Why prefer to talk about the weather than about feelings?
By didi13
@didi13 (2926)
Romania
February 10, 2012 10:46am CST
We meet for coffee to solve a problem and to discuss it, but all you do is talk about how beautiful restaurant, how clean are the dishes and that was cooler outside. Then, after passing a few hours, go to issues such as future or past, grandmother or cat. Any, not only about feelings.
Often, to analyze or solve anything, communication is required. And to have effective communication, it takes two people or more. Yes, we feel uncomfortable when talking about things vulnerable. We feel as we move from one foot to another, our hands sweat and dry mouth. It's hard to start talking about how you feel. It's much easier to talk about weather, about other people or about trivial things, like what you ate this morning. But it does not solve problems. No, no. Why prefer to talk about the weather than about feelings?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@Bluedoll (16770)
• Canada
10 Feb 12
My guess is because of fear, inability to trust or little confidence. Some don’t want to take the chance. It is opening themselves up to ridicule. It is like playing with fire, there is a chance to get burned.
What is worse if someone does share their feelings with others in a place where they are not protected they can be branded with the term, deliver of drama. The price they pay for letting things that have been bundled around their heart till they are choking. People need other people that will not kill them with disgusting reactions because they can themselves can not deal with opened feelings.
On the other hand, friends that practice understanding and give forgiveness are very able to express themselves.
@didi13 (2926)
• Romania
10 Feb 12
That's probably fear or lack confidence. Or maybe it's easier to ignore. Rather than sit in front of the problem, the man whom I hurt, I hurt or love him, prefer to ignore and pretend that none of this did not happen. It is easier to wait and go to anger someone, only to go to apologize. It is easier to wait to solve the problem by itself, only to stand face to face with it. It is easier to expect the other person to come to us, than to take courage and let's go. It is easier to be told that you are loved, than to say that you love.
Thanks for response.
@Bluedoll (16770)
• Canada
10 Feb 12
True sometimes things do work themselves out. Maybe we think as time goes by we will forget and be able to start new, yet serious hurts do not fix themselves this way. I believe in talking it over but as is the case as you described it is not easy and we can wait for the other to do the work. Sometimes it can feel only one person does all the work but maybe that doesn't matter. That I don't know. You are always welcome didi. I admire your thoughts, I could never be so intuitive and think so deeply on life's subjects as you do.
@polaris77 (2039)
• Bacau, Romania
10 Feb 12
I think people prefer to talk of things of lesser importance such as weather instead of revealing their true feelings and intentions because they're afraid of the words they might say in a serious discussion that might turn into a heated debate and eventually into an argument,and most of us fear of saying something that might offend others or of being offended by other people's words,that's why we try to avoid or delay such important discussions by pretending that we're very interested in weather or things we don't care about so much,but we don't realize that not talking about our feelings is not a solution,sooner or later we can't avoid those serious discussions,so I think the best think we can do is gather all our stength,say'Come what may!' and start the real communication.It is better to do that and be sincere to ourselves and to those who are close than to keep on delaying those decisive moments.
@didi13 (2926)
• Romania
12 Feb 12
You're absolutely right. Many times fear keeps us from doing many things. We are afraid to say what we think, to not be judged or derided. We're afraid to do what we really like to not exit patterns that others have set for us. We're afraid to laugh heartily as to not seem too unserious or even crazy. We are afraid to complain or to admit that sometimes it is difficult, not to seem weak. We're afraid to express feelings, avoid certain registration, people or situations to avoid suffering. And in the end remains a long list of regrets, the things that we did we would have happy, a lot of questions like "What was if?".
Thanks for response.
@inertia4 (27978)
• United States
14 Feb 12
Well, people who avoid the issue at hand either are uncomfortable talking about it or they just do not want to fix what it is that needs fixing. Or if it is a relationship that is in the early stages, they are extremely nervous.
@jazzyrae (1745)
• United States
10 Feb 12
I agree it is always hard to open up and let your fellings out. You don't want to seem weak or deal with te emotions you are felling. Weather is meaningless feelings are what matter most. Things that matter most are always the hardest to discuss. I think you feel better what's all your emOtions are out on the table so to speak. Fellings are like being tied to an anchor and sinking. Once you release your fellings the anchor so to speak is released.
