how to tell him that you care without wrecking his life

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how would you tell someone you care about how you feel, without changing the course of the future and the past? what i mean is, if the object of your affection is in a happy relationship, possibly with children, and is having a great life, would you want to ruin that person's happiness just to make him aware how you feel? this is a bit selfish, and could possibly break up that person's great life. if i didn't want to do that, because what i want is only the best for him anyway, and if the 'best' is not to be with me, how could i let him know of my feelings without making him run away from me, or think badly of me. all i want to do is let him know, but i don't want him to dump his family to start something with me...not sure i'm being clear here...hopefully someone will understand what i mean ;) what would you do or say and how would you do or say it without afffecting his well-being and the well-being of his happy family? i don't want to be a homewrecker, but i feel like i'm carrying a secret that he should know about. to know that someone loves you dearly even though you can't love them can't be bad, can it? it could probably still be a compliment unless that person starts stalking you ;) (which i don't intend to do!)