For Filipino Boxing Fans.....Boxing Joke......  

Two men waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.

"I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful, how does it feel
to freeze to death?" says the first.

"It's very uncomfortable at first, you get the shakes, and you get pains
in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go.
You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping.

How did you die?" says the second. "I had a heart attack", says the first
guy.
"You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up
at home unexpectedly.

I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting.
I ran down to the basement, bot no one was hiding there.
I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either.
I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a
massive heart attack and died."

The second man shakes his head. "that's so ironic" he says.
"What do you mean?" asks the first man "If you had only stopped to
look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."
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funny statements:

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute,
and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour,
and it seems like a minute.
THAT'S relativity."
- Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts
working the moment you get up in the morning
and does not stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that
nobody's there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we
explain the success of those we don't like ?
- Jean Cocturan

It's amazing that the amount of news that
happens in the world everyday always just
exactly fits the newspaper.
- Jerry Seinfeld

If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all
be watching television in the dark.
- Michael Landon

Always and never are two words you should
always remember never to use.
- Wendell Johnson

It matters not whether you win or lose;
what matters is whether I win or lose.
- Darrin Weinberg

Sometimes I think I understand everything.
Then I regain consciousness
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Once there were four guys, hindu, muslim, sikh and christian.
They
all started an argument about hanumanji. The matter of their
argument was the religion of hanuman ji.
First of all Hindu came forward and said Ram ji was hindu,
hanuman
ji was his follower so hanuman ji was also hindu. Then the
muslim
guy quickly responded at this and said hanuman is a muslim name
jaise rehman suleman waise hi hanuman. The christian guy said no
it is an english name just like heman
and -superman (heman,superman,hanuman).At this the sardar ji
got
angry and said "Jo insaan kisi doosre ki Bewee (wife) ke liye
apni poonch mein aag lagwa sakta hai, wo sardar ke siwa koi
nahi
ho saktaa"
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At a doctors surgery one morning a patient arrives complaining of serious backache. The doctor examines him and asks him"What the hell did you do to your back?" The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? Today morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been sleeping with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself.I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him,That's how I strained my back" The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor says "My previous looked bad, but you look terrible.What the hell happened to you?" He replies, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge." The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened to you?" "Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor
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HAIRCUT:
Women's version:
================
Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave
me the mirror.
I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman2: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get
my hair cut
like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm
pretty much stuck
with this stuff I think.
Woman1: Are you serious? I think your face is
adorable. And you
could easily get one of those layer cuts - that
would look so cute I
think. I was actually going to do that except that I
was afraid it
would accent my long neck.
Woman2: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your
neck! Anything
to take attention away from this two-by-four I have
for a shoulder
line.
Woman1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would
love to
have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on
you. I
mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I
had
your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much
easier.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Men's version:
=============
Man2: Haircut?
Man1: Yeah.
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There were 4 sardars in Mumbai.
They decided to start a business. After
considerable discussion they finally decided to
start a hotel. They selected the best of
locations and cooks and built the hotel. The
hotel was inaugurated and was awaiting its first
customer. The sardars waited and waited but
nobody turned up. The story was the same the next
day. A week passed, but nobody turned up. WHY ?
........... B'coz there was a sign at the entrance
"Visitors not allowed" After the failure of their
hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They
bought the best of car servicing equipment's and
soon started the garage. The 4 sardars waited
that day for the first car to arrive but no car
entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2
days, a week but no car came to their garage. WHY
? B'coz their garage was on the first floor.
After this failure they decided to fall back on
the good old taxi driving. They bought a new
Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look
for passengers. They drew past Churchgate but
nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Nariman
point yet nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to
Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody
hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on
driving all around Mumbai but alas no one hailed
their taxi. WHY ? B'coz all the four sardars
were sitting in the taxi!! All the 4 sardars were
very disgusted with their naseeb and decided to
push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines.
They started pushing their taxi. They pushed the
whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did
not move even an inch. They decided to rest for
the night and start the next day. The next day
the story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldn't
move. They pushed for a whole week but the taxi
wouldn't budge. WHY ? B'coz two sardarjis were
pushing from front and two from behind.
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Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandhar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening, and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his disrtraut mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya ?" The sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Mrutti wale pagal ho gaye nain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaae nain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik ?"
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You are great in boxing

lol
Pacman's birthday
is on December 17
it is an event
everybody is waiting.
for the free meal
of course! lol