Being There

United States
May 3, 2012 1:21pm CST
Yesterday my daughter came home from school in tears. Her new boyfriend had broken up with her and the whole situation had been so weird, it really hurt. She came in subdued and said "I want my Mom!" I held her and listened and did my best to comfort her. Now, I realize that this is not anything unique to me as a mother. Other mothers have done the same for their teenage daughters, I'm sure. I know my own mother was there for me when similar situations happened in my own life. The thing that I found gratifying is that she felt she could come to me...and that I avoided saying the wrong thing. Mark Gungor talks about not quitting parenting too soon. So many of us stop parenting our children before they actually are grown...and being grown isn't an age, it's an attitude. Since my daughter returned to school she has found difficulties in dealing with her fellow teens. She had spent some time in the adult world and so had a more adult view of the drama that envelops the teen world. My daughter will be 18 soon and legally an adult at that point. Some parents I have known considered their job done at that point in their child's life. I do not. There are still going to be times when my daughter will need "MOM" and I will be there. I wasn't grown until I was 30 and then my mother finally left this world when I was 33. But she was there for me until then. I will always be grateful for a mother who recognized my need for her beyond that 18th birthday and I will follow in her example with my own daughter. It's funny but it seems my daughter actually needs me more now, emotionally, than she did when she was a toddler. My parenting teacher once told me that the teen years are when the children need their parents the most...and I fully believe that. I'm just glad I'm here and can give my daughter what she needs at this critical time in her life.
1 person likes this
2 responses
C
@ShyBear88 (59342)
• Sterling, Virginia
3 May 12
Yep parenting is never really over even when your kids are adults you have there kid's to help them with or give your kids some advise about. I still need my mommy here and there. I'm 23 and got kids of my own but some times I still need her maybe not in the same way I did years ago but I need her to help mom me some times.
1 person likes this
alaskanray
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
3 May 12
My mother passed away in 1989 and there are still times I will be upset and will say, "I want my mommy!" I'm 54, btw. I don't think we ever reach a point where Mom is no longer needed. Maybe we don't want to admit that and maybe we don't even want her around but we still need her. It just occurred to me...Mother's Day is coming up. What an appropriate discussion! Talk about perfect timing, eh? lol
C
@ShyBear88 (59342)
• Sterling, Virginia
5 May 12
Yes a good discussion right on time for a lovely day all about moms. That is probably why I still call my mom every few days and if I don't my dad makes her call me. They still worry about there little girl even though at my age they shouldn't be worried. But I know as mom you never stop worrying about your children or wanting them to want you or need you then. Mom's ever really stop being moms and needing our own mommy's now and then even when its just to say hi and i love you.
1 person likes this
alaskanray
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
6 May 12
My mom became my best friend in her later years and there is so much that has happened since she passed away that I longed to share with her! She missed the birth of my daughter and all my experiences as a single mother would have been so much more fun or easier to bear had I had my mother there to talk to and bounce things off of when needing help making a decision.I really miss my mom...and it's been 23 years. Nope, we never stop needing Mom.
Heather Echola
@GardenGerty (169448)
• United States
6 May 12
Like you, my mom has passed away, and I find that I still would like to talk with her. My son is in his thirties, but because of some bad experiences and circumstances he is living with my husband and me now. I think he actually needs me more now than when he was 19 or twenty. Of course that was actully when his dad was dying and we did not talk much as I was rolled up into that. I think my daughter needs me more now than ever, but she lives way far away. She is a mom herself.
1 person likes this
alaskanray
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
7 May 12
Yes, our children seem to need us more, even if in a different way, once they become adults. When I think back, I realize that my mother must have missed hers so much! My own grandmother passed away before I was born so my mother went through a LOT without her mom there to talk to, too. In a way it makes me feel even closer to her because our experience in this is so similar. I am grateful to know that my mom is still there, even if I can't see her, and that I will see her again when I join her in the next life.