|  Anger Management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
I Politely said, "This is David. Could I please speak with Robert Campbell?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear:
"Get the right F#*@~king number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robert's correct number to call him, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with Robert, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled:
"You're a B#*@~ard" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'B#*@~ard next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell,
"You're a B#*@~ard!"
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic
"B#*@~ard" calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said,
"Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company . I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said,
“That's because you're a B#*@~ard”
One day I was at Lakeside Shopping Centre, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in an old but beautiful Ford Mustang car cut me off, and pulled into the parking spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first B#*@~ard (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the Ford Mustang B#*@~ard, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the Ford Mustang for sale?" "Yes, it is", he said.
"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
"Yes, I live at 129 Alice Street, Croydon, London. It's a white house, and the car's parked right out in front." "What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Steve Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Steve?"
"I'm home most days as I'm currently unemployed."
"Listen, Steve, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Steve, you're a B#*@~ard!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two A@***holes to call. Then one day I came up with BRILLIANT idea.
I called B#*@~ard Number One.
"Hello?"
"You're a B#*@~ard" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Steve Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"I live at 129 Alice Street, Croydon, London. A white house, with my beautiful Ford Mustang parked out the front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Steve. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, B#*@~ard," and hung up.
Then I called B#*@~ard Number Two.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, B#*@~ard," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..........."
"You'll do what?" I said.
"I'll kick your @*ss," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, B#*@~ard, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 129 Alice Street, Croydon, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 5 News about the "hoodie" war going down in Alice Street, Croydon .
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Alice Street. I got there just in time to watch two B#*@~ards beating the Sh**t out of each other in front of six police cars, an overhead police helicopter and a News crew.
Now I feel MUCH better.
Take it from me, anger management really works...
HeHeHeHe
(Hope it made you laugh as much as I did when I heard it)
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