My son stomped all his brother's toys....  

I agree, but now I feel bad. But I have to put a stop to this NOW. We worked our butts off to buy those toys and everything that they already have and he has to learn that he cannot destroy other people's property!!! Nor, his own!!! I'm furious at him, and now his father. I was crying, I just don't understand. I've tried everything I can, I'm NOT being nice about it anymore. I'm going to continue to punish him and I'm not giving in!! I have to stand my ground!!! I feel like if his father thinks I do everything wrong, maybe he should take him for a while and see if he can do better. ( I don't really mean that, but I'm so frustrated.) (his dad wouldn't take him anyways) But, anyways, can you understand my frustrations???? I have to get my point across one way or another...becuz I'm losing control with this one, and once that happens, I'll lose control with all of them and have 9 kids in juvinile hall! :-(

Yes, and it works well sometimes, except this is the moodiest, angriest child EVER. I've talked to him till I'm blue in the face, he sees a counseler, I do things with him everyday, just me and him, like fix dinner, or make a craft, ect. I just don't know what else to do. He can be the sweetest child ever, and then the meanest.

The reward system is if they do their homework, and chores, and don't mouth off all night, they get fake dollars...then at the end of the week, they can "buy" things like extra computer time, xbox time, time with me, tv time, and so on. It works great for the other kids, and him too, except buy the end of the week, he usually ends up with less than everyone else becuz of him mouthing off and tearing stuff up, or hitting other kids.

Any other suggestions? WHat am I doing wrong?

It really sounds like you are doing everything right. You talk to him, give him special time with you, rewards, etc...
You sound like you are a great mom, I would be beyond frustrated as well. I teach kindergarten and it has been a few years since I have had a really difficult child. But when I did, nothing I was doing would work with the child. I had to get help from the counselor at our school.

I wish that you could get his father to back you up and help you out with him.

I really don't know what to suggest to you, I wish I did. Is there anyone in your community that could help you out?

I am scheduled to start parenting classes through the church and school on Jan. 16th. I'm really hoping that I get some really useful information out of it!! Cross your fingers!

It seems to me like you are doing a good job with your kids. It would be hard to have that many and with that many you are sure to get one rotten apple out of the bunch. It has to be hard to have that many siblings all trying for your attention, maybe he feels he just has to work extra hard to get your attention whether negative or positive. Just keep your head up and ignore his father cause it doesn't sound like he is in his life anyways.

I've talked to the doc about it. They won't do anything because he does not act that way at school. He's 8, not 3. And I agree with you about their father. He's never around and he don't deal with them, so he needs to butt out!

Thank you for the response!

Of course I will! Thank you for the response!

Thank you.

The counselling really isn't helping. I sat down with him after he did this, and I had him make a list of all the things he was angry about. Then we talked about them. He apologized. I apologized for the things that I did wrong! I'm not perfect either. And then today he was right back at his same ole stuff again! AAAHHHHHH

Wow, he did the same thing the next day.. did he forget your conversation and all else that you had that time? Quite difficult to understand..
Tell him how you feel?

hmm, just something that popped into my mind (randomly), just an idea. Sometimes it can help if they have a good diet, or eat a certain something (I don't know, but I saw this on the news). Fish oil helps with concentration and brain stuff like that, perhaps try that.

Well, I think that was my last idea :P
Hope it all works out for you :]

Thank you very much for your help! He didn't break toys again the next day, but he was showing his butt. I don't know what to do with him. Hopefully today is a better day!

Well, with you not being the parent, there's really nothing you can do to change her if the mother lets her get by with it. You just have to deal with her the ways you are allowed. But really stop and think about that. There has to be something that REALLY gets to her. Hopefully it's easier to find than with my son! You may not be able to smack her, but there has to be something that will atleast get her attention!

With my son, I've found that if you ignore all the 'outbursts' (well, not all, but the majority, unless you really have to step in) they become fewer and fewer, because when they don't even get the negative attention from it, they eventually will stop (but usually resort to something else :-( )

Now you can't ignore the girl hurting the boy...something definitely NEEDS to be done about that!!! If nothing else, if it gets to be too bad, maybe you could get the authorities involved. I know that's extreme, but she's probably going to start REALLY hurting him if someone don't step in! Good Luck

Thank you for your response!

I did talk to him with little success. :-(

I just don't understand his behavior in general. I have to be doing something wrong. He is soooo bad sometimes. Mostly all the time. I'm tired.

I don't know, he's pretty darn set in his ways. He's so stubborn and bullheaded. And yes, he's very LOUD and VIOLENT! I'm just lost on what to do with him. I have taken him to doc. with no success on changes. I have to figure him out!

Well, I didn't BEAT him, if that makes you feel any better. I didn't know what else to do! I hate spanking my kids, but I've tried everything in the book and nothing fazes him. I'm so frustrated. I think he needs medication. I think he has several different things wrong with him....He shouts out things and claps and ahhhh, he does things all day long, he's hyperactive, and I think he also has Obsessive (sp) Compulsive Disorder. He will do things like rituals, like when he hangs up the phone...he will say "I love you, bye" 3 times before he hangs up...EVERY SINGLE TIME!!

I don't know...I could go on forever. I'm just REALLY FRUSTRATED WITH HIM!!! I want to pull my hair out. I want to help him, not hurt him!

Thanks for your response...if you have any ideas, please do!!!