First step a woman should take when break up?
By katie0
@katie0 (5203)
Japan
October 16, 2011 8:19pm CST
What a woman should do when she leaves a guy? Create a profile in a dating site, begin to go out, search for new friends, what do you think?
In my opinion the best thing is to be alone, not about going out with friends that we need because after all it's a break up but the last thing a woman should have in mind is to begin another relationship, specially to jump from one to another because she might get confused. I'd say 6 months of single life at least?
4 people like this
12 responses
@katcarneo (1433)
• Philippines
17 Oct 11
First thing I did was to go out of town with that one dear friend. We went on a three day vacation to an island. We did hope to meet some guys but that didn't happen. It was great because I got the break up off my mind for most of the time when I was there.
Then, when I was back home, I moved to a new flat and took guitar lessons. I needed to keep myself busy to avoid breaking down. I started seeing someone, yeah, 6months after the ended relationship. I think in that 6 months I was able to focus on myself and do something I've always wanted to do. I lost a lot of esteem when my relationship ended then got that back. So I think six months of singlehood did me good. Although, I wouldn't say I didn't try looking for dates. I did join a dating site.
1 person likes this
@katcarneo (1433)
• Philippines
17 Oct 11
Thanks! That period of my life was also quite bad when I think about the sulking and the crying, but it made me better in may ways.
1 person likes this
@Bianca_mergillano (1067)
• Philippines
17 Oct 11
I would love to share what I did after me and my boyfriend broke up almost 2 years ago. Anyway, I broke with him because he wants me to change myself just for him. He wants to wear short shorts, sleeveless, more make up, long nails, and many more which I don't really comfortable. Because of that I felt that he doesn't love me the way I am that's why I broke up with him. I told him that I don't like because of what he did to me. After our break up, I did everything just to look good. That was the first I did. I shop for some clothes, shoes, new haircut, and many more. Just to change myself because I feel like it. I did this because I wanted to look at my best even without him. After that I spent some time with my friends. We went out to bars and restaurants with our new clothes and shoes and feel that we look our best. Anyway, I just enjoy my life being single that time. I'm not in a hurry to have a boyfriend as soon as possible because I know that right guy would come at the right place and at the right time. So just enjoy the life you have now, do things that you enjoy, have some time with your family and friends and we'll never know? maybe you'll meet your mr. right along the way.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
23 Mar 12
What a self confident woman you are! Well done, and thanks for sharing.
If he sees you, ouch, it's gonna hurt!
I done like you few times and just once I lay down low, really mourned, I know it seems worst but I learned I rather mourn and be alone, really be sad about the ending even though I ended cause the guy like your ex just wasn't for me, he didn't give me the value I wanted, didn't appreciate me even though in the end he loved me, I didn't even realized that, he had a big trouble as a child and didn't know how to show love. Anyways, in six months I was really great, well way before that but I asked myself after half a year and realized I had healed.
When I went enjoying life right after the guy kind of stood with me like a ghost, haunting me a little and went to other relationship without planing with the problems with the past. When I mourned I felt like I had time to think about what went wrong and how I can be happier next time.
But each person will heal differently.
I loved what you did, congratulations. I'm glad there are women like you, I've seen so many change for men and I don't get them.
@chiyosan (30186)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
it is always nice to know that even when you have broken up with someone you are still lovely and desirable. it boosts up your confidence and there is no need to get into a new relationship right away. :D
the best is to go out with friends, take a vacation, enjoy singlehood and love life. :D i mean if we are happy and we enjoy our lives we will naturally attract good people to come into our lives.
@umabharti (3972)
• India
17 Oct 11
In break up ,women should be more thinking towards her life and her situation where she is at present.Should not be depressed ,for the things which went wrong on her side or on the other side.
This is not only with women a boy also should carry on with his life.The mistakes do happen on both the sides.
Should not be jumping here and there ,if not then there will be no value of making a relation with any.
@umabharti (3972)
• India
18 Apr 12
Some times there is no patience ,and the situation becomes unhandled,we are human beings so we are like that ,some times the life teaches about many things and many experiences teach much more when it comes to reading abt something@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
23 Mar 12
You are totally right, the worst thing it's to jump to the next relationship, we need sometime to think about cause as you said, both of us done mistakes and right things so it's just time to learn. Plus, no one is replaceble, at least not so fast so we need a time and specially to enjoy our own. Sometimes in relationship we might forget how it is like to be alone, to enjoy one self and it's time for that.
1 person likes this
@EdnaReyes (2622)
• Philippines
20 Oct 11
The first thing she should do is to overhaul her spirits and mind. It's time for her to enjoy life and enjoy her singleness and freedom. Life without a boyfriend can be the most enjoyable moment because all your attention is on your self and nothing to worry about other's feeling. Play the field and enjoy .
@SmilezKiwi (123)
• New Zealand
17 Oct 11
Rebound?
I guess its up to the individual. some are looking for companions, Im a part owner of a new real dating company. Maybe have time to be alone and be with family b4 finding another partner. take a kit kat its not like the guys going to run away.
1 person likes this
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
28 Nov 11
Rebound, right! It can be great for the ego as well. Like many women get out of a relationship feeling ugly or undesirable but a new guy can make that come back.
I would prefer to wait a long time to heal myself though, I think a new guy it's just a quick solution that don't last.
@alienstar (5144)
• India
17 Oct 11
Coming out of a break up is really tough for men as they struggle a lot and compared to women, men are less stronger than their counterparts.So, the best way to handle such situations is to get engaged in other activities which will keep them busy and this maybe for 6 months or even a year.This will make them come out stronger again forgetting the past and get ready for future partners again.Life has to move on and in younger age, these things are difficult to handle but as you grow older, your maturity will handle the situation well
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
17 Oct 11
Hi katie: I agree with you, not only for girls. When we end a relationship we need to give ourselves some time to think clear about how we feel and what we want, to put things in order and also, after breaking up to find stability in our feelings. Losing someone is really sad so if we just go trying to find someone to replace it and fill this need we could easily make a mistake.
ALVARO
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
23 Mar 12
Indeed friend, we might be the one that broke up but every human being is unique, special, can't be replaced and we get used to that person and have an amount of care, once we break up we miss them, we worry if they are okay, it's hard for all parts.
A time is even respectful specially to the one that decided to break I guess.
@eljayo (1105)
• Philippines
17 Oct 11
Hi! I think once you break up with your partner. Take some rest and enjoy your single life. Don't just jump quickly on finding a date and if you think you are really ready than go with it. Don't go for petty relationships that don't last you will only repeat the cycle of being hurt and breaking up again. Be productive while your single.
@safety69 (592)
• Taiwan
17 Oct 11
I would stay alone, look for some activities to keep me busy , go out with many friends or the best ones, know new people as friends , try not to think about that relationship (Its hard but not imposible) go and do things with your family . I wouldnt to stay alone always with people around is better untill You get over this.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
23 Mar 12
Indeed, it's important to mind the friends we are going to hang out cause we always have, even in family members, the positive and the negative, critic ones and the latter can really put us down, even worse than what we are feeling. We don't have to cut people from our lives but when we are down it's better not to hang with negativity.
@kyrararen (601)
• Indonesia
17 Oct 11
hmm, well to have have fun of course. I mean you can start with going to salon, make yourself pretty, getting massage, spoil yourself. hang out with friends a lot (something that some women hard to get) and free your mind from romance for a bit. well, you can mourn once in a week, maybe saturday night, the usual time for your boyfriend would ask you out. I spent it by watching romantic video for the whole night. I think getting a new boyfriend right after your break up is not a nice idea. well, at least enjoy your time to be single for awhile. :) do something you cant do when you were in relationship.
@rahul2u (200)
• India
17 Oct 11
first understand that you enjoyed being together for a while.but the relationship was not what bot of you and your partner wanted for life.no matter what happen till now.
keep your space,even if you and your ex are decided to continue as a friends, break away completely. means no calls, e-mails, text everything.
spend quality of time with your close friends who love you and help you feel good about yourself. supportive friends and family will helps to get steady on your feet again.but be aware of friends trying to connect you with another person, this is not what you need.
