by their looks but always look first inside a person.
Yes, I do like to talk.
There was a period in my life, in my twenties, when I wished I looked a little plainer or maybe a little 'tougher' because people either called me "cute" or "beautiful" and I wanted people to judge me by who I am and not what I look like.
You are very insightful about how people perceive us and how we perceive others. I try not to judge anyone by their looks but always look first inside a person.@rambansal (574)
• India
30 Jul 11
You are indeed cute, my dear, but your projection has been eratic as I mentioned earlier too. You need a secretary somebody like me who adores you and intends your best projection outside. You got a photograph of yourself shows your confidence and will to learn. In this photograph, you look wonderfully lovable. Hope we keep in touch, for mutual gains.
@strawberrychocodahi (4817)
• Philippines
28 Jul 11
"Many person get attracted towards the person many of whom may be unscrupulous or undesirable" ARE YOU SURE?? I think you should have said many people would be attracted to those who are DESIRABLE and LOOKING GORGEOUS 
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So what is the main question you have here my friend? what are the penalties to get attractive? You should have stated well anyway if that is the question then my answer would be "THANK YOU DOCTOR" for those who goes under the knife and do beauty surgery.
Well, that's what the world defines beauty, its within the SKIN and the OUTWARD appearance, but it is just useless. What is important is what we are WITHIN and how God sees our heart, because no matter what we do here on earth, if it is not pleasing God, it will all be in VAIN and USELESS.
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So what is the main question you have here my friend? what are the penalties to get attractive? You should have stated well anyway if that is the question then my answer would be "THANK YOU DOCTOR" for those who goes under the knife and do beauty surgery.
Well, that's what the world defines beauty, its within the SKIN and the OUTWARD appearance, but it is just useless. What is important is what we are WITHIN and how God sees our heart, because no matter what we do here on earth, if it is not pleasing God, it will all be in VAIN and USELESS.
@jaiho2009 (39140)
• Philippines
28 Jul 11
I dressed and want to look beautiful for myself.
If other people are impressed with the way I look ,that's a bonus for me.
But first and foremost,I want to look beautiful because it gives me confident to face the world.
I never adorn myself with gold or ornaments either,but with simplicity and naturally being me.
Good evening
jaiho®
jaiho® @rambansal (574)
• India
29 Jul 11
For your beauty, others get attractd and disturb you a lot. I think, everybody decorates him/herself for impressing others.
@Graceekwenx (3160)
• Philippines
28 Jul 11
Hi Rambansal! i believe that good looks are so much nicer when it comes with brains. Being "easy on the eyes" is a plus factor especially if you are a marketing person or a dermatologist or even a public figure. It would really come nasty if an attractive person couldnt speak smartly and that would be such a major turnoff! If, however, one is not born with the gift of good looks, he can still project himself by trying to be presentable but not to the extent of coming out loud. We can all still be simple yet confident.
@rambansal (574)
• India
30 Jul 11
Yes, my dear grace, good looks is also an asset like good character, wealth, etc. and need be taken care of. But artificially projecting something as good while the reality is different is to buy problems for the self.
You are naturally beautiful, and need no artificial projections.
@dream_ozn (1752)
• Singapore
29 Jul 11
I really like the way you describe it.
If I had an online friend asking me for a picture of me, i guess I will definitely go and dig up a photo of myself looking very pretty. I definitely won't snap a picture of myself there and then to give me to the other person.
This is a very common problem that all of us faces nowadays and I think technology and social media has made it much worse.
ALso, like you say, because we try so hard to look nice, to look attractive, it naturally gives us some burden because we have to uphold our 'reputation"
@astreadido (608)
• Philippines
28 Jul 11
I think those who try to make themselves attractive must do it for themselves and not to please other people. You appearance should reflect your personality rather than what you want others to think of you.
